Left-behind Woman (short story) Zhang Baotong 2015.10.29

Xiuling had insomnia again at night.

As soon as she has insomnia, she wants to be noble. Minggui is her man. But this time, she didn't think about Minggui, but a man called Junshe. This man was a wheat guest invited by her cousin from Beishan, in his thirties, broad-shouldered and strong, honest and responsible, cutting wheat like a small harvester, and in less than two days, he put down two or three acres of wheat in her house. This made her feel very fond of him.

Actually, Xiuling is not thinking about the military club, but about the man. Men are so nice, they can work in the fields during the day and sleep with their arms in their arms at night. Otherwise, why do you say that women can't do without men. However, Minggui works in Xi'an, and the ticket costs more than 100 yuan for each trip. Originally, Minggui said that he would come back to collect wheat, which made her look forward to it, but when she came to the front, she said that she couldn't come back, and asked her to find a wheat customer to help collect wheat.

She didn't want to find someone, because she had to give people 50 yuan a day. But last year, because she was afraid of spending money, she didn't invite anyone, she worked hard for five or six days, and when the wheat was harvested, she also went to the hospital, and her period lasted for more than 20 days, and it cost more than 1,000 yuan to be hospitalized alone, and she almost didn't die of heartache. So, this time, as soon as she heard that Minggui said that she couldn't come back, she asked a microphone to help. However, there is one more thing that McKe can't help, and that is that she wants men.

Every time in the dead of night, in the face of the cold moon and residual lights, a feeling of loneliness and suffering quietly crept into her heart. She remembered the man's thick, warm hands and broad, powerful arms. The feeling of the hands caressing her was so warm, and the feeling of those arms holding her in her arms made her even more intoxicated. However, this good time is only for a short time. Soon after he got married, he went out to work. Since then, they can only come back every year during the Chinese New Year and the wheat harvest, but they all come and go in a hurry, leaving her with a long night and boundless thoughts.

Because of insomnia, Xiuling woke up and saw that the sky was already bright, so she got up in a hurry, and ran to the wheat field without bothering to wash her face. When she reached the wheat field between the slopes of the mountain, she saw that the man called the military society had already cut down a large field of wheat. This made her feel embarrassed, and felt that the wheat field seemed to belong to someone else, not hers.

She took the sickle, cut the wheat, and asked the man, "Why did you come so early?" for the North Mountain was a twenty-mile walk from here, and it would take at least an hour or two to walk. The man said, "I want to finish your work early, and tomorrow it's time to harvest wheat for my house." In fact, he only needs to finish a day, and it is not his concern how much work he can do. Therefore, when Xiuling heard this, she couldn't help but be a little moved, and felt that this person was so sincere, working for others, and was not lazy at all, so she said in a very good tone, "Don't worry, I don't have much wheat in my house, even if I have a little left, I can harvest it myself." ”

Women in the mountains generally can't talk casually to men outside, and let others gossip when they see them, so Xiuling deliberately distanced herself from men. But every time she cut down a piece of wheat, Xiuling had to straighten up, catch her breath, and look at the man over there for a while. The man was tall and sturdy, with broad shoulders and a thin waist, wearing an open short-sleeved shirt, and his scythe and cutting of wheat were light and skillful, very graceful, especially the bare chest and arms, revealing a kind of beauty that made a woman's heart move.

While cooking at noon, Xiuling beat four eggs at once and gave the man noodles. The man held the bowl and said distressedly, "Why are you giving me so many eggs at once?" But Xiuling refused, saying, "You do this heavy work, it's too hard, you have to make up for your body." ”

Sitting at a small table to eat, the two are very close, they can talk casually, and they don't have to worry about being seen and gossiping. Xiuling asked, "Why didn't you go out to work?" Because there is no other way to earn money in the mountains, children go to school, the elderly see a doctor, build a house, marry a daughter-in-law, all the money has to be earned by going out to work, so younger men have to go out to work.

