The road back to school is becoming more and more familiar, and on the main road in front of the door, there are many young couples from surrounding schools who come out to roll the road at night, so even at night, it is always crowded. The forked paths are full of special shops, and the food and clothing are for the surrounding students, and the prices are very affordable. Further inside, there are some Internet cafes and KTVs, because most of the people who come and go are students, so they don't look like glamorous lights, but like ordinary entertainment venues.

When I was with Chen Mo before, we often came here to hang out, and every time Chen Mo was afraid that I would be squeezed out, he held me tightly in his arms with one arm. The spicy tang on the corner of the street is my favorite food, and further inside, there is a hot pot restaurant that Chen Mo likes the most, and the ring given to Chen Mo was bought in the boutique on the next street, and the circle I wore on my birthday was bought by Chen Mo in the shopping mall next to it, and I saw that the dress was expensive, but Chen Mo was afraid that I would be pressured to buy it in a small foreign trade store. . .

These pasts, which I thought had been forgotten, were gradually magnified as the camera pulled in, and I saw more and more clearly, the corner of his eye secretly slanted at Chen Mo, he didn't say a word, his cold side face couldn't see the emotion, the other hand holding the steering wheel was a little far away from me, I don't know if the left hand I saw that day was carrying the ring I gave him at the beginning.

The car leaned against the West Gate, and I never came back here in the years since I graduated. It's not that I'm ruthless to my alma mater, which has cultivated me for four years, but that my love for Chen Mo and our meow are buried in this university. Even when I occasionally pass by in the car, I deliberately turn my head away from looking at it. Reminiscing about the injury and avoiding it.

I didn't want to speak with a heavy heart, Chen Mo parked the car and said, "Zhen Rou, take me to see Meow Meow." ”

If he said, "Zhen Rou, let's go to dinner" or "Zhen Rou, walk around with me", I would still refuse, but Meow Meow belongs to the two of us, and I have no right not to let him see it.

Pushing the car door and getting out of the car, walking in front, Chen Mo quickly caught up and stood on my left side, separating me from the crowd. A few years have passed, and there seems to be no change in this bustling school, even the holly on the road is still the height of the year, and someone will help them take care of it after the flower branches are leaning out, if people's feelings are divided, but no one can clean it up completely, human beings are such creatures, it really makes no sense.

After getting off the bus, Chen Mo was also a little absent-minded, and he didn't come to talk to me, we were immersed in our own hearts, carefully avoiding the crowd and walking forward.

When I came to the place I remembered, I was in a trance. The original small warehouse has been demolished, and there are more weeds, and if it weren't for the shape of the bulge I made at the beginning and the big stone that I easily found to press on the bulge, maybe I wouldn't have been able to find the location of Meow Meow again.

The vegetation on Meow's grave is extraordinarily tall, and there is even a small purple unknown flower on it, indifferent with liveliness and agility, writhing in the breeze with a lazy posture, the appearance of Meow Meow in memory coincides with it miraculously, at first it is lying on our laps stretching and yawning, and then suddenly the painting wind turns to the way it leaves, I quickly retract my mind, I can't bear to recall.

Meow Meow's helpless eyes have been lingering in front of her for a long time. Choked up and pointed to Chen Mo, he couldn't help but cover his eyes with his hands to prevent tears from flowing out. Through the heavy moisture in his eyes, I saw him slowly crouching down in front of the bulging mound, his right hand through the grass, gently caressing the place, just like many years ago, Meow Meow nestled on my lap, his left hand wrapped around my shoulder, and his right hand stroked Meowmeow's head for a while. Although most of the time, this hand will reach into my face and turn into holding my face and rubbing it gently with my lips.

For a moment, I wondered what we would have been like now if we hadn't broken up. Can we get married? If we do, will we already have our children? Meow Meow must also have a bunch of kittens, will our children like to play with Meow?

The fantasy in his mind was interrupted by Chen Mo's voice, and he asked with a trembling voice: "Ah Rou, I'm sorry, I didn't protect you well, and the meow that day must have hurt a lot." You must have been in pain that night. ”

I didn't speak, the oncoming wind stung my eyes a little, and a pool of water overflowed, and I turned away not to let him see it.

After a long time, he replied after his emotions calmed down: "It hurts a lot, but even if it hurts again, it has faded now." After all, it was because of me, and I'm sorry for it. But you don't need to apologize to me, there's nothing wrong with choosing the person you love. ”

Chen Mo sighed deeply, didn't speak for a long time, and finally patted the position next to Meow Meow and said, "Arou, you can sit with me for a while." ”

I turned around and said, "No. "I said I didn't need him to apologize, but I was still angry in the end, but I didn't want to quarrel with him in front of Meowmeow, so instead of suppressing it here, it was better to leave as soon as possible.

