February 16, 2004 Cloudy

Today, I suddenly remembered that the day before yesterday was Valentine's Day.

Without Scarlett, I also lost a festival that I could spend with two people.

In fact, in retrospect, when Scarlett was around me, it was like Valentine's Day every day.

She's definitely a girl who can infect you with enthusiasm, but unfortunately, I may never have the chance to feel it again.

Su Qingqing came to me again at noon today. Even though I had rejected her so decisively, it was clear that I had underestimated her.

The words that I thought I had decided were not strong enough in her opinion. Otherwise, why could she still smile so brightly when she appeared in front of me again?

Why can't you say anything when you see me?Su Qingqing asked with a smile.

I......

I admit I really don't know what to say.

Cough...... Then I won't bother you......

Meng San also became a deserter at this time, and slipped away from me with a lunch box.

That one...... I...... Or...... Let's go to dinner together?

The atmosphere was so embarrassing that I was about to get goosebumps, so I quickly found a sentence to say.

All right!

Su Qingqing walked up to me with a smile, took out the lunch box from behind her and shook it.

I'm really convinced.,This little Nizi doesn't know if it's with her dad or her mother.,How can it be so clingy.,And it's unannoying?

I have to admit that Su Qingqing's enthusiasm for feelings is even higher than that of Scarlett, which makes me a little embarrassed.

But I still kept telling myself in my heart that my Scarlett and I weren't over yet, and I couldn't just be with Su Qingqing.

So I planned to make it clear to Su Qingqing that it was impossible for the two of us.

But before the words could be spoken, two people met face to face.

It was Scarlett and Wu Chinese, walking from the direction of the cafeteria with a lunch box in their hands.

When I saw her, she was talking and laughing with Wu Chinese.

Then she turned her head and saw me and Su Qingqing beside me.

Without any eye contact, she immediately returned her gaze to Wu Chinese.

That nerdy Wu Chinese was wearing the new glasses I paid him for, and his mouth was grinning to the earlobe.

I suddenly realized that I didn't have the same anger I had when I saw them talking and laughing.

I even felt like everything was going to go for granted.

If I can't give Scarlett the best, someone will always give her the best.

So the four people who obviously knew each other chose to turn a blind eye at the same time.

A former pair of enemies, a former pair of lovers, Scarlett and I, who used to be like two pieces of kraft candy tightly together, at this moment, each accompanied by a person of the opposite sex, and then passed by......

I suddenly seemed to have made up my mind, and grabbed Su Qingqing's hand beside me.

But after holding it, I immediately let go again.

Su Qingqing, I'm sorry, I don't want to eat, you can go and cook by yourself. I'm sorry......

With that, I turned around and left.

This scene is very similar to me and Scarlett before.

I once chose Scarlett because I couldn't get Zhen Songni, and now I can't accept that I can use Su Qingqing as a substitute for Scarlett.

No one should be a substitute for anyone. Wu Chinese will never be my substitute, he is him, the man who can walk by Scarlett's side at this moment.

And I'm no one......

February 18, 2004 Sunny

I finally understand how Takaki felt when he fell out of love.

Even though Scarlett and I haven't really spoken about breaking up or anything like that.

But I understood that there was no longer a possibility between the two of us.

I didn't ask if she was with Wu Chinese, and I didn't plan to explain why Su Qingqing walked with me.

Sometimes, people just walk and walk and then disperse.

But I didn't get drunk like Takaki did, and I didn't change schools after disappearing for a few days like he did. I was still sitting in the last row of the classroom, in math class that still bores me.

Su Qingqing didn't come to me in the past two days.

Actually, it's good, I don't want to be the kind of person who loses a pearl and immediately finds a gem instead.

Looking out the window at the warm sunshine, my whole body became lazy.

I don't know if it's loss or what, I can't be interested in anything, and I don't even bother to go when Meng San calls me to go and watch the fight downstairs.

I sighed in my heart, trying to remember some of the good things I had with Scarlett in the past, but I couldn't remember it anymore......

February 25, 2004 Sunny

I didn't keep a diary for a week.

Because there's really nothing to write about.

I suddenly felt a little ridiculous about how boring my life had been after losing Scarlett.

When I first used this notebook to keep a diary, I never thought it would get so heavy.

But the notebook is densely packed with records of my bits and pieces over the past year.

I am very grateful to myself for choosing to record the past in words.

I lost Scarlett, and I was on the verge of losing my memories of being with her. But fortunately, all those good things are in this diary......

When she came, I wrote about her. When she was gone, I wrote memories......

February 26, 2004 Sunny

Meng San told me that the school fight last week is now very big.

It's been a week, and I haven't heard of a big fuss. I say.

