Before the plane was about to land, Cheng Sen brought a glass of water and handed it to Lin Yan, Lin Yan lay on the bed and looked at Cheng Sen silently, and finally drank all the water in the cup without saying anything.

Cheng Sen gently dropped a kiss on Lin Yan's forehead, and lay down beside Lin Yan.

When Lin Yan woke up again, his eyes were a very warm room, there were vases on the windowsill and on the table, red roses and white kapok were entwined, and Lin Yan saw the vegetable garden outside, this should be a bungalow, Lin Yan thought.

When Cheng Sen pushed the door and walked in, Lin Yan was sitting in front of the dresser to make up, she used an extremely simple head rope to fix the braided side braids, Cheng Sen slowed down and walked over, reaching out to pick a rose in a bottle, but suddenly changed his mind and picked a white kapok.

lightly fixed the white kapok to the end of Lin Yan's braid, and then hugged her from behind.

Cheng Sen looked at Lin Yan who was hugged by him in the mirror, not powdered but fragrant, a twisted braid was sideways in front of him, the white kapok was also a little more vivid, Cheng Sen had never seen such a forest smoke, and threw away those high-flying, sharp blades, at this time she was like a naïve girl, unknown to the world.

Unconsciously looked at Lin Yan's eyes, and after being stunned for a moment, Cheng Sen unexpectedly let go of his hand in a panic and stepped back.

The calf slammed into the chair behind him, and the pain relieved Cheng Sen a little, and he called out a little sadly, "Yanyan." ”

Lin Yan looked at Cheng Sen's pain behind him through the mirror, and showed a bright smile, "Ah Sen, I'm hungry." ”

Cheng Sen opened the door and walked out, the wind outside was very cold, which aggravated Cheng Sen's pain, those eyes had no light, and she silently abandoned all emotions in front of his eyes.

Her smile didn't reach the bottom of her eyes, and she looked at herself like she was watching a clown jumping off the beam.

She is no longer sad and no longer happy.

A stumbling stagger, Cheng Sen knelt on the ground, his emotions were out of control and he couldn't stand up, he covered his face with his hands, Cheng Sen roared in pain, Cheng Sen, Cheng Sen, don't you want to keep her by your side?

When Cheng Sen returned to Lin Yan's room again, it was already dinner time, and the two of them were sitting at the round table in the room, Cheng Sen kept helping Lin Yan with vegetables, "This is a small town in Australia, the people here are simple, I bought this yard, you go out tomorrow to go around, we will live here in the future, and no one will come to disturb us." ”

After not hearing the echo for a long time, Cheng Sen mustered up the courage to look at Lin Yan, but found that Lin Yan was only holding a cup of warm water and taking a sip of it, and the food on the side did not move, looking at the dishes he had sandwiched neatly placed in the rice bowl, like a great irony, laughing at his self-inflicted amorousness.

When emotions erupt, people always don't think about the consequences.

Cheng Sen got up almost instantly and stepped forward to pinch Lin Yan's chin, and with the other hand, he used a spoon to feed the porridge to Lin Yan's mouth, Lin Yan's tongue did not cooperate, and the porridge slowly fell from the corner of his mouth, Cheng Sen seemed to be crazy and didn't mind, but instead fed Lin Yan's mouth spoonful after spoonful, "Don't try to leave me by any means." ”

Lin Yan didn't have time to swallow, he was stimulated by Cheng Sen's strength, pushed Cheng Sen away hard, and began to vomit.

When he raised his eyes again, Lin Yan's eyes were full of red bloodshots, and his face was pale, which seemed to make Cheng Sen feel panicked, and in Lin Yan's unpredictability, Cheng Sen knelt beside Lin Yan's legs, and his hands trembled and wanted to touch Lin Yan's face.

Lin Yan dodged indifferently, "Cheng Sen, you are so cheap." ”

This word successfully stimulated Cheng Sen, his eyes were red, and he stared at Lin Yan for a moment.

"For so many years, the groveling, loneliness, and delusion caused by not being able to get you have long made me embarrassed, cold and violent. ”

"Isn't it because of you that I've become what I am now? ”

"You obviously don't love me, but you treat this as a game, you can take revenge if you want to, why do you want to use the most cruel way to make me fall in love with you, and then abandon me. ”

"Lin Yan, look at me. ”

Cheng Sen shook Lin Yan's shoulders, his voice choked and hoarse.

"Lin Yan, I can't let you go, and I can't let go of myself, Yanyan, why don't you want to pity me. ”

"I'm willing to be your trapped beast, but you can only have me in your cage. ”

Lin Yan lowered his eyes to Cheng Sen's eyes, those eyes were full of her figure, his body trembled, he knelt humbly at his feet, and suddenly burst into tears.

Knowing that it hit his hand, Lin Yan woke up suddenly, ignoring Cheng Sen's questioning, "Are you crying, why are you crying?"

Lin Yan pushed Cheng Sen away, got up and turned his back to him, "You go out, I want to sleep by myself tonight." ”

The door was closed, Lin Yan stumbled towards the bed, his whole body was too late to finish sinking into the soft quilt, and big tears fell uncontrollably down his cheeks.

"Cheng Sen, I saw you, step by step and willingly prostrate at my feet, dancing like a jade boy because I gradually became humble like a trapped beast, looking back, you are not the only one who sinks. ”

"I love you, Cheng Sen. ”

The moment I burst into tears, I clearly understood that I had already sunk into your unreserved love, and that I was conceited and greedy. Self-deception, these tears finally punctured my lies.

But we were wrong in the beginning, and we are wrong now, I deserve retribution for my greed, and I don't deserve anyone's love.

There's too much between you and me.

My father's life, my hurt and deceive you, Cheng's decline, Han Ze's coma, Ah San's child's life, Su Weichen's marriage.

All of this is told to me all the time.

I, Lin Yan, don't deserve anyone's love, and I don't deserve anyone's life.

Those who understand me are hurt by me, and I understand, they are hurt by me.

Loneliness is the punishment that this world brings to me.

After that night, Lin Yan no longer didn't eat or drink, and began to live calmly in the town with Cheng Sen, planting vegetables and taking care of the room with Cheng Sen during the day, and no longer excluding Cheng Sen's contact at night, they began to live in the same house, sleep together, and eat at the same table, just like every ordinary couple in this town.

Only Cheng Sen knew that Lin Yan's eyes were barren and there was no light.

Lin Yan lived quietly, and Cheng Sen waited quietly.

Finally, one night two months after they came to this town, Lin Yan and Cheng Sen lingered and kissed together in a moment of bliss, "Ah Sen, I'm going to leave tomorrow." ”

Cheng Sen ignored the sweat on his body and hugged Lin Yan tightly in his arms, "Okay, I'll help you pack your luggage and sleep." ”

"Good night, the love of my life. ”

I finally understand that I want you to be happy more than my pain.

。