"Do you know where the river goes?"

"Drift to the ocean. ”

"And where does the ocean go?"

“...... Naturally, it flows to a place where the sea and the sky are intertwined. ”

"A place where the sea and the sky intertwin?...... What kind of place is that?"

"The end of the world. ”

"What's at the end of the world?"

"There's me. ”

The city I live in is a big city.

In many places, skyscrapers stand tall into the sky, and from a distance, the buildings are on the other side of the river, as if they are floating off the ground in the mist.

But in fact, the city still retains a lot of local, market, and even a little trivial scenery.

For example, the river that winds through the city has left traces in several residential areas. It's like a labyrinth of alleys that the city still retains, and it doesn't know when it will suddenly turn around and flow somewhere else.

Many bridges quietly span it. It's not beautiful, artistic, or ingenious, it's purely for the convenience of life, and nothing else.

I don't know the history of these bridges.

In fact, few people care. The bluestone slab bridges that can be seen everywhere, or the cement bridges that later came later, are not interested in research.

But I've always been interested in the river. I used to try to start from my home, follow the river where it flowed, and go all the way down.

I want to see where the river flows.

The Doctor has told me more than once that all rivers flow into rivers and eventually into the ocean.

He explained it to me through the books, and I knew that his grades were a mess, so I had to believe it.

The doctor's real name is Qu Shijun, and he is a child who lives downstairs from me, and is the same age as me.

Doctor, that's the nickname I gave him.

When he was in kindergarten, he moved downstairs to my house, and it attracted everyone's attention. His parents both have a strong gentle and bookish atmosphere, which makes people naturally want to get closer, and the doctor has obviously obtained excellent genes from his parents, and he is already clear and beautiful at a young age, and he speaks very decently.

At such an age, he began to vow to become a doctor, and immediately established his status as the darling of adults.

He was well-behaved, with impressively good grades, versatile, and even played the violin. He was in the best key elementary school, the first elementary school, and I was in the fourth elementary school, a general elementary school randomly arranged by local students.

Looking at the school numbers, it is divided into equals, real jailers.

Adults are amazed when they talk about doctors, and from childhood to adulthood, there are few little girls in the neighborhood who are not fascinated by his handsome appearance.

I think I'm the girl who is missing a column. I am very disdainful of Qu Shijun's amazing aging at a young age. At that time, I had a terrible dislike for precocious children.

It's better to say that I can't get used to the snobbery of adults.

So the day after I met him, I deliberately shouted to him in the hallway, "Isn't this our great doctor!"

Come to think of it, in fact, I am also precocious, and at such a young age, I already know how to sneer at others.

The adults laughed. Qu Shijun's parents laughed very happily and I was greatly amused.

Surprisingly, however, the doctor was not angry at all, and he smiled at me good-naturedly and said, "I remember your name, your name is Sang Ai Xin." ”

The super innocent smile on his face greatly ruined the a** atmosphere I created.

I hate this kind of being a gentleman, and I have to let everyone know that he is a gentleman. Isn't this forcing me to admit that I'm a villain?

Decide not to be with this person.

But there's no way I can hate the doctor.

His temper was so docile that I decided to make him a friend after a few bad times.

Children, a smile is as fast as a nap,

It's just that I don't call him Qu Shijun anymore, just call Dr. Doctor directly. How convenient, exclusive to my nickname, as if calling a pet.

Since then, there are people to teach the topics that can't be done, there are people to help the handicrafts that can't be done, and there are accomplices who share the burden of trouble.

But I'm still not motivated. The results are passable, but they are never top-notch. I've never had the passion to learn. It's not as much of an interest in the river as it gets. The class teacher reflected that I was a student who did not distinguish between priority and priority.

In a word.

It's as if I'm leaving my homework aside and asking the doctor about the river. And according to the Doctor, all rivers are like this. That is, somewhere in the city, there was that Parkway moment?

This idea is firmly rooted in my heart.

So, in a not-so-good weather, I chose to ignore the dark clouds and resolutely set off on my adventure. From home, follow where the river flows, and go all the way.

In the summer when I was 10 years old, I went on a hike in the city and made many surprising discoveries.

