This fond memory came to an abrupt end in the summer when I was in my second year of junior high school. After the weather turned hotter, my grandmother's health became worse and worse, and my father tried to take her to the hospital several times, but my grandmother always refused, but her strong spirit was finally exhausted in the increasingly hot days. After a sudden fainting and hospitalisation, she never got back up.

That day, I said goodbye to my classmates as usual and went home by myself, after opening the door, it was my grandmother who greeted me, I haven't seen her for a long time, excitedly threw myself around her and went back and forth, my grandmother didn't laugh with me as usual, she grabbed me, held my hand and said: "Xiaorou, your grandmother is not in good health, she suddenly fainted this afternoon and was sent to the hospital, and she is still in a coma." Your parents are in the hospital and can't take care of you, so let me come over and stay with you. ”

I was stunned for a long time, trembling and asked, "What do you mean? I may never see my grandmother again?" Grandma took me in her arms and comforted me: "Good child, the doctor will do his best, your parents will take care of her, and when she wakes up, I will take you to see her." ”

I finally understood why I was inexplicably flustered at school in the afternoon, and it was my grandmother who had an accident. Looking at Grandma's expression again, I'm afraid Grandma's state is very bad. For so many years, my grandmother and I have never been separated, and this only separation is separated by the door of life and death.

I couldn't convince myself to wait quietly at home for news, so I choked up and said, "I'm going to the hospital, I have to watch my grandmother wake up!" My grandmother's several persuasions were rejected by me, and in the end she couldn't resist me and took me to the hospital.

When I was about to arrive at the hospital, an inexplicable feeling of suffocation began to come up, and the sense of foreboding became stronger as I walked into the hospital. The summer wind blew, and a chill penetrated from the surface of the body into every cell, and for thirty-nine days, it was like being pressed and stuffed into an ice cellar, so cold that even breathing seemed to be frozen.

At the door of the care room, my father sat on the bench and stared at the door, my mother sat on one side and gently put her hand on his body and did not speak, I stood at the end of the corridor and did not dare to raise my step and continue to walk forward, my grandmother held my hand tighter and asked me: "If you don't want to go, let's go home, and come back when grandma wakes up." ”

I trembled and asked her, "Grandma, am I about to lose her?" ”

My grandmother held me in her arms and cried, "Silly children, everyone has a life, and those who are alive must live well for them." Besides, it's not the worst yet, you have to be sensible so that your parents can focus on taking care of grandma. ”

I took a few deep breaths and walked towards my parents, who saw me coming, looked up and nodded without speaking, but her eyes turned red all of a sudden. My father didn't seem to notice my arrival, and kept his eyes on the care room. The collar of his shirt was open, and the blood stains on his arms had dried up, and the hard blood stains had wrung out strange patterns on his clothes, strange dark red. Even the hair that has always been obedient is scattered between the foreheads, the eyes are red, and the whole person is haggard.

My father, usually elegant, or cold, gentle or strong, I have never seen him like this. I have the impression that his hair is always clean on the top of his head, his beard is clean, and there is not a single gray stain on the collar of his white or blue shirt. But at this time, my father was full of despair and helplessness, and it hurt me to see that there was a pair of small hands desperately tearing on my chest.

I sat on the sidelines and didn't dare to speak, as if as long as I didn't speak, things could get better, grandma would survive this collision with death, and we could live happily together as a family for a long time. The four of us had a tacit understanding that each of us was silent, and neither of us wanted to upset the balance.

When the doctor came to check on the situation, my father finally got up from his chair, looked at the doctor, twitched the corners of his mouth a few times, and asked with difficulty, "How long will it take for my mother to wake up?"

The doctor patted him on the shoulder and replied, "It's a miracle that the old man's physical condition has survived until now, the cancer has spread to the bone marrow, and other organs have failed, you must be ready at any time." Even if she wakes up, there won't be too much time, she still has any unfulfilled wishes, you try to satisfy her, as for when she will wake up, I can't guarantee it, let's observe first. ”

The father sat back in his chair, and the doctor sighed and turned away. They should be used to this kind of thing, but no matter how commonplace it is, it should still be a little unbearable to see others in pain. I looked at my grieving father, every word the doctor said echoed in my head, and every little illusion I had had had was shattered.

