The car moved forward with time, but my time went backwards. Sitting in the car and watching the scenery flying by outside the window, there are no small western-style buildings with two or three floors in my memory, and some are just red brick and red tile houses that have long been forgotten in my mind.

Smoke is still billowing from the kilns on the south side of the national highway, and men and children are playing in the water in the pond to the north. Watermelons and corn grow in the fields along the roadside, and villagers who are not busy with farming sit in the shade of trees and brag and fart.

Walking to the courtyard that carried his childhood memories, the vermilion iron door had already shown signs of corrosion, and the crack in the roof was still fixed by steel bars.

Push open the gate, the left corner of the courtyard is the place where my mother used to make wine, at that time my father had many friends, every time I came to the house I always had to bring some wine back, my mother never said anything, and then after the two of them divorced, my mother went to Hangzhou alone, and since then the simple wine-making equipment has never been used, and my father's friends are not as bad as before.

The peach trees in the yard rotted and no one picked them, and the big bluestone in front of the pressurized water well was still there.

"Ah Dad, I'm back", we used to call Grandpa and Daddy here.

Grandma was cooking in the kitchen, and Daddy was sitting in the hall drinking wine facing the door. If it weren't for the fact that he came in and caught a glimpse of him picking up his glass in a panic when he came back, causing some of the wine to spill out, I am afraid that he would really think that he would not care about anything but drinking.

"Well, when I come back, I'll go and cook a pot for your milk, and hurry up to cook and eat. "Ah, Daddy went into the inner room after that. Daddy is an upright man and a gentle man.

Grandma said that when I just gave birth to my uncle, the head of the army passed by us and wanted to take Daddy to be a guard for him, but Daddy just said: "I can't go, the second baby in the family has just landed not long ago, and the eldest baby is not much older." Let me throw all of this to my mother-in-law, it won't work, it won't work."

Later, I learned that for Daddy, grandma was his world. When he is with his grandmother, everything he has will be accommodated. As for when grandma was not around, that time I saw it, Daddy was drunk and crying and called grandma, saying that he wanted grandma to come back, he missed her.

That time, my grandmother didn't come back for my college tuition and living expenses, and my father quarreled with me, saying that if it wasn't for my father's cheating, my mother wouldn't have left, and she wouldn't have to worry about thousands of dollars in tuition...

That time I thought my father was crazy, and he hit Daddy. Daddy was old, very thin, and drunk, and Daddy couldn't resist at all, and that time, Daddy found the unused pesticide at home, I don't know what he thought at the time, probably just opened it and drank it like he usually drinks, but I knew that it must have tasted bad.

I used to envy that everyone had a banquet, but why did my family never hold one? When can our family hold a banquet? That time, my family held the first banquet in my memory, which was my father's funeral. That was the first time I felt that the world was not worth it, and probably Daddy thought the same way.

In fact, Daddy is sometimes a very cautious person. I remember one time I went to my mother's place for the summer vacation, and my father and another relative of my grandfather's generation went there to see us, probably with the attitude of letting my mother and father remarry.

But the first thing my mother said when she saw Daddy was: "Uncle, why didn't you say anything in advance."

That day, Ah Dad's face was dark, and when he went back, he complained to his grandmother: Do you know what Xiaoxia called me? She called me uncle! How could she call me uncle, Xiao Yong was sorry that it was Xiao Yong's fault that she was called, but how could she say that she would call uncle.

Grandma was crying and laughing beside her, but she knew that Daddy was sad, and he would only be sad about these little things.

"Xiao Zhe'er, what do you think, I'm going to eat. Why are you in tears, are you getting smoke to your eyes?" Grandma asked.

"It's okay, it's okay, it's just that I think Daddy is obviously worried about what is going on with me, and he pretends not to care, so I think it's funny and a little sad. It's okay now, eat, eat, it's been a long time since I've eaten your grandma's cooking. ”

"Your dad is like this, he doesn't seem to care about anything but drinking, but he is actually very soft-hearted. ”

Shan Zhe smiled, shook his head and threw all his previous thoughts out of his head. Didn't you figure it out a long time ago, to make this life less sad, this is the first thing.

