Early in the morning, when Enacyrin opened his eyes, he heard the sparse sound of rain outside. Leloya and Soun took a day off for him, and he had wanted to have a good day off.

But to tell the truth, he had not slept well at all last night, and had been in a state of half-sleep for almost the whole night, waking up several times, and each time he woke up, he had to look at the wall clock, and found that it was not yet dawn and forced himself to fall asleep again and again.

Such a feeling was too painful, and at the moment of dawn, Enacillicillin was really relieved.

He rolled over and got up, straightened the futon, and opened the heavy curtains.

Hmmm-

The sun poured into the room, but it was drizzling down the street.

Eneracillin squinted at the rays of sunlight and suddenly remembered that when the sun and rain used to fall, he could always hear street vendors hiding from the rain under the eaves of the residents complaining about the hot and humid weather, the lack of drying of clothes, and the discomfort of walking on the street.

But his father liked the street scene after the sun and rain, saying that it had a chic feeling and was very beautiful.

At that time, Ernacillin was still young and could not understand his father's words, and only found the weather very uncomfortable, but his mother smiled and pinched his face and said, "A qualified painter must know how to appreciate all kinds of beauty." ”

At that time, the street was one of the liveliest streets in Nalto.

Now it's no one's land, and it's only a night before and after.

With so many dead, no one has dared to live here for at least a few decades? Who would have imagined that two days ago this was one of the most prosperous streets in Nalto?

Enacyrin sighed and turned to go into the bathroom to wash.

............

Jingle Bell –

The phone rang urgently, and Ennacillin, who was still holding a paintbrush in his hand, hurried downstairs and picked up the receiver with his still clean left hand:

"Hello. ”

"Hello, this is the Psionic Messenger Association, is Mr. Siam here?"

"I just, what's the matter?"

"Hello Mr. Siam, Mr. Killer Whale has asked me to tell you that the approval of the prison will not come down until tomorrow, and he hopes that you can meet you at the seafood restaurant you frequented most at half past eight tonight. ”

"Okay, I got it. ”

Ernacillin put down the earpiece, the only seafood restaurant he frequented most was the Vognat Boat Restaurant, which Leloa probably told Soun that was a good place to discuss the plan.

Looking up at the wall clock, it was only three o'clock in the afternoon, and Enacillicillin was in no mood to draw after being interrupted by such a beating.

He wanted to follow his father's style and continue to draw the picture book that his father had been serializing. But after countless paintings were wasted, Enercillin finally realized that the picture book was actually over, because it was actually the life of his father Milton.

The album is actually a diary, and the reader has been reading it for so many years, how can he not see that the contents are fabricated? Rather than serializing it in the name of his father, it is better to publish all the manuscripts that have not yet been fully completed and finish them.

Somewhat decadently, Ernacillin put down his paintbrush and returned to the second floor, closing the thick curtains.

He didn't dare to go out of the room now. Every time he walked out of the room, he looked at the house where there were traces of his parents' lives everywhere, how warm his life was in the past, and how painful it was now.

He couldn't help but think of his mother, who was busy selecting high-quality ingredients every day, of his father, who liked to set up a drawing board on the roof of the building to teach him how to draw, and of how he and his father would always try to make his mother happy......

Annecillin inevitably remembered the words from that memoir:

“...... Actually, after all, you killed the whole neighbor on the street, didn't you?"

Yes, in fact, in the final analysis, it's because of yourself.

If it weren't for himself, Joel wouldn't have come to the door, let alone disguised as Crean.

If it weren't for himself, his parents would be fine, his neighbors would be fine, and the real Crean would be fine......

"If I didn't exist...... would they be alive?" Ernacillin muttered to himself.

If that's the case, it's better for him not to exist.

He wandered aimlessly on the second floor, opening and closing unoccupied rooms one after another, but Enacillicillin never dared to open his parents' bedroom doors.

He told himself that his parents were just taking a nap right now, and that they would come out when they woke up, and then sit around the table with him to eat as usual.

When the meal was over, Enaxiline would take all the dolls down and maintain them one by one, while the mother would take out all kinds of needles and threads and fabrics and sew new themed costumes for the children, and the father would draw a new theme background and make props from the background......

In the past, this was just a sparse and ordinary thing, and Ernacillin didn't think that such a life would become a luxury one day in the future.

He only hated himself for not coming back sooner, and only hated that he had been busy with tasks for half a year, if he had made the opposite choice in the ruins that time......

Ernacillin stood stunned, but unfortunately time could not be turned back, from the moment he made his choice, the future had already been set, there was no what if.

Once again, he unscrewed the doorknob in front of him, the room where he had placed the dolls.

Ernacillin walked in, and there was a peculiar smell in the infrequently ventilated room.

The smell seems to be a mixture of the smell of long-stored pages, the smell of wooden furniture, the smell of cloth after the sun has been exposed, the smell of freshly washed clothes, and a little bit of floral.

It was the smell of enacillin, which had been in the house since his parents were still there, but after a few days, the familiar and reassuring smell had completely disappeared.

Eneracillin felt that his nose and eye sockets were starting to pantothenic, and he was afraid that even the smell in this room would disappear, so he hurriedly and carefully closed the door panel again.

Closing the door panel, Enaxiline leaned his back against the door of the room and slowly crouched down, burying his face between his knees.

He felt something choke in his chest, but there wasn't a tear in his eyes.

Ernacillin didn't know what his mood was right now, he felt calm and calm.

But somehow, he wanted to laugh or cry for a while, he wanted to find something to vent, but he wanted to do nothing and just wait here to die.

“...... They died because of you. ”

"It's all your fault!"

"Why? Why? Why? Why are you alive?"

"If you didn't exist, you wouldn't have died so many people. ”

......

Thoughts kept popping up in Eneracylin's mind, and they almost broke down, and he wanted to climb to the top of the building and jump down, and end all the pain as quickly as possible.

But he couldn't.

Before killing Joel, he was not qualified to escape these pains, because the disaster was caused by him, and if it weren't for him, everyone here would be alive and well.

Those who want to live can't live, the damned guy didn't die, and the one who is least qualified to talk about life and death now is Enacylin, who caused all this calamity.