Will I be unlucky again?

I don't know, just like I don't know, why I suddenly fell in love with Jiang Beisheng, I was at a loss and confused.

I once said that it only takes a second to fall in love with someone.

Garfield's phone call was an opportunity for me to wake up and see where my emotions were going. Although this opportunity, awakening, I know that this man is planning a conspiracy trap that I don't know about, I can't seem to stop the growth of this affair.

This feeling is like a moth to a fire, knowing that there is a fireworks in front of you that will not leave a trace of the aftermath of the disaster, but you still can't help but want to pounce on it and have the beauty of that moment.

Just like when I was twenty-two years old.

That year, when I was a senior in college, I was hit in the eye by an anxious basketball and lay in the hospital in the dark for a month. In order not to worry Nanako and Mr. Bean, I didn't even say a word about my three best friends, and I lay alone in a single room on the thirteenth floor of the hospital.

The doctor said that the damage to my eyes was not very serious, and as long as I wrapped white gauze for a month, I could recover completely.

I'm just a senior in college, and I don't have any financial resources other than Nanako's 800 yuan a month. Luckily, the villain who smashed my eyes was a rich man with a conscience.

Not only did they pay for the best treatment for me, but they also booked a single room at a high price and hired an aunt who took care of it at night. During the day, it was this rich man who waited for me to eat and drink at the head of the bed.

Thinking of his well-behaved and thoughtful serving, I reassured him that after a month, as long as his eyes are intact and his vision is online, I guarantee that there will be no additional civil compensation.

His voice was deep and mellow, with a hint of indifference and a hint of arrogance.

This voice has been blurred in my memory for many years, and it was Jiang Beisheng who made me recolor the vague memory. Because their voices are so similar.

In that month, maybe there was sweetness, maybe there was heartbeat, maybe there was expectation, maybe there were countless interesting stories about girls and boys in love, I don't remember. The only thing I can remember is that the afternoon before the gauze was removed, I was just worried about whether there would be sequelae after the gauze was removed, so I didn't bother to talk and lay in a daze.

"Apples, do you want to eat?"

“……”

"Oranges, do you want to eat?"

“……”

"Sleeping?"

“……”

"Really slept?"

“……”

The rich man finally stopped asking questions, and the silence in the ward made me think a lot clearer, and at this moment, a gust of wind rose with two passionate lips, and fell silently on my pursed lips.

It was my first kiss and my first love.

But I didn't even know his name or his name.

It wasn't until the day I was discharged from the hospital that the nurse picked up a student ID card in my single room that I learned that my first love who took away my first kiss turned out to be a junior who was three years younger than me.

I thought it was the kiss that made him scared, so I wrote that love letter and asked someone to give it to him.

It's obviously a love letter between the two lovers, but for some reason, it ended up with my wishful thinking.

What happened to that......

"Don't leave me behind. ”

The person who was pressed to bed with great effort seemed to have been awakened by a nightmare, and he jumped up and hugged me in deep thought: "Don't leave me alone." ”

I was completely awakened.

When I was in the restaurant box, I had already seen Jiang Beisheng's slightly fragile side, but at this moment, it was as fragile as a porcelain doll full of cracks, and it could not be said that there was no impact.

After all, in his memory, except for the days when he was scathing and mean, he was either running amok with a look of indifference or with a flying and domineering virtue, or he was in a hurry to run rampant.

The impact was like a worm that was accidentally ingested into the mouth and was about to spit it out, and it was accidentally swallowed raw, which made me feel uncomfortable both visually and emotionally.

"Beisheng, you, you let go of me first. This discomfort made me sweat profusely, and my heart was conflicted because of the emotions that had just been confirmed: "You hold me like this, I, I can't breathe, you, you let go first, okay?"

"Don't go," Jiang Beisheng, whose mind was more confused than mine, obviously regarded me as a wound in the depths of his soul that was not easy to touch, no matter how I struggled, I was like a lost soul, just obeying the call of consciousness and insisting on what he thought should be insisted on. Between the mixed words of wine, every word that was spit out was contaminated with a heavy and sad atmosphere, which made people feel a faint sadness: "Don't want me, don't always leave me alone." ”

Trying to bring a deeply drunk person back to his senses is tantamount to scratching his boots.

But once people panic, no matter how simple and clear the truth is, it will often be like an item on the shelf, which is out of reach for a while.

"Beisheng, calm down, listen to me......"

"Why don't you all want me? Why do you all dislike me? What did I do wrong, you tell me. ”

"I didn't want you, I didn't dislike you, can you let me go first?"

"You don't want me, you all hate me, why?

"I ......"

The world is getting smaller and smaller, but the distance between people is getting farther and farther away, and loneliness and loneliness have long become the taste of contemporary people's silent enjoyment and habits. This is a regret after the progress of civilization in this era, and it is also an incurable disease of this era.

But Jiang Beisheng's resistance to loneliness and loneliness is obviously unrelated to this condition, and the hurt he suffers seems to come from a deeper emotional deficit.

Being able to cause such a big lack of emotion is generally caused by the absence of family roles. Jiang Beisheng's father died early, and his mother broke off contact with each other after remarrying, in the past 30 years of his life, the family role is not only absent, it has reached the point of missing, no wonder he will panic and be left behind.

I remembered the anger he felt when he first said this to me in Beijing, and pity suddenly rose in my heart.

"Beisheng, don't worry, I won't leave you. Although I don't know who he thinks of me as something to rely on, at this moment, I suddenly don't want to worry about him, just gently patted his slightly trembling back, like coaxing a crying child, and said in an extraordinarily soft tone: "I'm not leaving, can you lie back?"

"Don't leave me. ”

"Don't worry, no one will leave you behind. ”

"Don't leave me. ”

……

I heard that there are three states of drunkenness, the primary state of knowingly committing crimes, the intermediate state of sleeping with your head covered immediately after vomiting, and the unconscious state of returning to the basics.

I stayed at the head of the bed, looking at Jiang Beisheng, who had finally been lying down again, and remembered the love letter that had been wishful thinking, and sighed in my heart: "Beisheng, if I really like you, you, what will you do?" asked the ghost.

“…… Repudiation. ”

The person on the bed was drunk and hazy, my mind was clouded, and before the words came out, tears flowed first.

Sure enough, it was another moth to the fire, and sure enough, I shouldn't have taken the initiative to fall in love with anyone.

Luckily, this time he was drunk and I was sober.

Love, before it begins, is about to end......

(To be continued)