The man sighed and said, "My daughter-in-law is sick, and someone needs to take care of her at home." Xiuling asked, "What's the disease?" The man said, "Uterine fibroids, it cost thirty or forty thousand yuan just to see a doctor." "The people in the mountains are already poor, so how dare they get this disease? If they get this disease, they will have to go bankrupt. Xiuling was surprised and said, "How long has it been?" and the man said, "It's been more than a year." Xiuling said, "I heard that if you have this disease, the woman will be abolished?" because there were people in the neighboring village who had this disease, and not only did they ruin their homes, but even men didn't want to go down with her.

The man nodded, sighed, and said, "No way, we haven't slept together since she got sick." Xiuling said sympathetically, "But how can a man do without a woman? besides, you are still young." Because she knows that women can't do without men, and men can't do without women. When a man leaves a woman, he either becomes a monster or learns badly. The man put down the dishes and chopsticks and said very sadly, "But, what can you do about this kind of woman?"

At this time, my father-in-law came over and gave him a piece of tofu, saying that he had bought it from the town, and then said to Xiuling, "In the evening, I won't come, and the rest of the work will be talked about tomorrow." Xiuling said, "Don't come, I can do the rest of the work slowly." ”

As soon as the father-in-law left, the third daughter-in-law came over and said to Xiuling, "The old man has called, saying that he will come back tomorrow afternoon to collect wheat." Xiuling said, "I still don't harvest his wheat." The third daughter-in-law said, "No matter how much money you earn outside, you can't say you don't want the crops at home, this is a year's harvest." ”

Xiuling said to her brother and daughter-in-law while eating, "The third child still feels sorry for you, and ran back as soon as he said that he would harvest the wheat." The third daughter-in-law said, "My body is always sick, and if he doesn't come back, who will harvest the wheat in this field?" If he had come back, how could I have had that serious illness and spend so much money. ”

The third daughter-in-law said, "But if you invite someone this year, Minggui doesn't have to come back, which not only saves the money for round-trip tickets, but also does not delay him to earn money in the city." It's a good idea. Xiuling said, "No, with the help of this eldest brother, the wheat in the field will be harvested faster than usual, and it will be all harvested in half a day." The third daughter-in-law said, "It's faster than my family." ”

When the meal is finished, the man will go down to the ground. But Xiuling still had to wash the dishes and feed the pigs, so he said, "Don't worry, there's not much work in the field." With that, he made a cup of tea, took out a box of cigarettes, and put it in front of the man. The man smoked a cigarette and drank tea, and asked, "Where is the child?" Xiuling said, "I've been busy these days, so I've been at my mother-in-law's house." The man asked again, "How old is the child?" and Xiuling said, "It's in the third grade." The man said, "My kid is in the fifth grade." Xiuling said, "Then you are older than me." The man asked, "How old are you?" and Xiuling said, "I'm almost thirty." What about you?" said the man, "I am thirty-four." "People in the mountains are like this, as long as they report their age, they have a sense of closeness to each other.

There is a sense of closeness between men and women, and they don't feel tired when they get to work. Therefore, the work in the afternoon was done very quickly, and a large field of wheat was cut in less than half a day. After harvesting the wheat and seeing that it was still early, the man had to help Xiuling clean up the pigsty, because the canopy on the pigsty had collapsed. Xiuling felt that the pigsty was too dirty, and it was not a job that people should do, so she said, "Don't worry about it, I'll clean it up after I'm done." But the man said, "This is done by a woman." Without saying a word, he went into the pigsty, took out the old straw from the roof, replaced it with new straw, and laid it neatly. Xiuling was very grateful, and hurriedly brought a large basin of warm water to the man, and asked the man to go into the house to wash.

After harvesting the wheat, it's time to pay the people. Xiuling called the man into the house, gave the man three days' wages, and gave him a pack of white sand cigarettes. So that the family can go home early in the morning, because the man will have to harvest wheat for his house tomorrow.

