We belong to rivals as well as to friends. Children's games are nothing more than those games chased by a large group of children, but the chase between me and him may be more intense, we compete for the right to answer the questions named by the teacher in class, the exam is competing for who will be the first and who will be the second, and after class, we are chasing who is the winner of this game like classmates. Children are so simple, nothing more than their own competitiveness and refusal to admit defeat. He likes to play chess, I like to play chess with him, not because he likes to change the rules, his elephant always crosses the river before me, because I never knew that the elephant could cross the river, he said that chess was his, and he said that he could. His soldiers can also take my army, because I don't know if they can leave the palace. Then I quarreled with him, and at that time computers were not so common, and we started to quarrel endlessly, so there was one more person among us who played an important role, and he was with me every year in our own way remembering the friend who had left us.

So in my life, he may just be an ordinary passerby. I remember him, maybe out of guilt, it should have been at first, but later on, it seemed to have become a habit.

In the last chase between him and me, I won and he was out.

We have been betting on who can go to a better junior high school and who can shine in the elementary school graduation exam, and under the pressure of the graduating class, my weekends were filled with four cram schools, and on Saturdays and Sundays, there were exactly four. In order to win him, I applied for all the junior high schools that could be applied for in the city, and it was a great honor to be able to study in the city in our small county. On Thursday, April 29, I took a leave of absence because I had to go to Guilin to take exams at one of the schools, and my mother went with me. The next day, it was the day of my exam, at six o'clock in the morning, a phone call will wake us up in advance while waiting for the alarm in our sleep, my mother let me continue to sleep after the phone call as usual, and told me that it was just some encouragement and encouragement given to me by the head teacher, so that I could have a good rest, after all, there were only two hours left in the exam. The exams for elementary school are really easy now, and I can complete all the subjects in one day. When I felt good and started thinking about how to show off to him, my mother tentatively said to me, 'You might lose a classmate when you go to school this week.' I naturally pretended to be very old and told her, "I know, our homeroom teacher told those students who didn't do well to dissuade them." Later, she said no, she said that Lai Li Jin was gone. That's right, his name is Lai Li Jin. That's right, the mother used the word "gone" instead of that. I asked my mother where he had transferred, because he was about to go on to higher education, and it was extremely stupid to transfer at this time. Later, my mother still said that word, and I had mixed feelings, but I couldn't respond. My mother lied to me, and the call in the morning was actually from his mother asking for the number of the head teacher.

I played a meaningless game by myself, there was no win, loss, no opponent, maybe the game was not important to me at that time, the only thing that was important to me at that time was whether I could turn back time, whether I could look at him again, let me finish what I didn't say. The important thing is why I can't predict what will happen in the future, and according to them, they also made an appointment to play games together the next day because it was a Friday after school.

Back at school on Monday, the atmosphere in the class was like a script, with the chatter and bustle of copying assignments, and only a few small groups that usually played together lying on the tables, yes, we all got the news. I didn't know why my mood calmed down so quickly, just like four years ago, my grandmother suddenly told me that my cousin was gone, and my mother went to take care of the funeral for her, and my sadness, sadness, happiness, and so on would not last more than half an hour. When the morning reading bell rang, the head teacher stepped on the bell like a bird to enter the classroom and walk to the podium. We didn't read early, and she didn't let us read early, as usual: 'Announce one thing to you, our classmate Lai Lijin can't be the same as you in the future......' I didn't hear the rest, although I already knew the news, but I still couldn't adapt to the sudden living classmate who had made an appointment to play a game and laugh with you the day before, suddenly disappeared as if the delete key had been entered, without warning. It must be God's computer malfunctioning. After the news was announced, the students basically lay on the table, and the sound of sobbing came out of the situation. The class teacher still asked us to read in the morning, and the class leader was always the class leader, and in this kind of low morale, he could still quickly cheer up and lead us to read in the morning, although the whole twenty minutes were like a chorus of mourning. The teacher of the day also seemed to be very tolerant of us, and his attitude towards our decadent and negative learning was no longer as strict as before.

Children are always forgetful, and the next day no one knows how sad and sad they were the day before, whether they should play or play, and who should study or study. On the contrary, I, without competitors, I don't know for a moment what the meaning of what I want to learn, I don't know whether what I'm doing is right or wrong, I can't tolerate myself in this situation still self-righteous to make a choice that others think is the best for a so-called competition of my own, I don't know for what reason or some feelings that I can't say, in short, I just feel that his departure has nothing to do with me, but what I did should not be at this time. I was so disappointed in myself.

