Maybe this is something to be proud of, maybe it's also helpless, I owed the Chinese teacher a heart-to-heart talk back then, and today I use some words to talk about comfort.

Suddenly, I crossed the long river of time and came to the year of fighting in the third year of high school.

He is our Chinese teacher, surnamed Xu, until now I only remember his surname Xu, I have always had a bad memory, the teacher in high school did not leave much impression on me, not that I was too ruthless, but the heart was too small, I couldn't pretend too much, I had a love, and I lost everything. And after losing that love, if you want to recall the past, it will be as ethereal as a green cloud.

Fortunately, I still remember the Chinese teacher, who left a great impression on me in the first class of high school, because he was really a bit of a showman, and he actually spent a class talking about the various meanings of his surname "Xu", of course, this also made us a lot of help in learning classical Chinese in the future.

I had nothing to do with him, because my presence was so low that he would not have imagined many years later that such a student would use words to record that no-show.

I think if he knew, he would probably have sighed, because my Chinese skills were really limited when I was in school, and I had never written too beautiful sentences for him to show in class, and my Chinese grades were not very good. But now he has become half a literary worker, and there is some literature and art and hypocrisy that cannot be erased.

If I want to say that the no-show, it was after a mock exam in the third year of high school, I have always had mediocre grades, so I don't have the attention of the teachers, I also enjoy the blandness, if I play well, maybe I can go to an average university, and his invitation actually made my flat heart tremble a little, but it was only tremor, because I didn't go to the appointment.

The evening self-study time is from 7 to 10 o'clock in the evening, and at 9 o'clock there will be a wave of students who do not live on campus to go home, and I always insist until 10 o'clock. The first two hours of the three hours will be supervised by the teacher, or explain the exercises, or share stories, or study safely, and the last hour is also arranged by everyone, so that you can go home and continue to study on your own.

If I remember correctly, it should have been Monday, he carried a book into the classroom, walked around and let us study on our own, and started to read by ourselves, but during the break in the middle hall, he called my name and said that he had something to say to me.

When the bell rang for the second self-study class, I didn't have the courage, and I was as brave as when the class ended, I peeked at him carefully, he was still flipping through his thick book, I could be sure that it was not a textbook, hesitated for a whole class, I was a little uneasy, often he looked up, imagining that he could meet his gaze, give me a strength, so that I could stand up, go to the front desk to greet him, and ask: Teacher, what are you looking for me?

But after all, it was missed, whatever it was.

On the second day of Chinese class, I was asked by him to translate an ancient text that I couldn't even read, and finally I was "humiliated" well, at that time I would think that he was not a saint, and it was so obvious that he was happy and sad, but when he called my name in front of the whole class, and talked about my no-show yesterday, I actually thought he was a little cute, because he has always been lovely.

In the future, I often think about that incident, if I had gone to him at that time, would he have comforted me and let me move forward, after all, he is already a little old man over half a hundred years old, and he can see it better than me, maybe after that conversation, I will turn into a butterfly and start my writing career one step earlier.

After the college entrance examination, I didn't contact him, and I haven't had the opportunity to ask about that year for many years, maybe he has forgotten it, so he buried it in my heart and took root.

Today, many years later, I would like to say: Teacher Xu is well!

I have no regrets, because I missed it, so I understand.