At seven o'clock in the evening, the lights of the bar came on, and Luo Luo also stepped on the point to come to the bar, her eyes were still dull, and she didn't pay attention to the landlord who greeted her when she entered the bar, just silently went to the bathroom on the second floor to change clothes, silently walked to the stage, picked up the microphone, and clicked on the accompaniment.

Can you let me go with you?

Since you said I couldn't keep you

The way back was a bit dark

Worry will leave you alone

It was Chen Sheng's "Keep the Sadness to Yourself", after singing, he sang Mayday's "Tenderness", Lin Youjia's "Waste", it was such a sad song all night, and the landlord walked into the bar during the period and poked me jokingly: "Look at you, hurt others." ”

The hour hand of the retro clock turned to nine o'clock, and Luo Luo's last song was Tian Fuzhen's "Don't You Think of Me", after singing, she silently went to the bathroom to change her clothes, and then just came to the bar and said quietly to the landlord: "I have a class tomorrow morning, I'll go back first." The landlord nodded, but just admonished: "Slow down on the road." ”

At this time, Jiang Xiaoxin was already sitting next to a few girls to play dice with him, I walked next to him, kicked his feet, gave him a look, and he reluctantly followed the girls and said, "You play first, I'll be back soon." ”

I walked outside the bar with him, looking at the back of Luo Luo who was walking towards the community, Jiang Xiaoxin handed me a cigarette: "The girl is good, she is a good girl, in fact, the landlord is right, if you meet this kind of woman, cherish it." I looked at him, "What about you? Can you still say such things to me?" and he smiled, "Haven't I ever met a girl like this?" After saying that, he shook his head helplessly. I patted him on the shoulder: "The mountains have trees and branches, and the heart is happy and you don't know." ”

The landlord brought out three bottles of wine, walked up to us, and the three of them looked at each other and smiled, and touched: "Come, do it!"

The appearance of Xiaoyu was unexpected to me, and I am a person who is extremely poor at handling feelings. When Xiaoyu appeared, I felt that my mind drifted back to ten years ago, when he was not a young man of eighteen years old.

Xiaoyu is Momo's ex-girlfriend and my ex-girlfriend. Momo broke up with her in her sophomore year of high school, she repeated her studies, gambled on her senior year of high school, and Momo also chose to drop out of school after breaking up with her. She was a senior in high school, an art student, and came to Guilin from the county town to study. It was still Christmas Eve, and I sent her a family bucket from KFC and a 1.8-meter-tall doll, which I hadn't seen for a long time. Because when we were chatting on social media, I said that I was still the president of literature that year, and she was the president of the anime next door, and I mixed into the party of their anime club on Christmas Eve on the grounds that "clubs and clubs should walk around and learn from each other", and she handed me an apple, which she said was the first apple she gave away, and I teased her at the time why she didn't give it to Momo first, she just told me that they had broken up.

I remember that apple because it was also the first Christmas Eve apple I received as a child.

I still remember what she looked like that day, I wore a windbreaker and scarf, dragged a friend to accompany me, and delivered the big doll and KFC to the door of her studio.

When she appeared, she was wearing a black coat, the coat was very long, and she was firmly wrapped, she was also wrapped in a scarf, and a black knitted hat, her hands were in the pockets of her coat, and when she was not tall, she looked like a walking black square when she looked at it from a distance, in fact, when she looked closely, it was really a walking black square, she only showed her eyes, and her nose and mouth were also deeply hidden under the scarf. She was wearing a lot of inside, because she looked very bloated, I reached out and handed her the family bucket, and she reached out to take it, and then I realized that she was still wearing black gloves. I handed her the bucket and blew on my hands, and she asked me, "Are you cold?" At that time, I was just friends with her, so naturally I wouldn't be polite to her: "Of course, you blow and see." She thought for a moment, took off her gloves and handed them to me, and I shook my hand: "No, I'll go back right away." After saying that, I called my friend who was standing not far away and brought the big doll, to be honest, I didn't have any "romantic" thoughts when I gave her such a huge doll, but I just wanted to make fun of her height.

She took the doll and the family bucket, and after a few pleasantries, she said she was going back to the studio. She went back to the studio, I should have left, my friend and I turned around and left, she put down the doll and smiled and waved at me: "Bye!" I also turned around and wanted to wave at her, but the problem arose this time.

That look made me feel mixed and had a very strange feeling that drove me to hug her, to give her my warmth on a cold day. I still smiled and waved to her, and after saying goodbye, I went back to my apartment, and I kept repeating that feeling in my heart, my desire broke through my reason, my hands and feet began to become uncomfortable, my heart began to be like a mess, I could clearly hear my heartbeat and breathing, I panicked.

