Two years of prison life have reshaped Xiangbei's way of thinking and acting.

He now has a habit of being in awe when he sees someone in uniform, standing straight and staring. Moreover, he never talks much, and he answers whatever others ask.

This alone proves that prison is truly a magical place, and any dishonest person will become honest after walking through it.

"Yes, prison warden!" After hearing Song Qingzheng's order, Xiang Bei subconsciously stood up and replied with a tall posture.

Looking around the room to the north, there is a chair directly in front of the desk, and further away, there is also a long sofa against the wall. He thought for a moment and sat down on the couch a step away from him.

"Sit down here. Song Qingzheng pointed to the chair next to the desk, and his tone was gentle.

Xiangbei was silent for a few seconds, "Yes, Warden. He was half-seated in a chair with his upper body straight.

"The head of the discipline and education section has mentioned you to me, saying that you have performed very well. I've read the last few issues of the prison newspaper, and it's a great improvement over before, thanks to your pen. Song Qingzheng said happily.

"Xie Prison Director praised me for the prison leaders' overall arrangement, and I just did what I had to do. Xiang Bei was still sitting upright with a serious expression.

"Don't be too inhibited today, let's talk like friends. Song Qingzheng tried to ease the atmosphere.

Hearing Song Qingzheng say this, Xiangbei slowly relaxed.

Song Qingzheng took a document and stood in front of Xiang Bei, "I have read your year-end evaluation and appraisal forms for the past two years. The rehabilitation in prison is very good, and there are many pluses. However, every time you fill out the form, you do not admit guilt, it is written that you have been retaliated against. That's not a good thing for your overall review. ”

Song Qingzheng put the table in his hand on the table and spoke earnestly.

At the end of each year, the prison has to fill out a form, and the prisoner has to write down his knowledge and attitude towards the crime, which is also the main way for the prison to understand the situation of the prisoner.

"Yes, Warden. Xiangbei was silent for a while, and his tone was calm, "The discipline told me that I have to admit my guilt, and if I don't admit my guilt, there is no way to reduce the sentence, I know that he is for my good." But not committing a crime is not committing a crime, this is my bottom line, and I can't compromise. ”

"Of course, a guilty plea is not the only condition for commutation," Mr. Song said, "and every year the prison receives a lot of similar feedback." Based on your current performance, a reduced sentence is no problem. Besides, your sentence is not too long, as long as you behave well, you will be able to get out soon. To the north, no matter what, there will be a new beginning when you go out. ”

"Thank you, Warden, I'll remember your words. ”

"Are you still used to your usual diet? Song Qingzheng asked.

Xiangbei knew that this was just a matter of listening, and if he really put forward an opinion, he would be a fool. After all, I didn't come to stay in a hotel, but to serve a prison sentence for reform, so I had to know it.

"The discipline is usually very good to me, and my fellow inmates have provided me with a lot of help. What I am happiest about every day now is that I can write manuscripts and publish newspapers, which is very fulfilling. "It's not polite to go north, it's a feeling. He is destined to be inseparable from the pen for the rest of his life, writing and drawing, and he has sustenance in his heart.

The recent encounter has made Xiangbei think about many things, such as the death of Noyi, such as the report letters that framed him. These things have been accumulated in my heart for a long time. He thinks that everyone will die, whether they are men, women, young or old, if they die, they are dead, and there is nothing left.

But is there really nothing? Not necessarily. For example, ideas can be left behind, and words are the carriers of ideas. Let others know what you think in your heart through words, and if the words are good enough, even after a hundred years, there will be people who are willing to read and listen. This is eternal life.

Song Qingzheng listened to Xiang Bei's words, and his heart was a lot more relaxed. The people who come in, except for those who are too violent, have to have a process of adaptation. He thought about it for a moment and decided to start today's topic.

"And one more news, uh...... It's bad news...... However, I would like to inform you anyway. ”

Xiang Bei frowned, and muttered in his heart: Very bad news, what kind of news will it be? There is a change in the sentence? There has been new progress in the case? It should be possible, Xiang Bei is reluctant to guess, he has guessed for so many years, and he has been looking forward to it for so many years, but the result is nothing.

"Just say it, warden. "It's straightforward to go north.

"Take a look at this. Song Qingzheng picked up the materials from the table and handed them to Xiangbei.

Xiangbei looked at Song Qingzheng suspiciously, and an ominous premonition struck.

"Death...... The notice ...... "Xiang Bei took the material and looked at it in alarm. When he saw the words "Zhou Xuecen", the whole person instantly froze, and his mind went blank like an explosion.

Silence, long silence.

Song Qingzheng didn't speak, and Xiangbei didn't speak.

Suddenly, his breathing to the north increased, and his face turned dark purple as if he was deprived of oxygen. He endured it for a while, and after a few seconds he suddenly had a seizure, standing up from his seat with his head in his hands, and the whole person staggered, yelled, and hysterical.

Seeing this, the discipline rushed in from outside the door and held him down with Song Qingzheng.

"What's wrong with him?" Song Qingzheng asked.

"Headache attack!" "The disciplinarian took out a bottle of medicine from his pocket, took out two pills, and stuffed them into his mouth, "He can't be stimulated by this disease, and once he is stimulated, he will attack." ”

After about ten minutes, Xiangbei gradually calmed down, and the arms and necks that were originally exposed with green tendons returned to normal, and his face became brighter.

"I'm sorry, Warden. Sorry, discipline. "Xiangbei's first reaction after regaining consciousness was to apologize. He knew that he didn't control himself and almost got into a big disaster.

