I really should write this thing down, because I'm afraid, probably afraid that the rest of my life won't be long!

It's really fate.,I met a gay in my sophomore year of college.,A year after I worked.,I met him again.,It's three years in between.,There's no communication.。

We talked for a week and met on the weekend, although I didn't have any particular impulses, but I originally liked to be bland.

Today's talk comes from a decision.

He raised some questions about life, in order to be responsible for the other party, I bought an HIV test strip on the Internet, and a syphilis test strip, and specially selected blood test, in fact, I was afraid of pain, but fortunately, the current instrument is very easy to operate, and the design of the blood needle is also very reasonable.

And my test result was HIV, two bars, but the bar that represented the positive was very shallow, which was a bolt from the blue, and I began to think about what kind of misconduct I had, when and where I contracted this disease.

Secretly search in Baidu, as for the search results, there are basically two kinds: one is to say that there are few viruses and need to be observed; the other is to say that the operation is improper or the test strip is not formal, and you need to go to the hospital or the CDC to draw venous blood for testing, of course, there are also people who say active treatment or something, search and search, but it confuses people.

Chatting with the fateful little brother with questions, he was more nervous than me, so maybe he was empty-hearted, chatting and chatting, the passion of the previous days was lost, and it slowly faded.

And what makes me feel relieved is that when I asked the customer service with questions, he politely said that he had encountered this situation and needed to go to the hospital for testing.

Then I talked a lot with the customer service guy, of course, at the beginning I named myself as a homosexual, he didn't mind, the content of the chat also ranged from HIV test strips, to society's views on homosexuality, to the pressure of daily life, the trouble of making money, and then to the games in life, to have fun, and finally sleepy and went to sleep.

In a short period of time, it seems to have talked about the whole life.

When I ended the chat, I went back to the question of whether I was sick or not.

What if I get sick? It's a question I've never thought about.

Think about it now.

I thought: I will explain the situation to my family as soon as possible, and of course it takes a lot of courage, not because I am sick, but because AIDS is synonymous with promiscuity.

After getting sick, I seem to be able to lose weight very quickly, get rid of the fat now, and then be skinny, relying on drugs every day to maintain a basic life.

Others should go a little further and see the world!

In the end, it is probably waiting for death.

It doesn't seem to be anything special, it's no different from ordinary people. It's just that the illness is not good.

On the contrary, if I didn't get sick, I would have continued to chat with that fateful little brother, and then cherish life and protect myself.

So this is very valuable, because it made me think about a question that I had never thought about, when it happened, how should I deal with it, whether I can continue to live openly, whether I can still live calmly and naturally with the world.

It's probably all unknown.