The man took the money and did not get up to leave immediately, but continued to sit on a small stool in the hall and smoke. Xiuling thought to herself, "Did she forget something?" and asked, "Is there anything else?" The man got up from the small stool, looked a little embarrassed, and then pleaded, "I want to have dinner at your place, do you think it's okay?"

For rural people, eating a meal is nothing. Xiuling didn't think about it and said, "Of course you can, I'm just afraid that you'll be late when you go back after dinner." The man said again and again, "Don't be afraid, don't be afraid." As he spoke, he looked at her with that strange and expectant gaze.

Xiuling knew that the man didn't want to leave her, and she didn't want the man to leave, and to put it in her heart, she was very grateful to the man and had a good impression. However, she couldn't keep him without reason, for fear of gossiping. Xiuling sighed secretly and said, "Then I'll go cook now, so that you can go back early after eating." With that, Xiuling stood up from the small table and prepared to go to the kitchen to cook.

However, the man took her hand, and held it tightly, and there was a deep plea in his eyes. She understood what he meant, and was holding the man's hand tightly, involuntarily, very strongly, as if she had the same physical sensation as him. She knew that the feelings and impulses came from the depths of her heart. Because she also longs to rely on him and be close to him. However, she is a self-respecting and self-loving woman, who values face and reputation more than her life, and has never had trouble with other men since she got married. Therefore, this made her very hesitant and embarrassed.

However, her hesitation and embarrassment made the man think that she was acquiescing, so he impatiently hugged her and wanted to kiss her. Instinctively, she flashed her face to the side and hurriedly pushed him away. Because the door was open, she was afraid that people would see it. Once this matter is known to others, it will be a big scandal, and it will even ruin her reputation.

But she did like this honest and sturdy man, and she couldn't bear to let him down sadly. Because she felt that he was in a similar situation to herself, and she was sympathetic. Although Minggui is physically strong, he is far away from the sky, making her unreachable. Extreme thirst often sucked away her vividness like an endless drought, turning her sweet dreams into long dark nights one after another. She pitied the man in front of her, and she also pitied herself.

Thinking of this, she let out a long sigh of great rage, and said to the man, "Wait a minute," and went to the door, looked outside, and saw that no one was coming, closed the door of the hall, and went into the inner room. When the man saw her latching the door, he followed her into the inner room, and when he saw her sitting on the edge of the bed and began to undress, he went over and picked her up tightly and took her in his arms.

Wait for them to get dressed and get out of bed. Xiuling looked in the mirror, straightened her messy hair, and hurriedly opened the door of the hall. Her pounding heart began to calm down. Seeing the man coming out of the back room, Xiuling said to the man while washing her hands, "You sit and rest for a while, I'll scramble some tofu for you and put down a bowl of tomato and egg noodles." But the man waved his hand and said, "It's getting dark, I'm going back quickly." ”

Xiuling asked, "You don't eat dinner?" The man smiled and said, "Didn't you eat just now?" and then stuffed fifty yuan into Xiuling's hand and said, "This is the money for dinner." As soon as Xiuling saw that the man gave her money, she immediately straightened up and said, "Who do you think of me?" Then, she forced the money back to the man and said, "This money is your hard-earned money, take it back and give it to your wife and children." The man put the money in his pocket and said movingly, "You're such a good person." Xiuling said, "Don't say this, it's getting dark, go home quickly, and we have to harvest wheat tomorrow." The man took Xiuling's hand again and said, "Will you still ask me to come to collect wheat next year?" Xiuling snorted and said with a smile, "Yes, but there will be no more dinner." The man let go of Xiuling's hand, smiled happily, and said, "Okay, I have hope again next year." As he spoke, he kissed Xiuling on the cheek and went out.

Xiuling sent the man to the path in front of the door, watching him walk towards the twilight mountain road, an inexplicable melancholy rose in his heart, and there was a trace of helpless attachment and sadness in the inexplicable melancholy.