Yes, I came back from Germany.

As I left, the sun was scorching on Jixiang Road, and when I returned, there were already snowflakes falling here. It turns out that I've been away for so long.

Before I left Germany, I was boating on the Neckar. At that time, the wind of the Bavarian plateau turned the leaves yellow, and the autumn wind wrinkled the surface of the river like a mirror. This situation and this scene will always make people feel a comfortable melancholy.

My aunt bought me a new camel-colored trench coat and let me wear it with a white sweatshirt, and then straight jeans underneath, which can be said to be the standard for high school students here.

Intentionally or unintentionally, my aunt always dressed me in a direction that was more in line with the aesthetics here. I looked at the girl in the mirror, still so flat, but with a bit of a European academy style.

When Caroline married Kaka, she was just an eighteen-year-old high school student. When I was wrapped in a clumsy down jacket like a bearskin and eating ravioli by the briquette stove, Caroline was dressed in a preppy style, exuding the graceful charm of a girl's over-woman's beauty.

I used to envy her immensely, and I longed for our daily outfits to be so simple and elegant, no longer covering the air of youth with bloated school uniforms...... Wearing the new clothes my aunt bought for me, I can make this dream come true.

But after putting it on, I wasn't as happy as I thought. I didn't know what I was fighting about, so I put on my new clothes and went to the Neckar, and thought about life like Mr. No.

A bearded uncle was untying his yacht, and I looked at him intently. Uncle spoke something in German, and I shook my head like a rattle to show that I didn't understand. Then I laughed at him.

Uncle immediately switched to very fluent English, but my English was also very bad, and I could only continue to laugh awkwardly, laughing so much that my cheeks hurt.

But I understood, and my uncle wanted to invite me to take the boat with me. I shook my head and refused: "I don't have any money, only this." ”

After that, I pulled out a lollipop, which was grape-flavored, and I was reluctant to eat it.

The uncle laughed and motioned for me to give him the lollipop, and then he took me by the hand and pulled me to the boat. I didn't understand any of the German he spoke (or possibly other languages), and in return I spoke Chinese to him.

"I want to stay here, but it's a bit of a no-brainer, and I'm not sure. If you get it too easily, you won't cherish it. ”

"It's good that people don't have to make choices, and maybe the life they are arranged will be different. ”

The uncle blinked at me, then burst into a wild laugh and threw me a life jacket. After I got dressed, he started the boat. He stood at the bow of the boat and sang, but I couldn't understand what he was singing.

After the boat had sailed away, I met my aunt, who was waving anxiously at me on the shore, as if to tell me to come back quickly. Oh, I didn't know this uncle, so I ran away with someone's yacht, and only paid a lollipop for the ticket...... I'm really bold.

My aunt was still waving to me, and I remembered my grandmother in my hometown. On a summer afternoon, I went to catch fish in the river with my friends, and my grandmother stood on the ink river and waved at me, just like my aunt now. She wouldn't let me catch the fish, she was afraid that something would happen to me, so she desperately shouted my name.

I also think of my mom and dad at the Port City airport. To them, I was the most inconspicuous of the three children, and I thought they would send me away with pleasure, but the moment I walked into customs, I saw them snuggling up to each other and almost breaking their arms. They...... You can't bear me, right?

Their figures kept overlapping with those of my aunt on the shore, and then I cried. I was so emotional that I spoke a lot of Chinese to my uncle.

"My mom has a bad temper and my dad is poor, but I still miss them. Why am I so unproductive, I just want to go home!"

Maybe it's because this uncle can't understand Chinese, so I can open my heart without scruples.

I miss my grandma, I miss my mom and dad. After leaving Heidelberg, I will definitely miss my aunt again, but in a different sense. For me, Dalijia Village and Gangcheng are my hometowns, but Heidelberg is not.

That day at Heidelberg Castle, I met a young lady from England who was studying abroad. She wore a traditional dress I had never seen before, Hanfu, and she said that she did not regard Beijing as her hometown, but that the small city where her mother came from was her hometown.

People's perception of "hometown" is probably that there are the most memorable people there and the most memorable things that have happened!