Often, behind the small workshops, the river suddenly changes direction, or suddenly changes from a thin stream of water to a wide channel.

It seems that in the blink of an eye, it makes a big difference.

I was stupidly cute. It was naïve to think that it had changed on its own. I didn't realize that the artificially built embankment was the real force.

As I slowly digested these exhilarating discoveries, it rained heavily.

No, it's a torrential rain.

This one, the farthest solo outing since birth, ended with God not being a matchmaker. Maybe it's a little more serious.

Because, I'm lost.

After crying under the eaves for about ten minutes, I finally realized that no matter how much I cried, I was the only one.

So, I restrained my crying, rubbed my red and swollen eyes, and took advantage of the tiled roofs of the houses on the side of the street, and began to look for my way home while sheltering from the rain.

It's good.,It's a little bit impressive.。

Finally, I saw a somewhat familiar house at a somewhat familiar street intersection, and I also met a somewhat familiar classmate.

Strictly speaking, I don't know my classmates very well. But it doesn't matter, because this classmate is very good-looking, he is a boy who will definitely be a handsome guy when he grows up.

I'm not the only one who said that, the girls in our class thought so.

So, let me think of it, we are familiar and friendly classmates.

Then, this familiar, friendly classmate was astonished to see me walking down the road drenched.

He asked, "Sang Aixin, what are you doing?"

I was stunned for a moment, wondering whether to answer him, "I'm in the rain," or "I'm lost." But he had already come up to me, took my hand and said, "You're drenched." ”

My 10-year-old girl's heart jumped very cooperatively.

It turns out that following the little beautiful man in a mess can completely offset the fear of getting lost. What's more, he still has an umbrella.

However, I shouldn't be confused to that point.

He stopped in front of a building, looked back and smiled, showing two tiger teeth, and said,

"I've arrived, goodbye. ”

I froze where I was, and once again realized that I had once again strayed from the route home.

"Uh," I called to my classmate who was about to go upstairs, "your umbrella ,......."

"Oh," he said, putting away a shy smile, and said embarrassedly, "my mother said that you can't wear an umbrella indoors, you won't grow tall." ”

Shocking me with purity, for a long time, I said, "I just want to borrow ......"

My familiar, friendly classmates still looked at me sluggishly, unresponsive.

It turns out that good-looking boys have long faces and no brains.

I just wanted to sigh, a boy holding a long-handled umbrella quietly walked out of the corridor, and called my name in surprise, "Sang Ai Xin~~"

It so happened that the doctor was studying the piano here.

I breathed a sigh of relief, for despite the clumsy appearance of the Doctor carrying a heavy-looking violin case, it gave me great hope.

The hope of going home, and the hope of not getting caught in the rain again.

I jumped over to him, came to him and said pitifully, "I'm lost, and I don't have an umbrella."

Tears were almost squeezed out of my hypocritical form.

He also opened the umbrella meekly and gave me half of it considerately.

I slipped over gratefully while waving goodbye to my dull beautiful boy.

He gave me a big smile.

I almost drooped.

It doesn't matter if you don't have a brain, it's important to have a good face.

I changed my worldview again, and in just a few seconds.

Especially when I first tasted the feeling of being energized.

"Ah~ So this is love~~" I muttered to myself intoxicated.

"Huh, you mean that?"

I nodded, "The best-looking boy in our class." ”

The doctor was silent, and after a moment, said softly, "But he looks a little dumb. ”

I was angry, "He has chivalry, just like in the movie, the kind that appeared and saved the princess, you don't understand!"

The doctor hesitated for a moment, and finally whispered, "But you were obviously lost just now." ”

My eyelids jumped unnaturally.

I want to take the umbrella with a cover, "I'm taller than you, I'll hold it!"

The doctor, whom I told me to be in pain, bowed his head and did not resist.

When we got back to the building where we lived, the doctor asked me, "Yiwen, what are you doing?"

I laughed at him for being a doctor, and he said that I was only worth a penny, and that I was a scholarly rebellion.

I smirked, "I'm going to follow the stinky river." ”

He opened his mouth, "What do you see?"

