I took Luo Luo to the amusement park, because she was on vacation, Li Yuanze was also on vacation, Li Yuanze said that he had never been there, Luo Luo also looked at me with pleading eyes, and it just so happened that I was also childlike.

drove for more than an hour, and along the way, Luo Luo and Li Yuanze were eating various snacks and fried chicken, and they sang with Bluetooth on, and had a lot of fun in the back row. Entering the amusement park, the two of them felt like they had entered their own world, looking at the map of the amusement park, pointing to different measures, and threatening to play them all. In the huge amusement park, one day is naturally not enough, we stayed in the hotel next to the amusement park, opened a family suite, and as soon as Luo Luo entered the room, he looked at me with a smile: "In the future, we have children, and we are so happy." Li Yuanze stood at the door and shuddered: "Hey, you better let me go in and put on the quilt, I don't want to see you show affection." ”

There are three beds, I sleep in the middle, Luo Luo sleeps near the toilet, she feels insecure by the window, and Li Yuanze also likes the position by the window, he said that the scenery is good. As soon as I closed my eyes, Luo Luo opened his mouth and asked, "Can you sleep?" Li Yuanze got up excitedly: "Why don't we have supper?" I closed my eyes and ignored the two of them, Luo Luo smashed the pillow against me: "Don't pretend to be asleep, I have a question for you." I opened my eyes and looked at her, she hugged another pillow and looked at me curiously: "Aren't you afraid?" I asked rhetorically, "What are you afraid of?" She put her chin on the pillow and said, "Today in the haunted house, Yuan Ze and I are scared to death, and you are still looking around like a curious baby." I shrugged my shoulders: "That's all fake, what's so scary, not to mention that even if it's real, ghosts can be terrifying?" Li Yuanze also asked like Luo Luo: "Uncle, are you afraid?" I looked at the lamp on the ceiling and slowly spoke: "Yes." Rollo leaned closer and asked, "Yes, after being together for so long, I thought you were omnipotent." ”

I looked at her and smiled, "I'm afraid of you, tigress." She slammed the pillow she was holding on to my face and laughed, "Who's the tigress?" I threw the pillow over to her, and she asked, "Seriously, you're not afraid." I looked away from the lamp and turned to look at her: "I'm afraid of cats, I'm afraid of mice." Li Yuanze said in surprise: "No, uncle, you big man is afraid of these!"

I smiled, turned my head to look at the lamp and said slowly: "On the way home from elementary school, I will pass by the hospital, and there is a garden in the hospital that is not very big and not very small, surrounded by young trees that are twice as tall as me at that time, full of branches with teeth and claws, and some purple ducks and grasses below. When I was a child, I was very hyperactive, and my mother took me to the hospital for an examination of ADHD, which was caused by lead poisoning, and I loved to follow the tractor to suck car exhaust. At that time, I liked to walk against the wall and draw the wall with these gadgets. Walking to the outer wall of the far corner of the garden, I heard a slight commotion inside, and through the iron fence that had been pried open, I saw only a white cat with royal blue eyes, and it shivered at the sight of my arrival. I had never seen such a clear blue, pure, so bright that all the blues I saw afterwards became white. I have long forgotten what a cat is, and later I was afraid of cats, and even though I liked to have pets, I never dared to learn about cats. When I picked it up, it had one of its front paws wounded, and it seemed to have a scab scar on the corner of its mouth, and it was covered in mud and fallen leaves. It was very well-behaved in my arms, no more screaming in the garden, no more shivering when it saw me. I stroked its dirty, yet supple fur. To be honest, it was still really heavy for me at that time, and it was usually only a twenty-minute walk home, but I walked for forty minutes. When I arrived at the door, I was like I had just taken a newly bought remote-controlled plane to show off to my classmates at school, thinking that I could get praise or see my mother's relieved smile, but I didn't expect to be stopped by my mother in a hurry, of course, playing remote-controlled planes at school will definitely be confiscated. After asking me where the cat came from, I was told to take it away after I explained it to her at 1510. I was as well-behaved as it was in my arms, and I carried it and accompanied my mother downstairs. The mood at the time, I also forgot, anyway, it's not happy or sad, it should be full of questions, maybe it's just a wooden follow behind my mother, one step, two steps, towards my unknown road, it's in my arms, the occasional "meow" sound, as if following me, towards its unknown road. When I listened to my mother and put it on the side of the road again, it cried again, at me, as I had when I found it, and stared at me like that, pleading, longing. I looked into its eyes, the source of the nightmare that had haunted me for twelve years. I began to be a little reluctant and began to be sad, but I didn't dare to refute, my mother said that what the elders said was right, because the elders crossed the bridge more than I ate salt, neither my parents nor teachers would say anything bad about me, and I always thought that this sentence was right at the age of eight, but I was wondering how to calculate how much salt I ate. But my mother also said that you should have love. When I got to the top of the stairs and knew I couldn't see it, I asked my mother why we couldn't leave it, and she said that there was a taboo on our side, "cats come to be poor, dogs come to be rich". When I was young, I never questioned that my mother must have her reason for doing this, and she must be right, and I didn't dwell on it anymore. Later I found out that I was wrong, and I lost it, and it seems that I lost a little, but I never remembered it, and I never found it again. I'm a very cowardly person, and sometimes when I'm forced to make a choice because of my lack of persistence, concessions, and retreat, those blue eyes come to mind. Although now I have my own life, I am beginning to know what I want and what I should do, even if I have insisted on what I want, but in countless nights of sleep, it will still stare at me, questioning me, why can't I save it, why can't I accompany it, why I give it hope but give it despair. I know, I know, I know, I know, I caught a vine in the swamp and found it to be a forest worm, and in the quicksand, I caught the saxon grass and it became a tumbleweed. Maybe it didn't turn out so badly, but I saw my results. Perhaps, I have erased its last hope and confidence in humanity. ”