I cried sadly, and my aunt on the shore became more and more blurred. The uncle who drove the boat asked me why I was crying, and this time I expressed it clearly in English - homesick.

My uncle sang me an old German ballad. I don't know what kind of song it is, but it must be a homesick song!

In the evening, I ended my wanderings on the Neckar and returned to my aunt's house. My aunt was waiting for me on the shore, and she blamed me for being defenseless, and not afraid of being taken captive.

I said, I'm so cute, the bad guys can't bear to do it.

My aunt smiled: "That's true. ”

My aunt loves me from the bottom of her heart and lives overseas all the year round, and her desire for family affection goes without saying. She often said that if she had a child just after getting married, her child would be about the same age as me.

My aunt treated me like an older child and did not shy away from telling me about her three marriages.

My aunt's first husband was Chinese and an actress (still active in the drama industry). The two of them were college classmates and joined the drama club together. The aunt writes the script, and he plays the leading role. My aunt said that he was very handsome, handsome enough to cover up all his shortcomings.

After graduating from university, they decided to study together in Germany, where the aunt wanted to devote himself to literature and modern German aesthetics, and the uncle was a big fan of the theater master Brecht and wanted to learn about Brecht's acting genre. That uncle's family was well-off enough to pay for two people to study abroad.

The aunt took the uncle back to her hometown, and the grandmother did not agree to the marriage at all. She could see at a glance that her uncle was an artistic madman, not a "mortal" who lived a life. Moreover, grandma said that the difference between the two families is too great, and the aunt is completely at a disadvantage, and grandma doesn't want her aunt to climb this high branch at all, she just hopes that her aunt will find a down-to-earth and hard-working young man and live this life peacefully.

Faced with the obstruction of her family, her aunt's stubbornness completely exploded, and she cut off relations with her family to pursue her so-called love and art. But when they arrived in Germany and lived together, the problem was completely exposed. That uncle can't help but have a serious habit of artistic cleanliness, the eldest young master is full of style, and has a serious tendency to violence.

One time my aunt went to see him and tactfully pointed out that his performance was too abstract, and the uncle was furious and excitedly asked her if she understood art. At that time, he was on the street, and his aunt didn't want to quarrel with him, but he yelled at his aunt, and even pulled his aunt's hair, attracting passers-by to watch. Finally, under the persuasion of passers-by, the uncle let go of his hand.

After this conflict, the uncle's potential for violence completely exploded, and he started every once in a while, and even insulted his aunt's work as shit. My aunt was desperate when she was rejected for her manuscript, and she was even more disheartened by his sneering.

After two years of such pain, my aunt finally couldn't help but get a divorce. The uncle felt that his aunt was poor and had no courage to leave him. But my aunt applied to the creative department of a school, and found a job as a waiter, so she divorced the man neatly.

In this way, my aunt went to school, worked part-time, and wrote, and was often so tired that she had nosebleeds. Later, I met my second uncle, Mr. Nuo. Mr. Nuo went to eat at that restaurant, and fell in love with Juanxiu's aunt at first sight, so he launched a fierce attack.

The romance of the Germans is also a serious and rigorous romance, and when Mr. Noe gave his aunt roses, he also wrote a passage from Heidegger, because Heidegger once gave a famous example of roses. My aunt was eventually impressed by him and lived with him.

At that time, my aunt had been writing for four or five years, and there was still no improvement, and when she was about to give up writing, she met Mr. No. Mr. Noe provided her with a comfortable living environment, and she was able to create without any worries. It was also during that period that my aunt suddenly became well-known and became the hottest writer in Europe.

Later, the reason for the separation of the two, Sydney Da has already said before, the pure concept of disagreement, and they broke up peacefully.

"Maybe it's because fame and fortune come so quickly that I lose myself...... If I had tolerated at the time, I wouldn't have been so impulsive. "My aunt drank red wine and said these things to me.

Later, my aunt met her third husband, a well-known conductor, and the two quickly got married, but with the conductor's cheating, they quickly divorced. My aunt was completely dead set on marriage, but she didn't expect me to appear and pull Mr. Nuo back to her.

