Li Xijue scoffed, "It's really hypocritical." ”

"Yes, but now I don't have that kind of hypocritical thinking anymore. ”

Everything is the beginning of grief.

Lu Meilin's hypocrisy, she thinks of the person who loves her the most since she was a child, because that person left this world forever, so she will grieve.

"At that time, I was ruthlessly abandoned by you. ”

She came out coldly, which made the second monk Li Xi confused.

What does that mean? ”

"That year, the person who loved me the most passed away. Lu Meilin's eyes looked calmly ahead, as if telling a story that had nothing to do with her.

"You left me too. Although, I know I never got me, but I am happy to be with you. ”

"You'll probably never know how uncomfortable it would be for two people who were both important to me to leave me. ”

Li Xijue glanced at her diary, and saw that all her moods were recorded on it.

"The rain outside the window was getting heavier and heavier, and the rain was hitting the low houses of the residents outside the dormitory building, falling on the maple poplars in front of the balconies, dripping in the grass, and sprinkling on the windows, like sifting beans.

This is a spring rain, from last night, to this morning, it came unexpectedly, just like the memories of fifteen years ago, all at once flooded into my mind.

I am as sensitive to the sound of rain and water as I am to numbers, because they always remind me of rivers, lakes and seas, and then the boat in my memory - my original home - is drawn from various rivers.

Of course, when I can remember, I was not at that home, but on the fleet, with my grandparents.

Putting me with my grandparents was a reluctant decision of my parents, because, at that time, my mother happened to be pregnant with her younger brother and could not take care of me.

So, from the age of two to five, I stayed in the fleet, I don't remember much, but there are a lot of bits and pieces in my head.

For example, when the huge dragon head let out a low whimper, dragging a dozen iron boats tied to the reins like dragons on the clear river, my grandparents and the old man and old lady of a sailing company sat cross-legged on the bed of the building, in a circle, chatting about things I did not understand.

And I, who was sitting in my grandmother's arms, was focused on chatting and feeding eggs, and finally choked, spit the yolk in my mouth on the bed of the building, she patted me on the back, and looked around for a glass of water.

For example, the boat leaned against the bank of a river in the middle of nowhere, which was overgrown with trees. Because I refused to eat, my grandfather took out the spliced tin ruler sandwiched in the beam of the boat, and knocked on the table hard, the sound of "popping" was very loud, and I was punished to kneel on the bed of the building "wow" and cried, and the grandmother sitting next to him stopped his movements, holding a bowl and holding a spoon while coaxing and feeding......

For example, when the water on the coal stove boiled at night, my grandmother poured water into the basin, took off my pants, and sighed, "Xiaobao peed his pants again." ”

For example, my aunt's daughter, my only cousin, carefully led me from the shore onto the board that was not too wide, for fear that I would fall into the river, and then got into the bilge on the right, which is my grandfather's room, to watch "Journey to the West" quietly with me.

There is also an even more embarrassing one, and it is also the grandmother who died eight months ago, and when she was alive, she loved to expose jokes. That day I sat on the wooden toilet in the roadway and defecated, my coat wrapped around my belly pocket, and a thick hemp rope buckled behind my belly pocket. The boat was suddenly hit by another boat from the other side, and my body followed the toilet bowl and slid down with the force of the impact, and the toilet "poof" fell into the river, because it was an empty boat, I was suspended in the air by the rope, and did not get touched by the river.

Grandma poked her head out of the wooden window, only to see a tight hemp rope, slapped her thigh and shouted, "I'm going to die, the little girl fell into the river." ”

I don't remember this very much, and I only have a vague picture in my mind. Afterwards, my grandmother picked me up, and I stood on the roadway crying uncontrollably, and I didn't even have time to put my pants on.

Xu is frightened, Xu is ashamed, can you imagine a three- or four-year-old kid, halfway off his pants, suspended in the air by a rope, swinging like a pendulum clock on the surface of the river?

Every time my grandmother exposed my shortcomings, she had to mention it, and for 20 years, every time I mentioned it, I couldn't help but laugh at it. Now, no one has come to expose my shortcomings, and I suddenly regret it. Even if you are brave, without the sharing of the past, it will be boring.

From three to five years old, there are so many such things that I'm embarrassed to mention them again.

Before I was five years old, I had never met my parents, and I didn't know about the existence of Sister Ah and Po. At that time, I simply thought that in my own world, there were only my grandparents and me.

Outside the window, the rain that had just stopped for a while continued to fall, and the water droplets fell on the plastic baffle, and the insects chirped, faintly like the pond behind the house in summer. In my heart, I feel a little homesick.

At half past three in the morning in Nanjing, the rain outside the window was intermittent. ”

Li Xijue suddenly fell into some kind of self-blame, "I'm sorry, I don't know." ”

"How can I blame you. Lu Meilin's eyes contained tears, as if she was recalling her original mood, "At that time, you disappeared without a trace, I called you, but you didn't answer, I asked everyone about your whereabouts, and everyone said they didn't know, but I clearly knew that they knew where you were, who you were with, and what you were doing, but I didn't even have a reason to blame." ”

"Li Xijue, is it in your eyes that I was a joke, I practiced my body for you, and in the end I got no response. ”

"I'm sorry. "I'm sorry for being late for many years, but Lu Meilin doesn't feel it anymore.

"So, how about not spending a night with you today, and giving you a day?"

Lu Meilin turned her head to look at him, "You're not afraid that I will ....... you"

"You won't. Li Xijue said this almost confidently.

"You are a kind person. Li Xijue said this sentence almost as if he had made up his mind.

Lu Meilin couldn't stop laughing.

"Ouch, you really are. I really can't stand it, such corny lines. ”

"I only promised you one day, are you sure you have to waste it on these meaningless things?" Li Xijue asked rhetorically.

"Of course, of course not, why only one day, I would have said how good it would have been a few more days. ”

Compensation, just to compensate for the bad they treated her at the beginning, both of them knew this in their hearts, but no one said it, they felt that it was not necessary, and they felt that it was too hurtful.

Li Xijue decided to use this day to make up for his debt to Lu Meilin's original feelings.