"See," I thought for a moment, and said, "secret." ”

What I saw, at the time, I knew very well.

However, the older I get, the less I realize that I understand.

It's as if I've been following the river for a long, long time, but I never see the end.

The moment when the so-called Parkway entered the sea.

One day, two years later, I was staying at my grandmother's house.

A sudden fire broke out in the middle of the night, spreading from an old house somewhere on this street.

Overnight, patches of old wooden houses were reduced to ashes. Many people were burned to death, and my grandmother was among them.

I was one of the few survivors, but I was also injured and left with ugly scars.

Lying tightly wrapped in the burn department of the hospital, I suddenly remembered the river that ran through the city.

The kind of sharp turn that caught people off guard, when I was unprepared.

The doctor came to see me, still carrying a case that was half a head taller, and walking clumsy enough, but still stumbling in, his whole face huddled together sadly because of my bad luck, snot and tears running everywhere.

I couldn't help but laugh out loud at this funny look, and the wound on my neck was pulled a little painfully.

Lying on the windowsill of the isolation cell, I said to the doctor who was crying in the corridor of the visitation area, "Okay, okay, isn't it just a little hurt." ”

He still cried. As a result, my sick number comforted the family members who visited the patient.

I guess, because I'm optimistic.

Actually, it's all pretended. I don't want to be cowardly, I don't want people to think I'm not tolerant.

But the truth is, it's really bad.

When the doctor changed my dressing, I saw the hideous scars crawling all over my hands, and I was hit harder than the heart-rending pain of the nurse tearing off the layers of epidermis on my fingers.

I won't be able to wear any more clothes with my hands exposed, and I can't wear a wedding dress anymore.

God, I never wanted to be an unmarried.

After the pain of the ten fingers to the heart passed, I didn't hear the doctor think of me as a model of dressing change who was not afraid of pain and was super brave, educating the man next door who burned his foot and cried wolf.

I just feel like the world is going gray.

In the evening, my mother helped me wash my feet, and my father walked in with the hot water that had just been changed.

Suddenly, I whispered, "I want to die." ”

My mom knocked over the basin and hugged me with my dad and cried.

I never said anything like that again. I still have to, for my parents, to live.

I'll be strong.

Will laugh.

So, I had to be open-minded and comfort a boy who was crying a lot.

His appearance is really funny, not deceiving at all.

After blowing his nose, the doctor asked me, "Aren't you in any pain?"

"I'm Superman. I'm proud to say.

"I adore you. He flashed a bright look up, and then he said, "Will your hands be good?"

He pointed to my giant gauze-wrapped hand0, which looked like a Astro Boy bazooka.

I said, "No, it's going to be scarred." ”

He began to cry again.

I continued to tease him, "and then I was laughed at and pointed at for the rest of my life, and I couldn't go to college, find a job, and finally die poor." ”

He cried even more bitterly.

The Doctor is a very kind little kid, I shouldn't have teased him like that, he really felt sorry for me.

At the same time, my own heart is even more sad. Who can guarantee that this will not happen in the future?

I'm already different from others, and I've already been partially ruined.

I looked at the window on the other side of the hallway, and the sky was still gray, like the night sky where the ashes had not cleared that night.

Twelve-year-old me, muttering, "There's no way I'm going to get married." ”

If I were now, I wouldn't have said such disgusting things if I was killed, straight to the point.

It's still a little kid who is only 12 years old, and the most excessive thing is that he actually uses a super serious and super sentimental expression and tone.

It's just precocious.

However, at that moment, I was really desperate and said, "I can't get married anymore." ”

Funnily enough, the doctor also said in a super serious tone, "It's okay with me." ”

When he said this, the tears and snot were still slowly sliding down the situation, like a slow-motion replay.

The girl's sad moment ended in an instant.

I opened my eyes wide, "And you?"

He nodded vigorously.

I resisted the urge to vomit blood, and said, "You're shorter than me, and you're a nerd, and you don't look good at all." (My vision at that time was probably just the taste of Xiao Zhengtai, who stayed in the big eyes...... ）

His face darkened instantly.

At that time, I was really mean, and now that I think about it, it's so scary, I will be pumped if I am so straightforward.

