The conditions are good, but they left Zhang Baotong 2016.8.30

A few days ago, I saw a program of "Township Covenant" on CCTV, in which there was a young man who chose a girlfriend who sadly told the story of his parents' relationship breakdown and divorce. Pen | fun | pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 He said that in the past, the family conditions were very difficult, and the parents loved each other, and lived in harmony and happiness with the children. However, later, my father's business became bigger, and the family's living conditions improved. However, the parents parted ways due to the breakdown of their relationship. For this reason, he sighed sadly and said: It is easy to fight the country, but it is difficult to protect the country!

In recent years, the divorce rate in our country has been on the rise, as is the divorce of middle-aged and elderly people who have been married for more than 20 years and between the ages of 40 and 65. According to a 2015 survey in Beijing, 17 percent of divorce parties were between the ages of 40 and 50 in 1980, 28 percent in 2001 and 32.1 percent in 2003, while those over 50 accounted for 9 percent in 1980, 12 percent in 2001 and 14.7 percent in 2003. In Shanghai, in 2013, there were 30,745 middle-aged and elderly couples who divorced by mutual agreement (excluding the number of divorces filed with the court), and the number of divorces by agreement increased by 12% over the previous year, an increase of 3,369 couples, with an average of 84 couples per day. And this number continues to increase all the time.?

We know that there is a "three-year itch" and a "seven-year itch" in marriage, but now the number of white-haired couples who choose to "scatter at dusk" is increasing. This phenomenon is known as "mature divorce". So, why is the divorce rate among middle-aged and elderly people rising so fast?

Some people have conducted an in-depth analysis of the specific reasons for the divorce of middle-aged and elderly couples, and summarized four reasons: 1. Some men devote themselves to work and career when they are in the prime of life, in order to pursue more wealth and family happiness, but they are getting farther and farther away from their partners on the road of life. It wasn't until they looked back after retirement that they found it difficult to get along with their partner like that anymore. 2. There are also some people whose relationship has long been broken, and they only persevered until middle age for the sake of their children. Because the divorce of parents will have a great impact on children. Not only will it delay their studies, but it will even affect their normal life. In view of this, even if they have an emotional gap very early, they will wait until after their children's college entrance examination, or after they get married and start a family, and then choose to divorce. This is why there are two peak periods for divorce in my country every year, one is after the Spring Festival and the other is after the college entrance examination. Most of the divorces after the Spring Festival are young couples. After the college entrance examination, the divorce is mainly middle-aged and elderly couples. 3. Because of the sudden death of a child. The longer the husband and wife spend together in a Chinese family, the less communication there will be between the two and the greater the conflict. Most of the relationship between husband and wife is maintained by their children. Especially for those families with only one child, if the child dies suddenly due to accidents or illnesses, those couples who have a large emotional gap will no longer have a reason to continue to make do. 4. Divorce due to changes in economic conditions. Divorce due to a middle-aged person who became rich overnight or made a fortune in order to remarry. This is the ugliness of human nature and the norm in society. There is also the case of sudden bankruptcy and overnight poverty.

The phenomena that lead to divorce among middle-aged and elderly people are diverse. But the main reason is that there is a discord in the relationship, and I don't want to make do with it anymore. When people fall in love and get married, they don't really know each other very well, at least not really about each other. Because when falling in love and getting married, both parties who love each other almost present their good side to each other. And because of the lover's eyes, the lover will often take your shortcomings seriously. Because of love, you can tolerate everything about each other. But after getting married, everything began to change slowly. At this time, you no longer look at the other party with tolerance and tolerance. Sometimes when you compare yourself to others, your mentality will be very different from when you are in love. Dissatisfaction and resentment will fill your heart and life more and more. All kinds of contradictions and quarrels will follow. Sometimes, some disasters and troubles will also take the opportunity to cause trouble, or the other person will fall seriously ill, or the health status will drop sharply, or the child will suffer misfortune, or the family will encounter a major disaster. All of these can exacerbate the changes in the marriage. There is an old Chinese saying: husband and wife are birds of the same forest, and they fly separately when disaster comes. And now some people regard "promotion, wealth, and dead wife" as the three treasures of middle-aged men. It can be seen how fragile the relationship between husband and wife is.

