"Let's get a divorce! I'm going to go through the formalities next Monday. The wife said with a blank face.

I really didn't know how to keep it this time, so I looked at my three-year-old son, nodded, and went back to my study alone. The mother on the side wiped her tears at a loss.

Is my family going to break up? Why am I here today? Except for chagrin and resentment, my heart is dead.

This scene kept coming to mind, it turned out to be a dream, and I still had time to save myself, but my tears had wet the pillow.

I thought back to the year 89, when my family moved from a bungalow to a step house.

The new dormitory allocated by the unit has two stairs, one staircase goes up, the office of the unit on the 1st to 3rd floors, and the dormitory for students from the 4th to the 5th floor, which is about 500 square meters and can accommodate hundreds of people. The other staircase goes up to the staff dormitory, and my house is on the fifth floor, the top floor. The student dormitory is not occupied for the time being, and the long aisle connects the student dormitory and the staff dormitory, and playing in the aisle is the joy of my childhood.

My father saw that his neighbor Uncle Wei was also a good coach, and applied to the transportation company to transfer from a shuttle bus driver, and vaguely remembered that when I was literate, I saw my father's transfer application for "son's young", and I didn't understand the meaning of a father at that time.

My father was a reticent man, and he probably didn't want to do it all the time, but he tried to be a coach and teach the students to do the certification. At the same time, he also borrowed money from his neighbor Uncle Wei to buy a Dongfeng or Jiefang brand car, which can pull twenty students in the back. My mother was responsible for taking care of me, helping students submit materials to apply for exams, collecting money, and so on.

Maybe it's because of my arrival, or maybe it's because of my father's responsibility, and my life has finally improved. There are a lot of things added to my home, such as the kind of bicycle used to mend clothes, a green two-layer sound refrigerator, a black and white TV, and a landline phone gradually appeared in my house.

The tuition fee for the student license plate test is not cheap, and I forgot it for too long, but I only remember that if all 20 students pass the examination, there will be an income of nearly 10,000 yuan. Every day, I saw my father holding a straw hat, hanging a kettle full of tea used by the People's Liberation Army, driving a car, and taking the students to the training ground to practice driving.

At that time, I liked to follow my mother to drink tea (Cantonese people are similar to breakfast), and sometimes I would always bring me when I needed to dredge up the relationship, and now I eat the same refreshment, there is no taste of the past, I don't know if the taste has changed or the mentality has changed.

In that long aisle, there are gradually more students who are learning to drive to dry their clothes, playing and chatting. Many of my mother's relatives and my cousin also came to learn how to drive.

On my mother's side, only my aunt came to see me when I was born, and the rest of my mother's relatives came after I moved to a new dormitory. My uncle was reluctant to see my mother marry a brother-in-law older than him, but when he saw my mother's life gradually improve, he slowly accepted it.

My eldest sister also gave birth to a boy when I was 2 years old, a nephew who was 2 years younger than me.

I became an uncle when I was 2 years old.

My mother and sisters gradually became harmonious, and they no longer fought each other as before, and there were no quarrels. But that title has always been so awkward and awkward. The fifth sister is in junior high school and has been living in the school, the second and third sisters have dormitories, and I seem to be a bit like an only child, staying at home by myself.

The eldest sister worked in a textile factory, specializing in blankets, and she was responsible for drawing and designing the pattern style of blankets. After my nephew could walk, he followed behind my butt and we played with cardboard boxes to pull people. I remember that there was not enough house at home at that time, and my little nephew and I slept most in the living room.

In the summer, I turned on the big ceiling fan and slept on the mat. Somehow, we wrapped ourselves in mats and were scolded by my mother for a long time. My father would sometimes give us a few cents to buy snacks, and it was a joy of childhood to eat the snow sticks that my uncle kept warm in a foam box on a roadside day in the summer.

As life gets better and better, it is rare to buy fireworks during the New Year, and the fifth sister and my aunt's cousin set off fireworks on Chinese New Year's Eve, once burning the big tent of the coach car, and later it was also a false alarm.

The fifth sister and my cousin played very well, and the age gap, I couldn't fit in with them. My cousin didn't know if he was hostile to me because of my age or if I was hostile from blood. Although the memory of children at the age of 2-3 is not deep, they can feel whether that person likes them or not.

The days passed uneventfully, interspersed with quarrels between father and mother, and the sisters in the family were afraid of their father's anger, even though the father was usually silent. At that time, I was afraid of quarrels between my parents, which is what children are afraid of. When I got sick, my mother always scolded me. When I was a child, I always felt that my mother was a poor person, and she was beaten and scolded by my father and did not fight back. Later, when I grew up, I understood and knew what kind of person my mother was.

After starting a family, my wife and I will not quarrel in front of our children, hoping to create a good childhood for our children.

Looking through the mobile phone, my son was just born and is now three years old, my heart is mixed, happy from my wife's pregnancy check out by the doctor's "multi-handed" intimidation, jaundice is high and was issued a high-risk notice, stumbling along the way to grow up to three years old;

I admit that I am a failed father because I have done a lot of wrong things and taken the wrong path, and it takes time to make up for it. Every day I always live in a mess, I want to go to the sky, I drop a big pie, take shortcuts, and finally make myself fall all over my body, and even sacrifice the happiness of the whole family.

It turned out that I found myself just a loser. When life is always in a downturn, I can't find someone to talk to. When I was in trouble, I didn't have a close friend around me who could support me, and no one was willing to help me when it came to financial interests. Seeing a short video, someone else posted a sentence in the circle of friends to bow to life, and there will be friends who care about you to ask why and pay directly after understanding.

When I was in my early 20s, my father died. Since then, I have been exploring on my own, and no one has taught me how to deal with and solve the problems of life, so I can only establish my outlook on life and values from the Internet and the people I have come into contact with. Or many people will say that we have worked our own to achieve today's achievements, and we have not lived like you.

I don't know how many people read this book, I just hope that book friends can give me advice and direction.