But the doctor didn't smack me, not even to fight back. I guess I was dumbfounded.

He himself knew that he was not. After a while, he said, "Then we'll still be good friends." ”

This kid has a really good brain, and he turns really fast.

I tried to pat him, but I found that my arm couldn't bend over, so I said loudly, "Of course, it couldn't be better!"

He smiled with satisfaction and went home. The doctor, who has always been clean and has not made the slightest mistake, has not even wiped off his nose.

I collapsed.

He's an idiot, do you understand it?

It's not the first time. As early as kindergarten, he told his mother, "I want to marry a penny upstairs." ”

His mother smiled and asked, "Why?"

He said, "Because Yiwen's family has a refrigerator, our family also has a refrigerator, her family has a television set, and my family has one." If you get married, you will have two refrigerators and two televisions. ”

This matter was passed on as a joke by the three aunts and six mothers-in-law of the whole building.

The doctor deserves to be called a doctor, so big, even if it is so accurate.

I poked into the figure of the doctor who saw him leave, and suddenly I thought of such a childhood incident, so I deliberately put on a very old look, shook my head against the setting sun and said, "Doctor, Doctor, you are still young and don't understand anything." ”

But at the time, I thought I knew a lot.

In the middle of the night, I never slept well because of the pain.

Perhaps, it was more due to the fact that no one was allowed to accompany me in the isolation ward.

Even parents are no exception.

The empty hospital echoed with a number of inexplicable rattling sounds, and I looked at the ceiling in the darkness and felt indescribable tightness and desolation in my chest.

I didn't realize it at the time, but loneliness was already with me.

But when I think of childlike words like the doctor, this sense of helplessness seems to dissipate a little.

It's always nice to know that you're being needed.

Even if, he said he needed me, he didn't really need me.

If you say something small, who will take it seriously.

Half a year later, we graduated from elementary school.

As a top student, the doctor was sent from the first elementary school to the first middle school.

I took the graduation examination and was assigned from the 4th elementary school to the 4th middle school.

History repeats itself.

As soon as I entered junior high school, the doctor's family moved away.

When he moved, he wrote me the phone number of his new home and told me to call him with a handful of snot and tears.

I nodded. But as a result, the number I carried in my pocket was thrown directly into the washing machine by my mother. With extreme guilt, I waited for the doctor to call me and cry about my ruthlessness.

However, he didn't call.

My guilt faded away.

I have a sense of happiness that I don't owe each other.

I think he will make a lot of new friends when he arrives in a new environment.

Because he's such a good-natured boy and smart.

He's probably forgetting about me.

And I, too, slowly forgot about the doctor.

The Doctor's departure from my childhood didn't make any difference.

The fact is that the earth rotates the same, the exams are the same, my grades are the same, and it is inevitable that I will be divided into the four middle schools.

Sure enough, the excellent people around me left, but I still maintained the same level as always, does this prove that I have relied on my own strength to get to this day?

"Strength!~~" That's my mother giving me a blow mercilessly.

Ahem, I must admit that in a way, my dad and I are genetically compatible. We are all a little slow, God is there, we don't pay much attention to anything, we are honest and honest, and we look stupid.

My mother has always been obsessed with my grades, and when I was in elementary school, I was often scolded by her, and the strong contrast between the doctor and me, like light and darkness, was the main factor that angered her.

At that time, she should have hated me fiercely in her heart. It's not so much that my grades have never gone up and she loses face, but that my casual attitude towards learning makes her even more annoyed.

However, after the accident at the age of 12, she suddenly stopped being harsh and demanding of me.

Although I only said that one sentence that night, my mother was really scared.

She may have realized that a part of my life had changed, that the trajectory that would have gone on was gone. Perhaps, it is more important than anything else that I live well.

It has become her all her hope that I can be happy.

A small thing, a small turn in life, just like that, easily changed the always strict mother.

However, she didn't expect that I, who had always been silly and stupid, would be in a daze, and slowly disappeared.

This small turn also changed me completely.

When I entered middle school, I suddenly became more energetic than ever, listening to lectures, reading books, revising, and taking exams.