Of course, this phenomenon is not limited to the emotional characteristics that occur between couples in today's society. In ancient times, "divorce of wives" and the saint's "entering the cold palace" are all concrete manifestations of liking the new and hating the old. Since the founding of the People's Republic of China, our country has experienced three divorce climaxes: the first divorce climax was the divorce of the fathers of the Republic at the beginning of the founding of the People's Republic of China, the second was the divorce during the "****" period because of political problems and after returning to the city from the mountains and the countryside, and the third was the divorce because there was no love when free love prevailed since the eighties. The rising trend of divorce in recent years is the fourth divorce upsurge in China.

Divorce is helpless, but divorce is not terrible. Because people's bodies will change, their minds will change, their surroundings will change, and all kinds of things will change, and we must calmly face and accept the results of this change. Therefore, rational divorce should be a manifestation of tolerance and progress in society. Because the purpose of people marrying is to make life better for two individuals. If the relationship can no longer make them comfortable or happy to live together, it is better to let them separate. It doesn't matter who gains or loses, or who is right and who is wrong. This way of transcending the endless resentment and quarrels is much more real and relaxed than the feeling that is dead, and making a happy and envious appearance to others.

So why is it that "when the conditions are good, they leave"? Because when life is difficult, everyone is struggling to survive with food and clothing. At the level of life, food and clothing are naturally more important than feelings. And once the problem of food and clothing is solved, people begin to pay attention to their emotional life. Otherwise, there will be a saying that "poor thieves, food and clothing ****". Again, divorce means being separated forever. But after living for so long, the family will face many problems after separation. The main thing is what will happen to the other person or the child? Will they be able to live as before? If they are rich, it doesn't seem to be a big problem, and giving them a sum of money can ensure that they can live in peace. However, the vast majority of Chinese are not rich. Therefore, after the divorce, whether the life of the ex-wife and children can be guaranteed is something that men must carefully consider. If their lives will be in trouble immediately after the divorce, then the man will have worries at this time, and maybe he will not divorce immediately. Because the actual life of his wife and children is more important than his own emotional problems.

A colleague I know, they divorced after having children, but at that time, the children were still young, and the wife refused to leave, and then the children were older, and because of the house problem, they couldn't leave, because they only had one house, and once they divorced, the wife and children had no place to live. Later, because the children were going to college and getting married, the divorce was postponed. Otherwise, we often see divorced men in movies and reality going to "leave the house", that is, a person leaves the family without anything, that is, he wants to leave all his hard-earned property to his wife and children, so that they can live a better life after the divorce.

To put it bluntly, marriage takes money, and divorce requires even more money. Otherwise, the richer the life, the higher the divorce rate, and the better the conditions, the higher the divorce rate. That's why "when the conditions are good, they leave". Looking at the United States and European countries, their divorce rates have been high for many years, because they have social assistance and protection, and there will be no situation where ex-wives and children cannot live because of divorce.

The richer a person's material life is, the higher the pursuit of spirituality. People's emotional life has a direct impact on people's quality of life and life feelings. Divorce can help people get rid of some of this problem. However, divorce is not a panacea for relationship problems, and it is also very effective. Some of the people I spoke with had been divorced and about to get divorced, but they never crossed the divorce divide, or retreated back from the divorce divide. Because they have realized or felt that divorce will not solve their mental and emotional problems. In particular, some divorced people found a new love, but it didn't take long for them to get divorced again. There are not a few such people. A person in my past unit, his wife died, and he found a young and beautiful newcomer, who was in business again, and was very rich. The two were in love with each other at the time, and they had to hold and pull them when they walked on the road. However, a few days ago, the two of them didn't know what to do, so they started a lawsuit in the court, and they were so happy that even relatives on both sides sent a large group.

No way, it's so wonderful and strange in the world. You're tired of your past marriage, or you're in love with a new love. So, you divorced and married a new love, but whose new love is not someone else's old love? What will you do when your new love becomes an old love? In this world, it is easy to change your mood, but what remains unchanged is the feelings of love.

The property market is risky, and divorce should be cautious.