The four words "birth, old age, sickness and death" were just a simple idiom before, and when this idiom flew to us from the textbook without any warning, we were completely caught off guard.

My father suddenly burst into tears and muttered in a choked voice: "I have been studying hard, working hard, and trying not to disobey her, that is, I hope to give her a happy old age to repay her for so many years of dedication to me." When your grandfather left, I still had nothing, and the helpless feeling of "wanting to raise a son but not waiting for a kiss" hit me like a hammer on my heart. At that time, I swore that I would never let the same regret happen to my grandmother in the future. But I still haven't escaped this fate, and now I can finally let her live a good life with my own hands, but she won't wait for me. Daughter, Dad feels so useless now, I can't even keep the people I love. Seeing my grandmother lying there, I could only wait here, I couldn't do anything at all, how I hated myself like this!"

I grabbed his hand and looked at this man who symbolized "strength" in my life, crying like a helpless child at the moment, I didn't know how to comfort him, I could only cry together, my mother held us in her arms and gently comforted me, my father cried more and more, and his shaking shoulders showed his helplessness in that gray space, and I finally couldn't help crying aloud.

My mother put her arms around us and comforted us softly: "We must not fall down now, even if there is pain and unwillingness, we must temporarily suppress it." The most important thing now is to cheer up grandma so that she wakes up as soon as possible. Moreover, after grandma wakes up, you can't show grief in front of her, you can't let her know about her condition, and if the breath in her heart is relaxed, it may really not work. ”

The father nodded, sobbing and speechless, and the mother continued: "Don't worry, as long as there is a glimmer of hope, even if it is to let my mother live one more day, we can do whatever it takes, and if the money is gone, we can sell the house and car, and we will never let my mother be wronged." ”

My father put his hands around my mother and me tightly, and after a long time, he murmured, "Thank you." ”

That night, I sat in the hospital with my parents until dawn and did not wait for the news of my grandmother's awakening, considering that my grandmother was also too old to spend with us like this, my father asked my mother to send us back.

On the way home, I looked out of the taxi window at the gray world outside, and I only felt that the depression in my chest seemed to suffocate, I was so young, I never thought that I would face the loss of this loved one so soon.

After returning to school, I was absent-minded all day, the teacher's mouth opened and closed in front of my eyes, but I didn't hear a word of what was said, until the table stabbed me twice with his elbow, I came back to my senses, the English teacher on the podium looked at me with a puzzled face, and I responded to her with a blindfolded face. The teacher pointed to the question on the blackboard and asked me for the answer. Fortunately, I usually have a good foundation, and after reading the question clearly and giving an accurate answer, the teacher let me sit down.

My tablemate put his face on me with a book and asked, "What's wrong with you?" I wrote in my notebook: "It's okay" to show him, and he took his head out of the book suspiciously and ignored me. My awkward personality, which I don't like to talk to others when I encounter things, has been a model since then. However, my tablemate, who usually has to turn the classroom upside down during class hours, sat in his seat for a day in a regular manner, and when the teacher came to class, he couldn't help but be surprised to see that he was already sitting in his seat early.

The last class of the day is self-study, which is nothing more than to let the students review the day's lessons, I really don't have the mood to continue to sit there and consume, so I told the head teacher about the situation at home, took the fake note and went directly to the hospital.

Grandma still didn't wake up in that room full of white and all kinds of instruments, and my mother asked my father to take me home and then try to rest at home, but my father waved her and refused her. I made up my mind not to trouble them, bought them dinner and took the bus to my grandmother's house by myself.

When I was waiting for the bus, I saw a familiar figure flashing by in the distance, but I couldn't remember who it was for a while. I didn't have time to dwell on such small details, so I didn't pay attention to them.