I have known Su Fan for so many years, and this is the first time I have seen him sick, and it is really the first time.

I have the impression that he has always been in good health, as if he does not get sick.

Su Fan is probably really burned, a scoundrel like a child, no matter what I say to him, he doesn't seem to hear it, hugging my waist just doesn't want me to go.

I rolled my eyes, my phone was already prompting that there was no battery, and I had no choice but to sit down on the sofa, let him hold it, and snuggle up with him on the sofa.

Eventually, I couldn't stay up and dozed off.

In a daze, I felt that he was sweating a lot, and I felt on my forehead that the body temperature on his body seemed to be gradually receding, and I thought to myself that his fever had subsided, and I couldn't help but smile secretly, relax my nerves, and fall into a deeper stupor.

I felt that someone was messing with me, and I opened my eyes in a daze, and found that the sky outside the window was already a little misty.

Looking sideways again, I saw Su Fan looking down at me.

I felt someone messing with me just now, and I realized that he was messing with me, maybe he wanted me to sleep more comfortably, and he was adjusting my sleeping position.

After a moment's pause, I sat up and tried to sit up from his body, but he grabbed my head and pressed it back, and my head rested on his lap again.

I blinked, looking at him in the dark, calm and a little confused heartbeat.

He propped his cheek with one hand and rubbed the other on mine, giving the illusion of tenderness.

His low voice, as if coming from far away, began to talk about him: "I'm actually an illegitimate child, and my mother works in a nightclub. ”

He smiled wryly, "Even if you don't have to say it, I think you should know what she does." ”

My heart was blocked for a while, and I began to feel sorry for him, his childhood should be very gloomy, because of the gloom, so he yearns for cleanliness and light.

"She works like that, the most taboo is pregnancy, but she is pregnant, in fact, she doesn't really want to give birth to me, she just wants to fly on the branches with me to be a phoenix, and then live a good life, she calculates everything, but she doesn't want to, when she takes me to find that man, the man doesn't recognize it at all, and says that she has slept with so many men, who knows who this wild seed is, and wants him to raise a son for others, dreaming!"

When Su Fan said these words, his deep voice was exceptionally calm, but it made me uncomfortable to hear.

In the end, she was kicked out of the hotel by the man in full view. ”

His hand brushing my cheek paused, and I thought his mind was drifting to the unpleasant things of the past, and I wanted to make a sound to call him back, but I couldn't.

"Since she gave birth to me, she always has to raise her, because of this matter, the nightclub will not accept her again, because they have a rule, you can't conceive the child of the owner, she has violated the rules, she has no skills, no diploma but worships money and materials, how can she take me to gain a foothold in this society? So she had to go back to her old business. ”

"When I was very young, I always remembered some strange things, I didn't understand them at the time, but as I grew older, I always saw all kinds of men in my family, and I gradually began to understand something. ”

My heart froze, and I clenched my fists, how old was he then?

"She gave birth to me, originally to make a good life for herself, but she didn't want to add a drag bottle to herself, although she tried several times later, trying to convince the man that I was really his child, but the other party never took care of her at all, and every time she was left with hope, lost her soul, and was beaten back in embarrassment. That's why she doesn't like me and treats me fiercely. ”

After a pause, he said lightly: "I haven't gone to school since I was six years old, it seems that in addition to keeping me fed and clothed and not hungry, she has never given me extra care, until I was six years old, my world is just that ninety square meters of small house, and I never know what the outside world looks like." ”

My heart is astringent, compared to his childhood, I am indeed much happier.

"She never took me out, and even when she did, she would lock the door and leave me alone at home, and sometimes she would come back very late, and if there was nothing to eat, I would go hungry. ”

Hearing this, I felt distressed and unbearable again, I couldn't help but grab his hand on my cheek and hold it in the palm of my hand, he didn't refuse, but held my palm back.

"The child is the most sensitive, I know she doesn't like me, so I always be quiet, never annoy her, and only say to her when she is hungry, Mom, I'm hungry. But she never got tired of telling me, go find food by yourself, don't bother me. So after a long time, I really didn't bother her anymore. ”

"I don't yearn for the outside world, so I will stand on the balcony every day to look at the four-limbed willow tree downstairs, and watch those children play games under the tree, I always look at them quietly and enviously, there is a sound of the door closing behind me, I look back, I see her leading a man back, I pursed my lips and turned my head, looking at the big willow tree, I was very disgusted that she brought the man back. ”

I felt his fingertips tremble, I shook my eyes slightly, and I saw him close his eyes, and his voice became deeper and lower: "After a while, the familiar voice sounded in the room again, and I stood by the window until late at night, and then I suddenly heard a quarrel from the room, and after a while I heard her terrible tearing voice. ”

There was sadness in his body, as if a hand was grabbing his throat, and I could clearly feel his tight breathing.

But he continued: "I paused, ran over and knocked on the door, knocked until her palms were numb, and it was a long time before she opened the door from inside and ran out, naked and embarrassed. ”

I closed my eyes, these things should be the pain he buried in his heart that he didn't want to be known about, and the past he didn't want others to see the most, because it was too heavy and dirty, I really wanted him to stop talking, but his throat was astringent as if it was inflamed, and he couldn't raise his voice.

The man came out with a belt and said angrily, he spent the money, she didn't let him be happy, don't think about him letting her go today. ”

After taking a breath, he said slowly: "In fact, among the guests she received, there were also some strange habits, and she usually endured it, but she should have been uncomfortable that day, so she resisted, but it made the man unhappy, and this is what happened later." ”

His hand holding his cheek changed to rubbing his eyebrows, as if relieving some depression, and his voice continued: "No matter how bad she is, she is also the person I have relied on for so many years, and she is also my mother, seeing that man pumping her with a belt, I stepped forward to beat him, but he kicked him away, that was the first and last time she showed me a distressed and concerned expression, she ran over and hugged me, protected me in her arms, I heard the sound of the belt ringing on her. ”

He held my hand slightly, it hurt me a little, I took a breath and endured it, and continued to listen to him: "I listened to her miserable voice echoing in my ears with the man's crazy voice, as if the more excited he became, he pulled her up, threw her away, and began to vent his temper on me, looking at the man's whip, I shrank for a moment, trembling with fear, she picked up the bottle with the wine and smashed it on his head, and finally his whip did not fall on me. ”

"The man's blood flowed from the top of his head, he was even more angry, his eyes were full of scarlet, like a beast that wanted to eat people, he launched a more cruel revenge, she was tortured, she took me everywhere to hide, and finally hid in the kitchen, and saw the knife on the cutting board, she didn't think about it, she turned around with the knife and inserted it into the man's stomach, and the blood sprayed me all over the face......"

Finally he said, "Then I became an orphan." ”

As his last word fell, the atmosphere fell silent, and for a moment, none of us spoke.

The sky outside has gradually brightened, but it is still a little dark, and the weather after the typhoon seems to be bleak.