In the days of the fourth middle school, I actually jumped into the top five of the grade, which is the result that my mother has always dreamed of, and she is about to cry with joy.

Can I hope to see my mother's snot again? (Okay, okay, Mom, I'm just joking, don't take a broom!)

I was so happy to see my mother's smile.

During my night in the hospital, I saw my parents outside the door with their mouths covered and their voices lowered and desperately crying, but they didn't want me to hear it.

At that time, I secretly made up my mind.

At the very least, I'm going to make them happy for me.

Life is really sudden.

It's like Maggie's gifts, often exchanging with each other, for something that they want the most, but inadvertently but loses their meaning.

However, as long as we are happy. My parents are very happy, so that's good.

As for me, it's not that important.

Besides, I'm a girl who can't wear short sleeves on a hot summer day.

Because, I have ugly scars on my body.

In fact, I was always worried that my classmates would find out about it. Will they scream, will they hate me, will they point at my ugly scars?

I waited with trepidation for the day when I would be ruined.

However, when they did find out about this during the swimming lessons, it was completely unexpected.

They actually, completely, turned a blind eye.

Even the three boys who usually like to laugh at me and tease me are no different from their usual hippie smiles.

I tried my best to suppress a shaky voice and asked the girls in my class, "Don't you see any difference in me?"

They quickly swept around my body and spread their hands widely, "No." ”

The three "cheap" guests also said very cheaply on the side, "Do you want to remind us that you are developed?!"

I splashed the water hard.

Everyone made a mess, everyone was drenched, and there was a scuffle.

As I dodged the water gun, the soles of my feet slipped and sank to the bottom of the pool with a grunt.

Under the clear pool, I had a liquid in my eye sockets, mixed with a very bright blister with a bit of a disinfectant smell.

The grades of the fourth middle school are not as good as others, the school building is not as good as others, and the teachers are even more mediocre.

However, I have a group of classmates who are incomparable.

With them, I laughed louder, crazier than anyone else, and I was a part of any prank.

Even the teacher's comment reads:

Sang Ai Xin, excellent grades, lively and cheerful, warm and friendly.

I'm very satisfied with myself.

The parents who returned after the parent-teacher meeting were also very satisfied, and finally there was a little girl at home to support the table, is my situation considered a late bloomer?

It's just that every time I leave my classmates' side, I will secretly feel a little depressed again.

I think there is only one place in the four that is suitable for me to survive.

My classmates are protecting me. As long as I stay here, I will be safe, I can laugh happily, and I can roll up my sleeves and be an ordinary person without any scruples.

Not having to face the surprised look of a stranger, enough is enough, for me, enough.

Until, I met Ah Wei.

When I was about the third year of junior high school, I wrote an incomprehensible bloody article, which inexplicably touched a group of 180-year-old old men and grandmothers, and won the first prize in the city, which made the school earn a lot of face and awarded me a private scholarship for the first time.

The number of scholarships is substantial, and the number of recipients is very small.

That year, there were only two students in our class who were eligible to get it.

One is me and the other is Xu Ruwei.

I was in the first class, and she was a student who transferred to the fifth class in the second half of the second year of junior high school.

Rumor has it that she is not smiling and is a cold beauty. But that's not the most surprising thing about this rumor.

The most unexpected part is that this Xu Ruwei is transferred from No. 1.

Huhu, it has always been the students of the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th middle schools who are desperately squeezing into the first middle school one after another, and I have never heard of anyone who is willing to succumb to the fourth middle school from the first middle school.

Spooky, absolutely weird!

Rumors such as that she was born frail and sickly, or that she would be forced into exile because of something that could not end in a middle school, were rampant. It is true that where there is a crowd, there is gossip.

However, this Xu Ruwei used her strength to block everyone's mouths.

I have to say that her methods are extremely sharp, basically to the extent that she kills without seeing blood.

In the first final exam, she won the first place in the whole grade, and her score was more than 20 points ahead of the second place.

My God, when the list was released, the teachers' faces were not good-looking. Is this the gap between the destined No. 1 Middle School and the No. 4 Middle School?!

I haven't met this girl, but I like her.