Shan Zhe never thought about why he never thought about changing his father in his first life, probably because this man who made him feel that the world was not worth it and brought him all the suffering. In the final analysis, Shan Zhe is not a saint, not a living bodhisattva who saves suffering.

He is just a small person who wants to have a stable home, and this family is something that his father can't give.

After eating, Shan Zhe walked to the pond next to the wheat field and sat down, he was thinking about how to use the remaining month of summer vacation to earn tuition, as long as he earned the tuition, grandma didn't have to go out to earn money, and grandma would not think about suicide if he was by his side.

Computers? There are not many in the whole town that have computers, and I can't do it; I can earn a few hundred yuan after a month in the factory, which is not enough at all; Stealing, stealing, crawling, and taking? No, as a young man of the 21 st century, I can't do anything illegal and criminal.

So what should I do, is there any idea to make money without any cost, Shan Zhe only felt a little crazy. Others have crossed all kinds of air, and when they get to themselves, they are confused. I was still fantasizing about being the focus of the world...

Of course, celebrities are just singing, dancing and acting, dancing and acting, and singing is still no problem. I can copy two songs in the future and sell them to the music studio, Shan Zhe suddenly had a flash of inspiration.

But I don't know where there is a music studio!! Shan Zhe suddenly felt that he had crossed over and was not much different from waste. Why don't you go to the big city to sing or go to a bar to sing in the bar?

Oh, children only make choices, and adults certainly want them all. After making the decision, Shan Zhe got up and went home, and turned out all his savings: 342 yuan. A guitar counts as 200 yuan, 30 yuan a night in a youth hostel, and 15 yuan a day for dinner.

It's only enough to stay for three days, and if it doesn't work out in three days, you'll have to roll back. Wait, did I ignore something? How should I come back? How should I go!! I didn't count the travel expenses at all, Shan Zhe suddenly felt that there was nothing really wrong with his brain.

It's impossible, I was just careless just now, but what about the travel expenses now. If you ask your eldest sister, you will be beaten, and if you borrow ten or twenty yuan from a friend, they can take it out, and you don't have to think about a few hundred yuan. At this moment, the second sister walked in from outside.

"Second sister, what are you doing?"

"Just came back from Yunyun's house, what's wrong?"

"I'm going to talk to you about something, I want to go out and earn some money during the summer vacation. ”

"Where are you going to make money?"

"Go to the Demon Capital. ”

"How much does it cost?"

"One... Two hundred, hey, how do you know I want money. ”

"I have taken care of you since you were a child, and even I washed your clothes when you pulled your pants, do you think I know?"

"I'll get it for you", after speaking, he turned around and took out a small box with a combination lock from her box, "The password is your birthday, and the money I saved is in it, about four or five hundred yuan, you can use it."

Before Shan Zhe could speak, the second sister went out again. She has always been like this, she will give me what I want, never ask anything else, what I give will only be more than that, no matter how old I am, she has always spoiled me as a younger brother.

At dinner, the second sister didn't say a word about me going to the magic capital, and I just said to the eldest sister that the day after tomorrow I would go to school to fill in the volunteer and go to my mother in Hangzhou, and the eldest sister didn't ask anything else, because Shan Zhe would go to my mother for a period of time every year during the holidays.

In this way, Shan Zhe rested at home for two days, and went to school on the 26th to fill in the volunteers, and then took the train to the magic capital on the same day.

Shan Zhe remembered that his college entrance examination score was about 620 points, which reached the undergraduate admission score line, but because of family reasons, he finally filled in a second college in the province.

This time, Shan Zhe only filled in one volunteer for Yenching University of Finance and Economics, as for why he only filled in this one, it was mainly because Yenching University and Wudaokou Vocational and Technical College did not have enough scores, and he wanted to go to Yenjing, and the liberal arts colleges had enough scores, and this school ranked the highest.

Shan Zhe, who was sitting on the train, began to dream: what kind of person can he live in this life.

No one knows what the future will look like, but I do, so I'm changing.