Chen Mo changed his reason: "Then you and I can sit with Meow Meow for a while." ”

After all these years, he can still easily break my disguise and know how to persuade me. I stepped over the stone steps of the lawn, walked to Meowmeow's side, and sat down one meter away from Chen Mo.

Chen Mo glanced at me, moved his ass over, and I quietly let myself move farther away, and after tossing a few times, he finally sat down obediently at a distance from me.

Unlike the night on which Meow was buried, the moon was bright and even a little dazzling.

"Chen Mo, do you know? I dug a pit with my own hands to bury Meow Meow, when I covered the first handful of soil, my heart was really dripping blood, can you imagine what it would look like in the end? The eyes were wide, the pupils were dilated, the hair on the body was stuck together with blood and gravel, the limbs were straight, and the head was tilted back, it was a desperate posture. Until now, the last appearance of it will appear in my dreams. In my dreams it kept looking at me and wailing at me sadly, as if to say, 'Why didn't you come back and take me away before they mistreated me?' and as if to complain to me: 'Why did you offend those people and let them suffer this unjustified calamity?' In my dream, I tried desperately to run over and take it out of there, but my legs were firmly fixed and I couldn't move. Anxiety and despair are intertwined, pain and reluctance fill every cell of me. At that time, I really hated you, but more often, I really hated myself, hated myself for not being able to do myself, knowing that we were not people of the same world, I still couldn't help but fall into it, and in the end not only embarrassed myself but also lost Meow's life. ”

Chen Mo looked at me seriously, his brows locked deeply, and under the moonlight, there seemed to be a crystal surging in his eyes. Suddenly, he came over with a "sigh", pinched my chin with his right hand, and kissed it hard.

I tried to break free, but he directly pressed me to the ground, and my whole body restrained me, and I became extremely angry, and the grievances I had suffered many years ago were suddenly vented because of his behavior, and I kicked and bit him like crazy, and roared like crazy. He didn't let go of my resistance no matter how much he resisted, and he didn't move his mouth away until the smell of blood came out of my lower lip.

The confinement of my hands did not relax, Chen Mo's eyes rippled in the night, I couldn't see clearly what kind of expression I was in her eyes at this time, I was full of anger just now, but looking at the pain in his eyes, I couldn't get up.

Chen Mo finally let go of me, stood up one step ahead of me, stood with his back to me in the night, I couldn't see the expression on his face clearly, I buried my head in my lap, trying to digest my negative emotions. After a long time, he turned around to reach out and pull me up, but I ignored him and stood up on my own.

"Arou, I've been wondering, have you ever loved me for so many years. You had your problems back then, but you never asked me about my troubles. Although I went to the United States, I couldn't let go of you in my heart, I contacted you in all the ways I could, but after 4 months, you didn't hear back, and after a big drunkenness, I finally understood that if a person doesn't want to have anything to do with you anymore, she won't reply to you for four months. ”

"Arou, when you were with me, you often had absent-minded moments, I didn't feel anything at the time, and then I thought about it, you should have had reservations at that time. That's why you let it go so thoroughly. ”

I listened to his questioning, and my heart was mixed. "Chen Mo, what kind of situation it was back then doesn't matter now. You're doing well now and looking more sparkling than before. I'm also fine, no one around me knows about my past anymore, and that's the peace I want. ”

Chen Mo ignored my remarks, looked at me fixedly, and asked, "Arou, did you really love me?"

I can't understand him tonight. "Chen Mo, I loved you, but I also hated you. What you see is not as thorough as what you see. When you suddenly disappeared for seven days, Xiao Lin came to me and said that you had been with her for seven days without sleep, saying that I was just her stand-in, and I thought at that time, my love may be worthless in your eyes. Later, when you came to me again, I was thinking, you should like me to some extent, but you don't love me as passionately as Xiao Lin. However, Chen Mo, what I want is not to be someone else's stand-in, I want to be someone else's only lover. ”

Chen Mo grabbed my shoulder hatefully and shouted, "Arou, you didn't even give me a chance to tell you what happened in those seven days. ”

I slammed his hand hard, "Chen Mo, I only believe what I see with my eyes and hear with my ears." ”

Chen Mo's hand became more powerful, and his voice was hoarse: "But what you see and hear is not everything, Ah Rou... ”

I broke his hand away, wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes, and replied lightly: "Chen Mo, you've seen meow too, I want to go back." ”

Chen Mo seemed to want to say something but swallowed it in the end, he has always been proud, and at this point, he should not want to go deeper.

Chen Mo insisted on sending me downstairs, but I still refused him, got out of the car at the entrance of the community, and the cold wind blowing on me made me shiver.

I couldn't calm down, and I was a little absent-minded when I went upstairs, I thought that I could look at this past very plainly, but when the past that had hurt reappeared, my heart still hurt faintly.