I like everything that dares to push the imagination of ordinary people, including people. I think she looks like a female warrior who suddenly kills on a flip bucket, and the picture is very funny, but the protagonist has a serious expression on her face.

It wasn't until the day of the award that we finally had a historic meeting, and I was very pleased to test my imagination.

She is really beautiful, her long hair is not tied up, and she has delicate hairpins on both sides, and she feels fairy. It's just that she doesn't give the director face very much, and she handed her the certificate with a smile on her face, she took it expressionlessly, politely said thank you, and flashed to the side.

Well, I followed suit, and in front of the dean, who had come to his senses and could not smile at the students so as not to lose face, I accepted my prize with sincere trepidation.

Whew, the sequelae are really too powerful.

I put it on も

When ey's envelope walked to the side, Xu Ruwei suddenly looked up at me.

I was stunned for a moment, and quickly smiled.

Sang Aixin's smile should be invincible in the world.

I'm confident in this.

However, she just stared at me for a moment, and then turned away in silence.

I was so bored that I had to laugh and stand next to me.

During this period, a number of unknown dogs and cats from the Education Bureau kindly held our hands to encourage and praise us, and the content was nothing more than to guard against arrogance and rashness, and to reach a higher level.

This kind of ear has been marked with eighteen layers of calluses, and the durability is outrageous.

In this cycle, I finally couldn't laugh, and looked at the leaders who were taking turns to make reports, and the corners of my mouth slowly closed.

Lonesome.

In this crowded auditorium, I suddenly felt a panic-inducing loneliness, like a tide that instantly drowned.

Yes, I don't like this lengthy and cumbersome process.

However, I don't like myself even more when I humbly force a smile in this process.

I want to end this boring ritual quickly, and I want to get back to my seat as soon as possible.

The mood is irritable for no reason.

At this time, someone gently held my hand.

Xu Ruwei said, don't force yourself.

That's when I saw her clearly.

Thin, but very energetic, with great hands, cold, but with warm eyes and strong will.

That's how we became good friends.

In the days that followed, I said of my dear friend:

Cold on the outside and hot on the inside, soft on the outside and rigid on the inside, like a barbecued pork bun that looks cold on the outside, take a bite, but immediately there is a hot stuffing flowing out————Wow!

This evaluation is regarded as a classic by the three "cheap" guests in our class and praised everywhere.

It's not so much that they're promoting my talent for hilarity, but rather that they're satisfying their lust for cold-eyed beauties.

A

YWAY, it's good that the person concerned doesn't mind.

I'll just say, barbecued pork buns, no, Xu Ruwei, are actually very easy to get along with.

Even though we've only been together for a year and we're not in the same class, she often hits me and laughs at me, but I know that she likes me as much as I like her.

We had a lot to talk about, and it seemed that our views on everything were strikingly similar.

But that's not the biggest reason why I consider her a lifelong friend.

Indeed, we are like-minded and like-minded.

But we are two completely different people. In the eyes of others, I am like the sun, she is like the moon, one is cheerful, the other is quiet, one hot and one cold.

However, this is not the case.

I know that everything is a façade.

I also know that I am not that kind of person.

How long can a person hide his true face?

Or has he completely forgotten his true colors in the world.

Even I don't know what kind of person I am.

But the strange thing is that she actually knows, and will take me out of the gray world.

It's as if she's the sunshine.

This feeling reminds me of my Ph.D. when I was a child.

Calm and wise, always gentle doctor.

I've always been good friends with this type of person.

This is the legendary complementarity?!

But in fact, I still don't have the courage to face myself.

When the third year of junior high school was about to graduate, Ah Wei came to me.

She said to me, "Ai Xin, let's take the No. 1 middle school together, although the students in the No. 4 middle school are good, they are not good for your future." ”

I was stunned by her sober analysis.

I was really moved in an instant, and I wanted to go to No. 1 Middle School, which guaranteed access to higher education.

But the next second, I was scared.

I don't have the confidence to be an ordinary person who ignores the eyes of others in the new environment.

I gently touched the protruding scar on my hand through my shirt, shook my head and said, "No, I still want to stay in No. 4 Middle School." ”

The moment I said that, I felt like I had thrown away a jewel that I had longed for for a long time, and I felt a sense of heartache.

