At this point, the first stage of my life is completely over, and there is no mud and water, but it seems that I am a little down. My buddy left, my girl left, everything familiar around me was replaced by another strange scene, I had no place to go, I could only silently read in my heart: people must learn to grow up by themselves!

Before, in the small town, I was treated by Xiao Su and a few of them both soft and hard, often downloading all kinds of small films from the Internet, at first just watching it, and I felt a little disgusting. from

After breaking up with Lu Qiong, I tried to masturbate myself for the first time, and I actually succeeded.

During that time, I was very depressed, I was irritable, and I actually got into the vice of masturbation.

I'm talking about passion.

In a chat, Ah Fei expressed his views on passion and love, he said: When we fall in love with others, it is actually dopamine in love, so when we get along for a long time, we don't blame each other for missing love, we just act faithfully according to our own chemistry, as long as the hypothalamus is there, our love is there.

I don't know where he typed the cheat sheet, I didn't understand it.

During that time, I needed to fill the void with passion, but I used the wrong method, and in the end, I was physically and mentally exhausted, and I felt like a pervert.

After I finished doing it myself, when I was bored, I still read books and wrote, which was relatively simple, and I felt that some words sounded better than saying them, whether they made sense or not.

I think everyone can be a philosopher.

I don't think philosophers can help us much in our lives, even spiritually, on our own, and their philosophies are not permanent, they can't be compared to a mathematical formula!

Usually people are not satisfied with the status quo, and do all kinds of untimely things, which are regarded as spiritual sustenance, and they toss around blindly, making joy or sorrow, and bring themselves into the so-called "valley of the heart", where they talk about their suffering, I can't understand it, but also waste time doing these things, it's really unreasonable!

If you make yourself happy, it is not in vain, and if you are still unhappy after tossing, it is a bit more than worth the loss. I think that when people are in a pessimistic mood, it is easy to become obsessed with subjective things, so they fall into a misunderstanding: reject everything you don't like!

It seems that I have been haunted by this emotion, always floating in a filthy mind, exhausted!

Perhaps, I really need to change, I need to break out of the current cage.

I am reminded of a sentence in "The True Story of A Fei": If you stay in a place for a long time, you will get tired!

So in October, I graduated from high school and went to college. I knew that no matter how much I decorated, I couldn't have anything to do with that school, I was just studying in it.

But that's enough, anyway, I also have a college life, and I also know that this turn is a little faster!

Growing up so big, it was the first time I left my hometown and ran to a distant city, I was a little reluctant, but I was more looking forward to the future.

Saying goodbye to my family, one morning I got on a bus to Suzhou with my companions.

After several reversals, I arrived at the gate of that university at more than 8 o'clock in the evening.

The teacher placed me in the same dormitory as a few of my fellow travelers, and I got to know some friends again.

I said that if you don't make a new person, it looks like you're going to break your promise, so whatever, there's nothing wrong with that.

When I first arrived, I was not familiar with the place, so I was very kind to the fellow villagers who came together, and soon got together, including me, Qingqing, Panpan, Haibin, Xiao'an, as well as Xiuxiu and Meifeng, we five boys in a dormitory, and the other two girls in a dormitory with other girls, in and out of the same house every day, completely like brothers and sisters in a family.

On the second day after arriving in Suzhou, we wandered around Yangdong Road for more than ten miles in the evening, and I was full of curiosity about everything there, including the street lamps on both sides of the road, which made me feel inexplicably excited, as if I had discovered a new world.

That's really passionate, not tired at all, and the word freshness is vividly displayed in a few of us.

At that time, I had just come out of high school, but unfortunately it became more hopeless.

Our classroom is located on the first floor of Building A, which has four rows of computer desks and about 30 seats. The rest of the students, both men and women, came from different places, and we were the last ones to come.

The teacher asked us to introduce ourselves, and we were all very shy, repeating what the previous person said one after another, basically except for the different names, the other introductions were similar.

For example, like this: Hello everyone, my name is Chen Zhuo, from Shancheng, 19 years old this year, the specialty of my hometown is pears, especially delicious, welcome to my hometown to play, please eat pears when the time comes.

Hello everyone, my name is Shao Qingqing, 19 years old this year, from Shancheng, like Chen Zhuo said, our hometown specialty pears, really sweet and delicious, this year's pears are out of season, I invite you to eat next year.

Hello everyone, my name is Lu Xiuxiu, I am 18 years old this year, I am also from the mountain city, in addition to pears, there are many fruits in our hometown......

The other students were stunned when they heard it, funny and embarrassed, thinking that these people were really dirt babies who had never seen the world.

There's no way, Mandarin has not yet come out of the world, and it is already very good if you don't say anything!

Let's familiarize myself with the environment first, and I also peeked at the other students.

My eyes wandered around the classroom, and my eyes fell on a girl, wearing a high-necked sweatshirt, sitting in front of the computer, and a girl next to me was laughing, she called the girl's sister, looking at her two little tiger teeth, I was instantly fascinated.

Her name is Wen Yu.

At that time, I came from a small place and had low self-esteem, never took the initiative to talk to other girls, I chatted with my fellow villagers for a few days, for Wen Yu, I didn't say a word to her at first, and I didn't think that I would fall in love with her in a daze.

One afternoon, Qingqing and I were walking to the classroom after dinner, while chatting, I looked ahead, wasn't that Wen Yu and Yao Ling (her sister)?

I said to Qingqing, "Look, that woman, is it good-looking?"

Qingqing smiled and said, "What, do you have an idea?"

I tilted my head and said to Qingqing, "Do you think I can chase her?"

He said, "I don't know, you can try." ”

I laughed and said, "I'll just make a joke for you." ”

At this time, Wen Yu seemed to hear someone laughing behind her, turned her head and saw us, I smiled at her, she turned around and walked faster, and her steps were lighter than before.

I felt that she was interesting to me and thought: What a cutie!