I feel very sorry for my aunt, but I am also very puzzled, why didn't she tell her second brother, that is, my father, who had suffered so much

What about bitterness?

My aunt said: "When facing the people closest to us, our stubbornness and self-esteem come with the least reason. I also know that if I tell my father, I will have a much better life, but I can't open my mouth...... No matter how close the siblings were when they were young, they will become estranged after they have their own families. I was also worried that even if I told my dad, what would change? A few years ago, when I was in my third divorce, your dad called me for a long time. At that time, I realized that the so-called relatives do not exist to change anything about you, and the meaning of their existence is to be on the edge of the most helpless cliff and become the way you can retreat...... Thinking that there is still this path in my life, I am not afraid of anything. ”

See, this is the thinking and eloquence of a female writer, which I don't fully understand. But I think that the big thing my aunt said is about the true portrayal of "family is the strongest backing"!

I also confessed to my aunt that I wanted to go home. Although the University of Heidelberg is very good, and although the high school girls here are dressed stylishly, I still want to go back to the single-plank bridge for the college entrance examination, wearing bloated school uniforms, and shuttling through the noisy alleys.

Auntie's expression quickly dimmed: "What are you going to do...... Can I keep you?"

"Auntie, when I had a tumor in my leg, I prayed to Heaven and wrote down ten wishes. If the tumor is benign, after I recover, I will spend my life pursuing those ten wishes. ”

"Auntie, it's good here, and you're good, but going to university in Heidelberg is never within those ten wishes...... No, maybe one, because I want to have an unforgettable trip before I turn twenty. This time in Heidelberg can be said to be the most beautiful journey. I am grateful to you, thank you for fulfilling this dream of mine. ”

"Auntie, maybe you will think that I am very dead and do not know how to cherish this hard-won opportunity...... But I think people should keep their promises, both between people and between people and God. The probability of benign and malignant tumors accounts for half of them, and since God didn't let me get malignant, I have to abide by the agreement with it. ”

My aunt was speechless for a while, she touched my head and said, "Linlin, you will have a great future." ”

I'm embarrassed, I didn't think I could be more productive, I just wanted to be a worthy person.

I don't know why my aunt wants to keep me by her side so much, is it out of guilt for the Qiao family, or is she afraid of a bleak evening?

My aunt told me that she really wanted to compensate for the Qiao family and atone for the sins she had committed against the family. But then he just liked me very simply, and as long as I was there, the family was very happy.

I believed what my aunt said, and I could feel that she really liked me. Because she has begun to conceive a new life, but she still tries her best to keep me by her side.

I whispered the news to my dad, who immediately had an attack in his pupils. I said, "It's been almost two months, the last time I went to the hospital with my aunt, I heard the little one's heartbeat, and my aunt was so happy that she couldn't stop crying. ”

It must have been the night that Mr. Noe invited his aunt to dinner, and the little angel came quietly. Mr. Nuo is over half a hundred years old and has long given up his dream of becoming a father, while his aunt has been bruised by several failed test tubes, and has also broken off the idea of being a mother. Unexpectedly, after they let go of everything, God gave them a most precious gift.

I heard my aunt go to church and pray, and she said that she had finally washed away all her sins and that Heaven was no longer tormenting her. And it was because of the "adoption" of me that she was cleared of her sins. Therefore, she and Mr. Nuo unanimously decided to keep me by my side and be doubly good to me.

However, I refused their kindness and I returned to China. I knew that if I passed the college entrance examination, I would never have been able to go to a good school like Heidelberg University. Maybe I'll lose this battle, but I won't allow myself to surrender without even trying.

I will remember the ten wishes I wrote down at that time, which were the things I most longed to do on the precipice of life. Just because we have been reborn, we can't forget the most urgent original intention at that time. It takes courage to give up a privileged life, and it takes courage to face challenges. Courage is not available to everyone, and I want to be a courageous person.

So, I just heeded my heart's call and went back to this little alley, back to my family. When my dad hugged me, he wouldn't have known that the little tattoo on my ankle was shining—

Family is my poer.

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