Still, I said so.

Ah Wei didn't force me, just as I didn't force her to stay in No. 4 Middle School.

With her grades, it is not for the purpose of going back to the first middle school. The reason for her going back is the same as the reason she came here from No. 1 Middle School, which is worth her insistence.

I envy her for having the courage to follow her ideals and aspirations.

Actually, I've long since lost this qualification.

At the end of the high school graduation ceremony, we hugged tightly.

She finally cried and said, "Ai Xin, Ai Xin, you must come to see me." ”

I also cried, I had long decided that Ah Wei was my best friend in life.

We took a group photo on the edge of the playground where we used to run to vomit, and the hot summer wind blew our skirts and crackled on our skin.

She put her arms around me and said,

"Why are you such a child with a strong appearance and a fragile heart?! Why are you it?! Ai Xin, if you are not so reckless and not so reluctant to force yourself, I will not have the urge to cry when I see you. ”

Her tears, drop by drop, hit my shirt.

How I wish I could be a supple on the outside and strong on the inside.

But it backfired, and all I could do was use my not strong heart to support the hard-looking shell.

My vulnerability, no matter how hidden it is, is always visible in front of some people.

For example, Ah Wei, such as doctors.

They were like the sun, shining on the corners of my heart covered in dirt.

Now, Ah Wei is leaving me and returning to where she came from.

That's where the Doctor is, too.

Doctor, who hasn't seen you for a long time, okay?

Just when I thought I had forgotten you, I felt like you again.

The high school life in the fourth middle school is very happy.

I think that's because most of the brothers and sisters who are doing nothing have finally recognized the situation and collectively chose to go straight to our school. Then, those who love to make noise continue to make noise, and those who love to mix continue to mix, a peaceful scene.

I gradually observed a pattern, the fourth middle school seems to be particularly suitable for cultivating funny students, for example, the three "cheap" customers who have become famous in junior high school did not hesitate to declare that they would expand the scale to the seven "cheap" Xia Tianshan in high school......

I swore I really wanted to be a noble person from the beginning, but within a few days of school, these ruffians dragged me into the water. It wasn't until the head teacher criticized and educated me in the style of righteous killing of relatives that I found out that they actually classified me as the first of the seven "cheap" without the knowledge of the person concerned.

I was so angry that I almost pumped, but one by one the riffraff hid behind the dirty curtains of the classroom, pretending to be shy, looking at me pitifully, and calling me affectionately "su."

su

My lord", just like that, he performed the most shameless intercession trick and successfully got me.

I had no choice but to smile bitterly.

Sangsang, who called me so similar to su

It's like sunshine, as if it can purify all sentient beings. Please, how can I be so noble!

I'm just content with this illusory scene that is needed and admired.

On a day like this, there is almost no difference from my ideal high school life, except for the absence of Ah Wei.

I miss her, and I miss this beautiful barbecued pork bun that can see my heart in every gesture.

Every two weeks on Thursdays, I receive a letter from her from No. 1 Middle School. We corresponded so frequently, and we had to call every once in a while, sometimes on weekends, she would come to my house, sometimes she would come back to No. 4 Middle School to play, but I never went to No. 1 Middle School to find her.

Not only the No. 1 Middle School, but I also have an inexplicable sense of fear for all the places on the periphery of the No. 4 Middle School.

The sun shines brightly, and summer is the hardest season for me. I avoided all the opportunities to interact with the public, taking the bus, or going to the amusement park.

Day after day, I rode my bike in solitude, along the riverside path, to and from school, or to take a little detour, for a leisurely stroll. Sometimes at dusk, when no one is around, a sudden brake, stop by the silent bridge, and look at the surrounding scenery.

Oh, I always remember that summer when I was 10 years old, that hike, that heavy rain, and that perseverance.

Unfortunately, I don't have much to hold on to now.

I just hope that the scars on my body can disappear, and then the scars in my heart will disappear.

While I was still immersed in such a daydream, suddenly a child's shrill voice sounded,

"Look, look, that sister's hand, it's so terrifying!"