When we were chatting on social media on Christmas Day, I asked her if there was anything in particular she wanted to do, and she said, "I hope to get into the school I want to go to next time in my art exam, what about you?" and I said to her, "I want to find a mistletoe and put it on top of your head so I can kiss you properly, and please stay away from any tree until I show up." She just replied, "You're kidding again." I was silent for a moment, because since she and Momo broke up, we often laughed at each other for not wanting each other, and then often said that we were responsible for each other and something like that, so when she took this time as a joke, I didn't know how to reply to her, and after a long time, I just silently typed: "This time, it's serious." She didn't answer for a long time, and finally gave me an answer: "I know." ”

I was a little overjoyed, and I asked her, "Then we are together?" and she gave me another sorry.

I didn't reply to any of her messages until one day, when my friend and I wanted to get together and decided to go to the restaurant. When we walked to the door of the restaurant, I saw a back, very similar to hers, I only felt that my eyes were black, my head was blank, my legs were weak, and then I fell to the ground, my friend hurriedly ran to help me up, and the restaurant brought me a glass of sugar water, and I slowed down for a long time before I took back control of my body. I texted her that night asking if she had been here, and she denied it, and I nodded, but there was no reply.

She took the initiative to come to me, many times, and asked me why I didn't look for her, and I told her, "I thought you hated me." Because every time I wanted to ask her out to play, she refused me, and since that time, she has been a little cold to me, she said she just wants to study hard, I said I can wait for her, I said to her, "I will be very well-behaved, if you don't want me to disturb you, I will wait for you quietly." "She told me not to wait for her, and she said we weren't suitable. Children's play is always naïve, I am like an immature child, in fact, I was an immature child at that time, I stalked her, tried all kinds of ways to move herself to move her, but often the more so, the farther away she was from me, knowing that the last time, she said that I really made her hateful, we don't have any chance in our lives, let me die of this heart.

Later, there was no after.

I waited for her, waited for her for four years, she didn't hear from her, Jiang Xiaoxin was our mutual friend at that time, but after that, Jiang Xiaoxin never dared to mention her in front of me, every time I mentioned her, I would become very strange, unspeakably strange, whether it was physical or psychological, there was a great deal of blow, the most serious one, made me breathe hard and my limbs were numb, so scared that he quickly called the emergency number.

She has a special meaning with me, and my story will be shown sooner or later, but not now, I can only say that she and I used to be really important. After four years of waiting for her, I thought I could forget about her because I wouldn't think of her anymore, so I started looking for a new partner.

But after she appeared, it was like having a scale in her heart, no matter who it was, she would compare it with her, and the results were only: very similar to her but not her, still very different from her, why not her. So the time dragged on until Zhou Ting's appearance. There is also a big reason why I rejected Luo Luo, that is, because of Xiaoyu, Zhou Ting is not very unforgettable, it is a good memory, and it will not become a knot, a heart, or a demon.

And she may be the biggest demon in my heart.

This Christmas, she showed up, she called me, she hasn't changed her number for ten years, and so am I, her number, how could I not remember. We made an appointment at the bar and I mixed her a drink. "Long time no see. The first time she saw me, she bowed her head a little shyly and said this to me, and even though the music in the bar was loud, I could still hear my "thumping" heartbeat. I replied to her in a bit of a panic: "Long time no see." I asked her, "Why did you call me all of a sudden?" and she said, "I thought you had changed your number, I was afraid I wouldn't find you." I was a little surprised, so surprised that I was stunned: "For...... Why are you afraid, you are afraid that you will not find me. She didn't reply to me, just lowered her head and smiled, and I started stammering: "I...... I thought you ...... I thought you hated me, so ......" She looked up at me, even though ten years had passed, yes, it was still that smile, the smile that had haunted me for ten years. "I didn't hate you at the time, I hated myself," she said. I was a little puzzled, I began to explain: "I thought, I thought it was because you thought I was not good enough, so I began to slowly make myself better and better, at least I can make myself feel very good, I learn all kinds of new things, I began to contact the world you like, you like the second dimension, I asked a friend to recommend anime to me, take me to the comic exhibition, let me know more and more about everything, you like to draw, I asked my friend to customize a set of painting tools for me, you like ......" The more I talked, the more excited I became, she covered my mouth with her hand, and she said softly: "I know, I know what you said, Jiang Xiaoxin will occasionally talk to me about you." I nodded sluggishly, "Oh!