"It's okay. Song Qingzheng stuffed the teacup into his hand.

Xiang Bei took the cup and gulped down.

"When did you get the root of your illness, why don't you go to the hospital to have a look?" Song Qingzheng asked.

"It was because of this case that I was checked out during my hospitalization. But it's not a big deal, and it doesn't matter now. Xiang Bei smiled faintly, looking loveless.

Xiangbei now finds that every time his headache occurs, there will be some changes in his body, such as instant memory loss, he found that he lost his memory for longer and longer every time, it turned out that he just forgot what happened when he had the attack, but now he will forget what happened a twenty minutes ago.

Another change is that every time he has an attack, the whole person will swell like a tear, and there is like a cicada chrysalis in his body trying to break out of his shell, so that he will attack the people around him uncontrollably, and the strength is surprisingly large, and several people can't hold it down.

Xiangbei regained his senses, remembered the "Death Notice", and became gloomy again.

"This was a week ago, and the materials have not been given to you. Because, I never figured out how to tell you. Song Qingzheng said frankly.

He even predicted several reactions to Xiangbei, such as losing control of his emotions and crying, or tearing up the notice and roaring. No matter what kind of reaction it is, it is human nature, and he has already thought of a plan to deal with these situations.

None of this has happened, though.

Xiangbei looked calm, and this calmness even surprised Song Qingzheng.

To the north, he looked at the Death Notice and a brief investigation report. has a general understanding of the cause and process of Zhou Xuecen's death.

"Was it because of a car accident?" said lightly to the north.

"The final investigation results showed that it was a traffic accident, and the owner of the car was drunk driving, and he has been sentenced. Originally, the car owner made civil compensation, but the family was too poor to afford to pay, so the matter was put on hold. ”

After listening to Song Qingzheng's words, Xiangbei was silent. Money or not doesn't matter to him anymore. He only had hatred in his heart, hating why Zhou Xuecen was so careless. This woman is now relieved and reunited with her son, how can she live alone?

"Is the aftermath done?" asked Xiangbei.

"It's already done. If there's anything else you need my help with, tell me. ”

Xiangbei shook his head, what else can I help? Help me see my wife one last time?

"Warden, if it's okay, can I go back?" Xiangbei didn't look up, still looking at the notice.

"Well, you go back," Song Qingzheng didn't know how to comfort him, "That...... If you have any thoughts, tell the discipline and don't hold it in your heart. ”

"Thank you, Prison Director. Xiang Bei got up, bowed slightly, and turned to leave. "By the way, you know what's going on, you know?"

"I heard from the police. Her parents came, and some friends helped with it," Song Qingzheng said, "ashes...... The ashes are put together with the child. ”

"Hmm...... Reunited. Xiang Bei squeezed out these words, and his voice was so weak, so weak that even Song Qingzheng couldn't hear what he said.

Following the discipline to the north, passing through a square and several corridors, he returned to the cell. For the entire few minutes of the journey, he walked like an out-of-body body, without a single consciousness, and walked mechanically with a shell.

The sky was overcast and a little stuffy, and it looked like it was going to rain. He suddenly stood up to the north and looked up at the sky.

"It's going to rain, isn't it?" said to himself.

The discipline also raised his head and looked at the sky: "The weather forecast says it will rain tonight. ”

"Well, it's time to go down, it's been dry for so long. ”

Xiangbei smiled and continued walking. When he returned to his cell, he lay on his bed with his head upside down, staring at the roof, his left hand still holding the corner of the notice.

Two years of prison life taught him a lot of things, including forbearance - whether it is sad or happy, it is hidden in his heart. However, he still hasn't practiced this skill to the point of perfection. I don't know how long later, he suddenly covered the notice with both hands on his face and sobbed. Tears quickly soaked the two pages, then down his cheeks and drenched the pillow.

For Xiangbei, these tears are not a way to show sadness. In fact, every tear reflects a memory, and he uses tears to pay tribute to the people he loves the most and the past they have experienced together.

A tear to commemorate their youthful time. It was a time of joy, love and innocence, and it was bitter. They are all looking forward to growing up, looking forward to breaking into society as soon as possible, and mixing up as individuals. However, it was also the best period of their lives, and even every smile and every step exuded youth.

Xiang Bei gradually remembered many things, remembering the roads they walked, the songs they heard, the restaurants they went to, and even the fights they had had. These things are becoming clearer and clearer in my mind, as if they are being framed by frame.

A tear to commemorate their humble lives. It was the hardest day of my life - a single bed, instant noodles, and a net. When I first came to this city, I was confused, then I had a small family, and then I had everyone, and all of this seemed to be set up.

They think that this hardship is only materialistic, and they are rich in the spiritual world. But later I found out that they were nothing but a lowly part of this society. Even sometimes, Xiang Bei laughs at himself with his friends, saying that he is not as good as a dog on the street, that dog only wags his tail and begs for mercy to his master, but he is inferior to everyone.

A tear to pay tribute to their warm home. It was a haven to shelter from the wind and rain – beef noodles, strollers, family photos. No matter what wind, rain, or snow is outside, they are all shut out of this harbor.

……

To the north, like a devout pilgrim, completes the entire memorial service with tears. He remembered the poem they had read together: "When the cobwebs mercilessly seized my hearth, when the smoke of the ashes lamented the sorrow of poverty, I still stubbornly spread the ashes of disappointment, and wrote with beautiful snowflakes: Believe in the future." ”

This is a verse written by the poet's index finger in the most painful moment of his life, isn't it a prayer of love?