The dilemma of family pension Zhang Baotong 2018.6.18

Parents are the benefactors who raise us, our closest relatives in the world, and the sustenance and comfort in the hearts of our whole family. We all want our parents to live a long life and live with us forever. However, my parents really lived to be in their eighties, nineties, and even to be 100 years old. At this time, their life expectancy has far exceeded their ability to live and resist disease, and they are either paralyzed at home or in hospitals, which will cause great burden and pressure on the life and work of our children.

Pension does make us face a contradictory and very contradictory reality. We want our parents to live a long life, but we are overwhelmed by the burden of our parents' old age. Pension is not just for parents to have food and housing, if the age of the parents is not too old, life can take care of themselves, pension is generally not much of a problem. I remember that before the age of 85, my mother was able to walk on her legs and feet, cook for herself, and go to the toilet by herself. My brother and my sister came once or twice in two or three days to help her buy some things or give some things, and I didn't think it was too difficult to help her deal with anything.

However, in the past two years, my mother's legs and feet have not been very dexterous, and she has to hold on to things when she walks, and she can't go to the toilet by herself. Especially the year before last, one night when she stepped on a chair and put a sewn quilt on top of the big cabinet, she didn't stand firmly, fell off the chair, and fell a big green bag on the back of her head, and she immediately passed out and didn't wake up until the next morning. This frightened our whole family. From then on, it was decided that the mother should not be left alone at home, and each person took two months to take care of the mother. There are exactly six brothers and sisters in my family, and each of them is on duty once a year. Because I was far away from home in Xi'an and I was signing a contract to write, I gave my sister some money every month to help take care of her mother. When it came to the Chinese New Year, I went home to visit my mother.

Actually, my mother's current situation is not bad, sometimes, my brother and my sister are busy, and they can't take care of her all day during the day, she will take out some things from the refrigerator to cook by herself, and she doesn't need to be taken care of by others. Until dinner, my brother or sister would come and cook for her, and after dinner they would stay with her in the house until the next morning.

My sister-in-law's mother's situation is more troublesome. Her mother, who was the same age as my mother, had been paralyzed in bed for three or four years. There were five sisters and brothers in the family, and each of them took care of them for two months at first. Every time it was my sister-in-law's turn to be on duty, my brother had to go with him, because the patient was paralyzed in bed all day, and someone had to take care of eating, drinking, and lazing, and he had to scrub every day, otherwise he would get bedsores. However, the patient was too fat to move alone, so he had to serve both of them. Originally, my brother and sister-in-law's family was not financially well-off, and the two of them went from Hunan to Anhui and stayed for two months, which was not only physically laborious, but also a heavy burden financially. The hardest part is that their grandchildren have started school, and they have to pick them up and drop them off every day. Taking care of a grandson would have kept them busy enough, but the old man still had to take care of them. This made them feel powerless and miserable. However, if you have great difficulties in this kind of thing, you have to do your best. After two years of tossing and turning, everyone was exhausted, and finally, everyone discussed again and decided to ask someone to take care of it. It just so happened that the old man's monthly retirement salary was more than 3,000 yuan, and as soon as he sold the old man's house in Huangshan, he used the money to pay for the cost of being taken care of. In this way, everyone can be regarded as relieved.

My father-in-law is 90 years old this year, and he was fine a year ago, and he walked on the street with his mother-in-law all day. However, since March this year, he began to be sick and hospitalized, and he was hospitalized in the third hospital for two weeks, not only did he not take care of his illness, but his legs began to swell, and he has been living in the Provincial Hospital of Traditional Chinese Medicine recently. One person lives in a hospital, and the whole family has to work. Originally, my wife's health was not good, and she often had to go to the hospital. Her sister's mother-in-law had just died, her sister was still watching her grandson, and her brother was busy at work all day. However, now everyone has to focus on the patient, rotating shifts day and night.

In fact, for people of our age, who does not have an old man in his eighties or nineties? Originally, I thought that after finally raising my children and making them a family, I could relax and take a breath. Immediately, however, the old man's side became the center of the problem again. And the problem of pension for the elderly seems to be more of a headache than the problem of children. Almost everyone in our recent retirement has faced this problem. Yang Shi's mother-in-law was paralyzed at home a few years ago, incontinent, or old age, and he and his wife had to take care of him and his wife. Moreover, I have to buy bananas for my mother-in-law every day, because my mother-in-law is very constipated. Last year, his mother-in-law passed away and his mother came again. His mother is also in old age, and the situation is exactly the same as that of his mother-in-law, so the busiest thing for him and his wife is to take care of her mother in a day. Master Gao's family is in Yan'an, and his 90-year-old mother is taken care of by his younger brother, who sends him 1,000 yuan a month, and then goes back for ten days every two months. However, in April this year, his younger brother suddenly suffered a cerebral infarction, and although he was rescued in time, he could no longer take care of his mother. He had to take his mother from Yan'an to Xi'an by car. The old mother was tall and big, slumped on the bed, and had to be carried to the bathroom by him for urine and urine. But he is also in his sixties, and sometimes he is tired from holding for a little longer, and his back hurts. Just because his mother wanted to urinate, he could only take a nap at noon, so he hurried out to play ball for a while, and had to rush back in a hurry, because his wife couldn't hold her mother at all. Zhang's family is in Beijing, and his mother, who is in her 90s, is taken care of by his sister, but he has to take care of his mother-in-law. My mother-in-law is also in her 90s, and she used to be a public security cadre, with a retirement salary of more than 6,000 per month. A few years ago, I asked a nanny to help take care of it, but in the past two years, my mother-in-law's physical condition has deteriorated a little, so I sent my mother-in-law to a nursing home in Chang'an County. The conditions in the nursing home are better, and there are special people to take care of the condition, but the fee is also relatively high, at least 6,000 per month. This is something that the average family simply cannot afford. But there are also nursing homes that are a little cheaper. The mother of one of my former leaders lived in an ordinary nursing home and only paid two or three thousand yuan a month. I have heard that the cost of nursing homes is based on the number of people cared for by one caregiver. If a caregiver takes care of three elderly people, the monthly fee is 3,000 yuan, and if one caregiver takes care of five elderly people, then the fee is 2,000 yuan. But I heard that the elderly don't want to live in a nursing home, but there is no way because the family does not have time to take care of them. So, they always look forward to their families coming to visit them on Sundays, or to take them home for a day or two on the holidays.

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