Rollo said softly, "Actually, maybe it's doing well? It was brought back by someone like you, and it must be very happy." I shook my head: "Maybe." Li Yuanze asked again: "What about the mouse?" I looked at him and smiled: "At one o'clock in the morning that day, I had just gotten off work, and it was a little breezy and a little cool. There were few people and sparse cars along the way, and I was walking on the avenue again, with bright lights and faint headlights. When I came back, I brought a supper at a supper stall on the side of the road, and I was full of joy. After buying a supper, I hummed a song and sped up the car. There were always a lot of rats in the garbage pit downstairs, and I always had to slow down every night when I came back from work, and I could only pull into the garage when their rampaging meal time was over, because it was not far away, but it was twenty or thirty meters, and they avoided me, a late-night visitor. I just got a salary increase and a salary, and I was really happy that night, ignoring this huge family that has lived here for a long time. Suddenly, the wheels slipped, and I was startled and hurriedly braked and turned around. It was already twitching on all fours on the ground. Somehow, an indescribable emotion welled up in my heart, like Naruda smashed in the face of the town of Kansai, and like the white cloth that had entered the dye vat. Maybe its family is waiting for it to get some food from its hordes of companions tonight, or maybe it's in the prime of life, like me, and bragging about the half of the meat it found last night. It's just a mouse, and everyone hates it, maybe I'm too emotional, or maybe it's it that makes me know how pathetic I am. I know I'm a contradiction. Yesterday on Weibo, I saw a British woman doing performance art on the street, telling everyone about the production of cosmetics, behind the suffering of animals, and the comments also have their own opinions, some I don't dare to agree, some people say that the progress of human beings and the increase in life expectancy are how many animals sacrifice in the experiment, when we live a bad life, seeing them is like a treasure, when life is good, they begin to protect and sympathize. We can eat the meat on the table while calling for the protection of animals, and the part of meat that is called meat, such as chickens, ducks, fish, pigs, sheep and cattle. And it's the wildlife that's free. We can divide animals into edible and inedible while shouting that all life is equal. So far, I rarely go to the live stock market, and I can't bear to see the pitiful eyes of those meat dogs, nor can I bear to see the panicked looks of the meat rabbits. But I'll eat dog meat and drink beer in the summer, and I'll roast whole sheep and rabbits at barbecue parties. Maybe this mouse, I saw how selfish and ridiculous I was. I can comfort myself with Darwin's ridiculous theory of evolution after every mistake or after hurting others, and I can choose the fittest to survive, but I know how unbearable I am, I can fool everyone but not my own heart. I can be kind to an insignificant mouse, and I can be a great Virgin, but I can't be any nicer to the people around me. Perhaps, I am not qualified to have compassion for a mouse, and what is the difference between a person like me who lives in the world? Or maybe, in the eyes of others, I will be the more ridiculous one, not as good as it. Maybe I'm not sympathetic to it at all, but more like sympathetic to myself. ”

After saying that, I got up: " I'm afraid to see a cat because those blue eyes will always stare at me inadvertently, and I'm afraid of mice because every time I see a mouse, I think of the mouse that I run over and twitch constantly, I'm actually very afraid that my appearance will bring trouble and pain to others, once I cause inconvenience to others, my cat and mouse are like nightmares, always in front of me, constantly emerging, especially the blue pupils, the pupils that keep staring at me, so blue, but so deep, so beautiful, but make me afraid. ”