The day of the college entrance examination is approaching, and the call of Qin's grandmother and Qin's mother urging Qinyin to go to the construction site is becoming more and more urgent. Qin Yin did not tell her family how much money the sweet potato gruel shop made, but insisted on going to the store silently, working and preparing for exams. She also heard her mother say that she didn't go to the aqueduct construction site, and if she did, she would be better than her brother and sister.

and Lin Qian, since the sweet potato gruel shop made some money, Lin Qian persuaded Qin Yin that since the sweet potato gruel shop can make money, there is no need to work so hard to study. Lin Qian said, what is the purpose of going to university, isn't it just to make money? Now that there are ways to make money, do you still need to ask for hardships to get into college?

Qin Yin thought that if the word "if" could be used as an assumption, life would not be the way it used to be. For example, if I had been admitted to university, I would have been able to take the lead in the workplace like Yang Yun, and if I had stayed in the provincial capital, I would have been able to make a fortune. In life, everything can be assumed in terms of "what if, then what will happen", but in the end, nothing has changed, and everything is still the same. Isn't this the spirit of Ah Q?

Ah Q in Lu Xun's "The True Story of Ah Q" is very poor, so poor that he only has a pair of pants left, and he doesn't even have a name. However, his pathos lies not primarily in the deprivation of material living conditions, but in the distortion of his spiritual life. He was pressed to the bottom of Weizhuang's life, and anyone could bully him, but he didn't care, and often seemed to be very proud. The crux of this matter is that he has a unique method of spiritual victory, and when he is clearly beaten, he thinks: "This is his son beating Lao Tzu"; he clearly cannot do it, but he thinks: "This is something I don't want to do, but if I want to do it, I can do it a long time ago." ”

Qin Yin felt that Ah Q's forgetfulness and spiritual victory method vividly reflected the numbness of mental illness that is common in the "soul of the Chinese people". If a person lives in self-comfort all day long, and does not have any substantial changes and efforts for the future, then this person is actually Ah Q, and he is delaying himself.

Qin Yin has a bold idea, that is, he wants to be a giant, not Ah Q. She wants to get rid of the kind of entanglement that is involved and meaningless, and strive to change herself. Qin Yin tried his best to recall some of the experiences and things that he had never seen and heard of in the mottled provincial cities and special economic zones, and felt that he should be stronger to welcome and embrace these new things, instead of listening to the arrangements of his family, abiding by the rules of the small mountain village, and repeating the joys and sorrows of the mountain people from generation to generation and the life of mediocrity and vulgarity.

This kind of giant is the inner giant, which is opposed to the spirit of Ah Q, who dares to face up to contradictions, face life, and pursue higher and farther dreams through his own efforts. Qin Yin is also as strong and young as her twin sister Qin Mi, she begins to want to be herself, and with this thought, she consciously resists the worldly influence of the people around her.

Qin's grandmother and Qin's mother strongly opposed Qinyin's participation in the college entrance examination, worried that Qinyin would be like Qinmi, and sooner or later she would go away if she was admitted to college. Qin Yin patiently listened to the persuasion of Grandma Qin and Qin Mother, but did not give up her desire to take the college entrance examination. Sometimes, Qin Yin also quietly wonders, is this a kind of rebellious psychology and behavior, but her inner voice tells her that taking the college entrance examination is not only not wrong, but also noble, and has a lofty pursuit.

Qin Yin had such a psychology and successfully signed up for the college entrance examination.

That summer, when the rice was ripe, the fields were full of busy farmers. The rice was harvested in full swing, and the straws of the ears of grain were tied into scarecrows all over the mountains. The smell of the earth and the scent of the seedlings came back from the fields. The family is short of labor, so let Qinyin come home to help. Qinyin went to the county seat to take the college entrance examination.

Grandma Qin saw that only Qin's mother was busy in the field slowly, so she also tied a sickle around her waist and hurried to the field to help. On the one hand, it is difficult to vent his dissatisfaction with the college entrance examination of Qinyin: "Why is this child so disobedient? When he was a child, he was pampered, and when he grew up, it was even more difficult to train." ”

When the mother heard what Grandma Qin had just said, she felt that she was insinuating that she had not taught the children well, and that she was tired from the hard work of the countryside, so she replied angrily: "Can you teach the children?" ”

"Do you need to take out the things of 3,000 years ago and tell me, don't you see that the sound of the piano is good now, and you have become a captain?"

Grandma Jean was obviously tied to a sickle to help, but she didn't think about the field and quarreled with Mother Qin. Grandma Qin and Mother Qin quarreled for a long time. Before the rice seedlings were cut, Grandma Qin took a sickle and hurried home in a hurry. He also cursed and scolded: "If I hadn't seen you busy in the field alone, I wouldn't have wanted to go to your field!"

Qin Yin had already expected that the family would definitely talk after the college entrance examination, so they lived in a small hostel near the college entrance examination school in the county seat. Although the hostel in the county seat cost money, it saved the need to go back and forth, saved the family's face, and fought for a little more time to review the next day's exam.

At night, in the small inn in the county seat, Qin Yin secretly cried. She thought that her mother must be very busy at this moment, harvesting rice during the day and taking care of the household chores at night. She also relied on her understanding of her grandmother and mother, and her grandmother must have gone to help her mother today, and the two of them must have quarreled again when they got together. Thinking that he was almost twenty years old, not only could he not solve the difficulties of his family, but also added a lot of controversy, he was unhappy for a while, so he cried.

After crying for a while, Qin Yin felt that if he was admitted, everything would actually be worth it. She thought back to the subjects of the exam that day, and felt that she was actually quite good, and she knew a lot of knowledge, and compared with the last college entrance examination, she was estimated to be able to get a high score. If tomorrow is like today, it is estimated that it will be possible to be admitted to university, right? Thinking of this, Qinyin's heart flashed with stars, sunshine and rain, and mountains and seas of strength. In an instant, she stopped crying, took out the textbook for tomorrow's exam, and tried her best to review her homework.

Three days later, Kotone returned to the small mountain village. The scolding of Grandma Qin and Qin's mother did not appear, and Grandma Qin murmured to Qinyin as if nothing had happened, "Your mother is too busy to be alone, you have to go to the fields to help." ”

When the mother saw that Qinyin was back, she didn't blame, but asked Qinyin to help with some easier tasks such as feeding pigs and cleaning. While she was feeding the pigs, she heard her mother chatting with a woman in the village, not far from the pigsty.

The woman said, "Now the fields are distributed to each family, like your family with a small labor force, you have to be busy alone." ”

The mother said: "It's nothing if one person is busy, there are fewer people, and the output is higher than before." My family Qinyin also came back to help. ”

"Oh, didn't Qin Yin take the college entrance examination?" the woman asked.

"It's over. The mother replied easily.

"If Kotone is admitted to university, you will still have to be busy. ”

"Even if she is admitted, her family has no money and can't afford her to study, what can she do?"

……

Qin Yin silently listened to the conversation between the mother and the woman, "Oh, no wonder my mother hasn't blamed herself these days, it turns out that in my mother's heart, I have already been defeated", Qin Yin was glad that she still hid the private money that Yang Yun and Chen Lai gave her. This amount of money is enough to change his fate at a critical moment.

"If I get into college, even if you don't let me go to school, at least I still have money to control my own destiny. Koto almost muttered this sentence with a heart. She has already made up her mind to be a giant who has achieved her own things, not Ah Q after doing bad things.