I looked up in embarrassment, looked at the two little children standing there with a wincering stare at my hands, involuntarily pulled a wry smile, and rode away in a bit of a panic.

On such a summer day, my heart is like an ice cave, unfathomable, and bitterly cold.

My scars will never go away, just like my life, forever, forever.

That weekend, Wei's parents weren't home, so I went to stay at her house.

Her room, as always, was piled with books, and there was no such thing as beautiful as her appearance. I sat in the stack of books and flipped around, and then I suddenly looked up and asked, "Ah Wei, did I tell you that I once had a childhood friend." ”

She lightly stepped over the stacks of books and sat next to me, with an interested expression on her face, "No, what kind of person is it?"

I was about to blurt it out, Doctor, but swallowed it back.

Doctor, is my nickname, and I quietly hid it with a selfish desire unknown to others.

I said, "It's a boy with big ambitions, and he decided to be a doctor when he was six years old," and after a pause, I added, "He seems to be in No. 1 Middle School now." ”

"Oh?!Why didn't you tell me earlier," she looked at me a little disgusted, "So you're so good at hiding secrets!

I scratched my head embarrassedly, "We haven't seen each other in a long time, and I've almost forgotten about him." ”

"Then why is it suddenly said now?"

"That's, that's because ......," I suddenly fell silent, "I remembered something from the past. ”

Some of the childhood spent with the doctor, some of which belong to the complete memories of me.

I smiled at Ah Wei, "Why don't I tell you his name, you can know him." ”

She shook her head, "I don't want to," she said, "you know I've never liked to make too many friends." ”

Xu Ruwei, in the place where I am not there, I probably still maintain the image of an iceberg beauty. In her letters to me, there were many descriptions of everyday scenes, fallen leaves or rain, and sometimes even dust on the windows, however, Ah Wei rarely mentioned a friend from No. 1 Middle School.

She often told me that No. 1 Middle School was a good place to study. But I never said that No. 1 Middle School is a good place to make friends.

I guess the reason why she came to the fourth middle school was indeed what happened. But she didn't tell me, and I couldn't ask.

The better the friend, the more you have to respect her secrets.

But that night, Xu was relieved because I told Ah Wei about the doctor's past.

In the summer night sky, the stars were weaving, and the two of us moved a deck chair and set it up on the balcony at an angle of almost 180, leaning comfortably on it, ready to spend the night like this.

To this day, I still love nights like this, looking up at the sky, as if I had reached the end of the world and not felt afraid.

Then, I saw Wei winking at me in her recliner, and I smiled and asked, "What's wrong?"

She said, "I'll tell you a secret too." ”

"Oh?" I pricked up my ears, "about what?"

She smiled mysteriously, "About why I transferred to the fourth middle school. ”

I looked at her idiotically and asked, "Why?"

She said, "Because, a boy kissed me." ”

Sang Aixin's girlhood finally came because of Xu Ruwei's confession.

Before that, I was definitely just a girl who had non-gender feelings for boys in order to be inexplicably involved in the torrent of seven "cheap", that kind of feeling, I often roared out with a roar, that is, "You all let me die~"

However, I finally found out that Ah Wei's maturity was much earlier than mine, and at that moment, I could only desperately continue to expand the congestion of my eyes that were already wide open.

"Then you came to the fourth middle school to ......"

"Escape. She said bluntly, saving me the step of hard suspicion.

"And do you like him?" I asked weakly.

"I don't know. ”

"Then why did you go back to No. 1 Middle School?" I had more and more questions.

"Because, I want to confirm it. ”

Hehe, I can finally show my IQ that is not too bad, "Do you want to confirm to see if you like him?"

Ah Wei smiled to show his affirmation of me.

"And then, and then?" I climbed almost to the outside of the recliner, "is there any development?"

Her smile instantly turned a little sad, and she said, "I'm back, but he's gone to another school." ”

Ah, I couldn't help but look disappointed and slumped on the chaise longue.

Ah Wei said, "So, a lot of things are gone and never come back." ”

Then, we were all silent.

In our childhood, we all had secrets of one kind or another, and we all had friends of one kind or another, but once we let go, we lost them forever.

Doctor and I, in fact, are the same.