Yesterday I took a leave of absence, and then I saw a friend who said that nine out of ten authors were pretending to be sick, and one had a toothache.

Maybe many people have a misunderstanding about writers, thinking that you can't write thousands of words in a day, and it's easy to face the computer every day, why are you so easy to get sick?

I don't know if there are any programmer friends among the friends who read the book, if there are, I believe that they should be able to understand the life of writers, especially professional writers, and it is more appropriate to describe it in two words - dead house.

The writer's dead house is a little different from the dead house of cognition, because many writers really don't go out all day long, sometimes only once a week.

Smile is in such a state, in the first half of 16 years, my weight was only 120 pounds, but in the first half of 17 years, it soared to 170 pounds, and I grew all empty meat.

Sitting in front of the computer for more than ten hours a day, I have been smoking violently, and I can't write without smoking, so one or two packs of cigarettes a day are common things, and I want to quit smoking several times, but I can't quit, and I can't write if I quit smoking, even if I have a bronchial problem a few years ago, and it hurts when I smoke, but in order to write an article, I have to smoke.

In addition, my weight suddenly increased by 50 pounds, and my heart was a little unbearable, plus I sat quietly for a long time, and my heart would ache faintly after writing every day, and I thought I was going to have a heart attack several times.

Not to mention that if you don't exercise for a long time, your immunity is poor, and you often have a cold and fever.

As usual, I don't ask for leave when I have a cold and fever, and I often grit my teeth and get through it.

I remember it was the second half of 16 years, when I was in Guangzhou, with wisdom teeth, toothache, pain to infection and high fever, during that time the old book was just about to blow on the wind, that is, the home page of the big seal push, we are commonly known as the wind blowing, I have been rolling in bed with pain, but a book with good grades, it may only be blown by a strong wind, what to do?

And then yesterday, I woke up around seven in the morning.

My throat hurts, my whole body hurts, I couldn't get out of bed all day, and I didn't even eat.

There's nothing to lie about.

Some time ago, I just reconciled with my girlfriend who I talked about more than five years ago, I told her that I was not feeling well, and she seemed to say to me "smoke less", well, I was not feeling well before, she often said "drink some hot water", and she answered almighty.

In fact, seeing this, many people understand what is going on with a smile in love.

I know in my own heart that a person is in love with the air, but who makes me like her?

This is off-topic.

The topic is that when I feel like I'm lying in bed as if I'm going to die, but I don't dare to tell my parents and sons, because I'm afraid that they will worry about me, and then I tell my girlfriend, she seems indifferent again, and when I see a friend who says that nine out of ten authors are pretending to be sick, and there is a toothache, my heart is very bitter.

I don't know how to describe the feeling of being abandoned by the world.

It's not a taste anyway.

Who would curse themselves for being sick?

Saying so much is not for sympathy, nor do I want to pretend to be pitiful, my old man has nothing to sympathize with and pretend to be pitiful, I just want to say, I am really sick, so I can't update, everyone can understand.

Even today, I'm still very unwell.

The bones in my body hurt as if I had been beaten, and today is better than yesterday, and I drank a little porridge, and it was only half a bowl smaller, but I still got up and wrote two chapters.

No way, who told me to eat on this full-time?

Sometimes when I look at the subscription, I am also sad and tearful.

You should know that when I first met him in 16 years, he had similar grades as me, when he was writing "Cataclysm" and I was writing "Super Money Empire".

Then almost two years passed.

His grades are getting better and better, and he has become a great god.

The worse I got and worse, the book was nowhere near as good as "Supermoney Empire".

He subscribes more than I do in a month.

The strength is not as good as people, there is nothing to say, the elbow's "The King Spares His Life" is indeed well written.

But I looked at it and panicked.

I update a chapter, chase three hundred, update two chapters a day, the new subscription is about 2000-3000, converted, about 75,000 new additions a month, the manuscript fee of this book is more than 2,000 yuan, plus the channel, last month barely reached 4,000 yuan, after paying taxes, less than 4,000.

In other words, the best hope for this book is to bring me more than three thousand dollars a month.

To put it mildly, what is more than 3,000 yuan now?

I have children to raise, my parents are old, they have been divorced for five or six years, and they are still not married, and the pressure is very, very high, if I can update more, why don't I update more?

"Supermoney Empire" earns slightly more than this book.

But there is an upper limit to making money in a book, others write one book, and I write two, nothing more than to make more money, so that my children are no worse than other people's children, after all, he is a single-parent family, nothing more than to let his parents have something to rely on when they are older.

Other people spend four hours a day on two books a day, but I have two books, which add up to more than 10,000 words, and the reason for the handicapped hand is often to write eleven or twelve hours.

It's true.

Sometimes I feel that life is so hard.

It was so bitter that I had suicidal thoughts.

I have always believed that writing books can improve my life, so I have worked hard and never dared to be willful.

It's true that since I wrote "Super Money Empire", my life has been a lot better than before, but so much pressure is on my shoulders, parents and children, not married, if I have the opportunity to marry my current girlfriend in the future, she has a child, then it will be two children, if we have another child, it will be three, this pressure is like Mount Tai pressing the top, every day I can't breathe.

Tired.

I feel so tired every day.

Tired to the end of the code to write a shower, upside down in bed can immediately fall asleep.

When others are in love, I can go out with my girlfriend every once in a while to go shopping and watch movies, etc., I can't, I may only be able to go out once or twice a month, because I don't have a code word and no income, what do I use to support my family without income?

I've also prayed in the chapter before for friends who watch pirated copies to subscribe.,It may be a bit shameless to say.,It's just that as a professional writer.,What else can you do if you don't ask for subscriptions?

After all, I'm going to eat.

After all, I'm going to survive.

After all, there are so many people waiting for me to raise.

It's been a long time since I've said so many words in my heart, and I've been pressing it in my heart, no one has said it, no matter how hard and tired a man is, can he still cry and cry?

I always feel like I'm going to crush myself one day, and after telling you today, I feel better.

Whew, no matter what, I will work hard to write a book, and strive to move towards the "great god", not that I hope to one day be able to respond to the call and be able to compete with all the gods for the monthly ticket hot list, but I want to have a hot meal to eat, so that my family can have a hot meal to eat, that's all, thank you for your subscription and support, thank you very much for allowing me to have food, thank you, thank you.