...... Long Dou, who walked out of the school gate, really came into contact with the outside world for the first time, and he didn't raise idlers at home, and he was arrogant and ready to go to the bustling city, to put it bluntly, he was going to work in other places.

Because I didn't have any skills, my first job was to work in a car wash at a relative's house, and my main job every day was to sweep the floor.

For Long Dou, he felt that this was a job that particularly damaged his face, and it was a waste of his youth, and the salary was low.

So a month later, he resigned as a matter of course, and when he left, the boss gave him a salary of three hundred yuan, Long Dou took the three hundred yuan, and he was still very happy, although the money was a little less, but after all, it was the first money he earned.

When he got home, his mother found a friend to find a second job for Long Dou, which was to drive a roller on a construction site, a job that could be run around the country, and he gladly accepted it, because he finally didn't have to stay with his parents.

It's quite easy to drive a road roller, it's nothing more than boring, just stay up for time, Long Dou is still acceptable at first, and then slowly feel that he shouldn't live this kind of casual life.

There is no one in the dormitory who is the same age as him, all of them are at the level of an uncle, do you have to live a plain life like them in this life? After all, he is still so young!

Long Dou, who works during the day, begins to chat with various social software at night to pass the boring time, and by chance he meets a girl, and Long Dou starts his first relationship online.

The first relationship is always so memorable, they talked online for a year, and during the Chinese New Year, Long Dou went home for the New Year, and they met.

It's not love at first sight, anyway, both parties have a good feeling, and after half a year of contact, Long Dou took the girl home to meet her parents.

Mom didn't like this girl very much, and made a mark at the time: "You are still young, and you don't know each other yet, let's get along for a while." ”

Later, Long Dou found out that it was his mother who didn't take a fancy to this girl, the reason was because the girl's height was too short, and in the end, this relationship, after Long Dou compromised his mother, announced goodbye.

Without the company of this girl, Long Dou after work, staring at the gray avatar of the girl on his phone, felt unprecedented loneliness and helplessness, and he began to fear the feeling of having no one by his side.

After that, he began to make friends extensively. In the most popular phrase at the moment, he began to cast his net, and he wanted to be the king of the sea.

When he was busiest, he had to chat with five or six girls at the same time, and finally developed to fall in love with five or six girls at the same time.

Even if one of them finds out, or is aware of something, he never explains anything, but chooses to kick it out, because if one is divided, there will be new alternatives to join.

drove the steamroller for four years, and in the past four years, Long Dou has not saved money, nor has he gained his love, but there are more and more girls who have been deceived by him.

In the year when Long Dou was twenty-one years old, he met a girl from Doucheng by chance, and at first he just wanted to pass the boring time, but he didn't expect the girl's infatuation to move him.

Ryuto decided to stay with the girl, and he quit his job driving a steamroller and came to Doucheng to live with the girl.

The girl's job is a teacher, two years older than Ryuto, and he is very good at taking care of people, and Ryuto decides to put down roots in the city.

Because of his burly stature, Ryudou got a job as a bar security guard.

Doucheng is a small city, located at the junction of three provinces, and close to the border, so the social security is relatively poor, there is a good saying: the water is shallow, the king is eight, and there are big brothers everywhere.

The people of Doucheng do everything, most of them are some shady black industries, and the bar is a gathering place for these people, and it is even more common for drunk people to make trouble, so the bar security work is not easy to do.

Late that night, there were fewer and fewer customers in the bar, and there was a table of customers arguing, I don't know why, and finally beat a waitress in the bar.

Long Dou's move was taken by a big brother, and the big brother decided to accept him as a younger brother: "Hey, my brother is good, it's too condescending to be a security guard in this bar, follow me to make a lot of money!"

Long Dou was moved, but he didn't reply to him immediately, but said with a smile: "Brother Tiger likes me, it's my honor, the bar owner treats me well, I can't say goodbye, and when I have the opportunity, I will go to Brother Hu." The one, known as Brother Tiger, smiled and nodded and left the bar.

Long Dou, who returned home, was lying on the bed, his girlfriend's meals had been prepared, and he was not in the mood to eat.

He was thinking that his monthly salary was more than 3,000, and he had the possibility of having conflicts with others at any time every night, after all, the bar was a place of right and wrong, and it was better for him to earn more money while he was young.

After having this idea, Long Dou called Brother Hu: "Brother Hu, I want to make money with you, is there any good way?"

After listening to this, Brother Hu laughed and said: "There is a way, come out to meet in the evening and eat together." Before the banquet, Brother Hu gave Long Dou a lot of empty promises, and Long Dou believed it.

In this way, Zhang Minglong stayed by Long Dou's side for four years, during which he helped Brother Hu do a lot of things, grab land, collect accounts, and earn some money.

Come out to mix, sooner or later one day will have to pay it back, Long Dou was in the bar because of his eldest brother, was cut and admitted to the hospital, and stayed in the hospital for seven days, after being discharged from the hospital, Brother Tiger wanted to take him to the west to do engineering, Long Dou was secretly happy in his heart, he thought that this time he could finally go on the right path.

After coming to the west, Brother Tiger became fond of gambling and lost a lot of money, and he also lost the money earned by Long Dou.

The savings that have been exchanged for years in exchange for his life have been reduced to zero, and his girlfriend also proposed to break up at this time, Long Dou did not do much to keep it, because he has nothing now, and staying by his side will only affect others.

Think about yourself over the years, from a bad boy to a scumbag who walks with scum, almost thirty years old, nothing has been accomplished, nothing is good, poor and white......

He is nothing, and he follows a big brother who is nothing, eating and waiting for death all day long.

has reached this step, Long Dou still believes that what Brother Hu said can turn the book, he decided to be the last game, relatives, friends, banks, and even loan sharks, borrowed everything he could, and in the end he lost all his money.

Brother Hu ran abroad, it is estimated that he will not come back in this life, Long Dou in order to repay the loan shark, he works three jobs a day and only sleeps three hours.

Since then, Ryudou likes to stand on a high place alone, listening to the song sung by the unknown singer.

"It's 3:05 a.m. again, and my heart still has a little warmth left. Feeling the night's lifelessness makes me sink in a dream of desire. I always feel like I owe a lot to everyone.

In the end, I found that I was perfunctory and innocent.

I looked down on everything, and when I understood it, I felt that my life had come to an end.

Goodbye ideals, goodbye wishes, goodbye strong, goodbye loved ones' faces.

Goodbye city, goodbye yesterday, goodbye story, goodbye thousand words.

I want to have a good time to let myself be free and easy, and I don't want to live in embarrassment.

Let me stand closest to heaven and accuse myself of being as shameless as a deserter.

I wanted to find the best way to solve myself, but I didn't have the professional qualifications to be a killer.

I wish it could be gorgeous when I landed, with red roses covering my filthy body.

Don't be sad, don't be sad, don't shed tears. In the next life, live well, and don't be guilty again. ”