You don't know that. Meng San said that one of the two sides in the fight was Zhang Chu, a ruthless man who is now in his first year of high school, and the other was Liu Benben, Brother Feng's cousin.

Liu: What? I asked.

Ben Ben is the word three cows. Meng San said as he helped me write it out.

In addition to Liu Chuanfeng's cousin who was full of security in this school, when did a cousin Ben Ben pop up again?

Then why didn't Brother Feng move?I asked.

Benben is not a vegetarian either, Brother Feng asked him if he wanted to help, and he said no.

So what's the fuss?" I asked.

Meng San sighed, don't you know, this Liu Benben has been pampered since he was a child, and he has little ability and no small temper. This time he let go, he didn't borrow Brother Feng's hand to do all the people in Zhang Chu. No, as soon as these words came out, the first year of high school was now all messed up.

Is it another drama to compete for the boss?, I asked.

It's almost, anyway, now that the people on both sides have gathered, it is estimated that there will be a big one. Meng San pouted.

It's not the same as when we were fighting with Chen Zhe. I don't care. Because of that kind of scene, I don't seem to have much feeling about group fights now.

Hey, if it's really like us back then, Brother Feng wouldn't have to worry so much. Meng San said.

What's wrong?...... Is there anything else that can worry Liu Chuanfeng? I asked, of course, the latter sentence was not spoken.

Now these high school freshmen don't know where to learn badly, and they don't talk about the rules of the rivers and lakes at all. Meng San frowned, and then whispered in my ear, they seem to be going to fight this time......

I almost didn't scream.

Isn't that the same as going to war?

And the sword doesn't have long eyes, if you make a good one, won't it be ruined for the rest of your life?

I suddenly felt that the scene of my self-righteousness was actually nothing in front of these first-year high school children.

That...... What are you going to do with Brother Feng? I asked cautiously.

Meng San suddenly looked at me quite seriously, and I felt numb for a while.

Muyang, after embarking on the road of bastards, group fighting is no longer a distant thing. I hope you're prepared.

He didn't look like he was joking, and I didn't know what to say for a moment.

I thought the kind of gangsters I thought were just making a lot of noise at school. Even if you want to fight, it's just a fight of fists and feet.

But now it seems that what I am thinking about is just my naïve thoughts.

27 February 2004 Overcast

I don't know how many times I've had the idea of leaving Liu Chuanfeng's gang.

After Chongshu left, I, who was supposed to quit naturally, got closer to Liu Chuanfeng and them.

I was blinded by a moment of enthusiasm and the so-called brotherhood.

It's not my intention to keep messing around like this.

But since the moment I beat Wu Chinese, my little punk doesn't seem to be able to wash it clean.

My academic performance has dropped dramatically, I have learned to smoke, I have stopped getting weak in fights, and I have even begun to enjoy the fear of my classmates.

Because of this little bastard, I lost the opportunity to be a good student and my first girlfriend in high school, and now, am I ready to lose everything?

I do not know.

All I know is that for the first time I felt so scared of this kind of thing when there was a mass fight in the school cafeteria in the afternoon.

I knew there would be a large-scale fight, but I didn't expect it to happen so quickly.

Brother Feng didn't expect that the group of boys in the first year of high school would be so bold that they would really take out the guys and cut them down at school.

Brother Feng's cousin Liu Benben was stabbed seven times and fell in a blood-red color.

It's not like I haven't seen blood in a fight.

I also bled when I was flattened by the bus.

But such a big piece of blood, I have never seen it.

Liu Benben, whose skin was open, lay in a pool of blood, lifeless.

The mastermind of the whole thing, Zhang Chu, who is a freshman in high school, fled the scene as soon as possible.

Ambulances and police cars arrived shortly after the incident, and my fear lasted until dark with the glare of police lights and screeching sirens.

Why was it scared? During the evening self-study, the sound outside finally subsided, and Meng San changed his seat to me and asked.

I shook my head, nodded again, and shook my head again.

I don't know how two freshman high school students can really cut down with a knife when they have such a big feud!

Liu Chuanfeng's place was vacant, and he followed the ambulance to take his cousin to the hospital.

I think that when he goes out this time, he must not only accompany his cousin, but he must also start to use the power of his society again. After all, Zhang Chu, who cut people, has not been caught yet, and according to Liu Chuanfeng's style of acting, it is impossible for this revenge not to be avenged.

If Liu Chuanfeng wants to take revenge, a few of us will definitely be involved.

Although Liu Chuanfeng has always said that we will not be involved in social affairs. But this is such a big thing, it is inevitable that a few of us will not be involved.

I want to escape, I really want to escape......