His dark skin, sharp nails, snow-white teeth, and excellent grades have become the last memories he left for us. And he also left me a gift that I was confused about every April. ”

She rested her head on my shoulder: "Then why don't you go and see him, his grave, on the day of his death." I poured myself another big sip of wine: "I can't go, since that night, his parents have moved, and his mobile phone number has been changed, and I don't know where he is buried." She raised her head as if she wanted to say something, but she leaned her head back on my shoulder, and I sighed: "I've looked for it, I've been looking for it for the past twenty years, every time I have a class reunion, I ask them if they have any news of him, and every time Qingming I ask my friends to help me pay attention to see if the name will be written on the grave I pass by, but this is undoubtedly looking for a needle in a haystack." ”

She shuddered, and then hugged her knees and curled up. I pulled out a tissue, dried her feet, and put my shoes on her. She just stared at me through it all, and my size forty-three shoes looked wide on her feet. I stood up and said, "Let's go, let's go back." She grabbed her shoes and shuffled after me. When we left the embankment and walked onto the Jiefang Bridge, we saw that the sky in the distance had already turned white, but it was clear that the sky above our heads was still dark.

She looked very tired, and followed me with her head down, and I suddenly stopped, and she didn't pay attention, so she bumped into my back, and I crouched down: "Come up, silly boy." She was not polite to me, but she got up, and I took her shoes from her hand, and carried her home. She fell asleep after a while, and the sound of even breathing came from her back, and I shook my head.

Walking downstairs to the breakfast shop, I woke her up: "Wake up, eat breakfast, do you still have to go to class later." She woke up with only one eye: "Ah, where is this?" I didn't answer her, she looked around with her eyes, "Oh, I'm home, boss, I want a bowl of two." After saying that, he found a seat and sat down.

I looked at the girl lying on her stomach and felt a very uncomfortable feeling in my heart. I don't like to owe anything to anyone, or I'm a stubborn person, and I can easily fall into a kind of self-imposed pain. But I don't want to, but I always inadvertently owe a lot. Rollo said to me, "He certainly doesn't want you to do that." "Perhaps, but if memories are not used for recollection, then what is the meaning of memories?

30 April 2018

I was still like a lonely ghost, wandering aimlessly in the streets late at night, and Rollo followed me with dark circles under his eyes as he did yesterday.

"Go back to sleep. I turned to her. When she saw me turn her head, she walked quickly to me, put her hands behind her back, lowered her head and said aggrievedly: "If you don't go back, I'm worried about you." I turned and walked on: "Then you can follow." "She jumped up to me like a child with a favorite toy, holding me by the cuffs.

We came to a wholesale market, the dilapidated archway at the entrance of the market, the iron shelves have long been rusted, but it does not affect the people in the archway. She stared at the archway suspiciously and asked me, "What are we doing here, do you want to buy anything?" I didn't answer her, and walked in with her.

It was half past two in the morning, and we walked all the way, and there were few people on the road, and every time I walked through a place where there was no street light or darkness, she grabbed my sleeve, and the wholesale market at this time was already full of people.

In an inconspicuous shop, the shop was dimly lit, it was a yellow wattle bulb, the walls were peeling off and some traces of water leakage were revealing the age of the house, a bloated aunt and a skinny but muscular uncle lifted a snakeskin bag of peanuts and poured them into a machine, I walked into the shop and stood by and watched, Rollo also stood beside me like a curious baby, and asked me in a low voice, "What are they doing here?" I looked at her and didn't answer her. My aunt and uncle poured all the peanuts in the snakeskin bag into the machine, and my aunt turned around and asked me, "Little brother, do you want to buy oil?" I nodded and pointed to a five-liter jug: "I want a five-liter jug." "My aunt skillfully filled me with five liters of oil from a large iron bucket. We walked out of the shop with the pot in hand, and she pointed to the pot in my hand and asked, "Is this the oil I understand?" I replied, "Didn't you smell it just now?" She asked again: "The environment of the small workshop is so dirty, is this oil hygienic?" I smiled: "You just saw her poor environment, but it was not dirty, you see that aunt, when she squeezed oil, she was wearing gloves and masks, and the machine and iron bucket were as bright as mirrors, although the house was old and dilapidated, but there was no spider web, do you think this oil is hygienic or unhygienic?"