"Eldest sister, you tell me the truth, why does my mother want to go back?"

My eldest sister thought about it again and said, "She talked to me on the phone two days ago, and she said that she was not used to living in a small house, she and I lived in a 120-square-meter house at home, and she said that the small house was on the first floor, and the ventilation was not very good, and she felt a little stuffy." ”

The eldest sister's house was distributed from Chen Sheng during the divorce, and after Chen Sheng stopped looking for the eldest sister, my mother was getting older and older, so she lived with the eldest sister, so that the two could take care of each other.

I said, "You have also lived in that house, it is transparent from north to south, and the lighting is good, and I bought the first floor because she is not tired of climbing the stairs, how can it not be transparent?"

"Hehehe!" the eldest sister suddenly laughed, "I don't know this, I have to ask my mother about this feeling, and she said that it doesn't feel transparent, and the old man's feelings are different from ours, right? ”

"But your house is on the fifth floor, doesn't she have a leg ache when she climbs the stairs? If he is not afraid of climbing the stairs, I can also buy her the fifth floor, which is cheaper, but I really can't afford to buy a house of 120 square meters here with us now."

I didn't say this with emotion, I was telling the truth in my heart, and there was nothing choking and hiding between my sister and brother, and my eldest sister was not unhappy.

She just smiled and said, "We can't control what the old man thinks, my second sister and I both know that you have done your best, then my mother can do whatever she wants, and when she wants to go to you, let her go, she won't go if she doesn't want to, you don't have to think about it, I and your second sister both know that you and Jiang Xi have filial piety! So she is gone, you can still live a good life as before, and you don't have to have any psychological burden."

"I'm sorry that I didn't do a good job of filial piety to my mother," I said.

The eldest sister smiled again and said, "Don't think like this, what you and Jiang Xi have done for her mother, she knows in her heart, she feels that you and Jiang Xi want to be filial to her, and she will be happy, as for how to live, it depends on how comfortable she is." ”

The eldest sister said so, and I could only say, "That's okay, it's the only way, then I'll send my mother back on the weekend, and if my mother wants to come in the future, you can send her again."

"Okay, okay!"

It was settled, and my mom was gone. To be honest, I really regret that I worked so hard to borrow 700,000 yuan, and I was under the pressure of repayment, just so that my mother could enjoy the family fun brought by my son by my side, but the old man always has the habits and ideas of the old man, and I can only follow her.

In the dead of night, when Jiang Xi and I were lying in bed, I talked about it, and I still had a look of regret.

Jiang Xi said, "It's nothing, since your mother won't come to live, we'll rent out the house." ”

I said, "What if she wants to come back in two months?"

Jiang Xi looked at me expressionlessly and said, "Although she is your mother, she can't be unreasonable, she can rent a house of more than 3,000 a month, and it is impossible for her to stay there once in a while, if she only comes to live occasionally, let her make do with us, when she is going to stay for a long time, we will return the tenants, so decided!"

Me, "......".

I can see that Jiang Xi is also a little unhappy about this matter, after all, the two of us paid a lot for this matter at that time, and it was a good toss, just hoping to do a filial piety, but it didn't succeed. But she didn't say anything, just improvised.

I thought about it carefully, and I think she was right to do this, after all, our family has a loan of 700,000 yuan, and the monthly repayment is 5,000, and there is still pressure, and renting out the house can be a good relief for more than 3,000 yuan per month.

Our life has returned to its original state, I want to be filial to my mother's heart and my desire to live a two-person world have been disappointed, there is nothing happy or unhappy, depending on this is life, we don't have to be too serious, go with the flow, as long as we are with the people we love, whatever.

The only thing I am more concerned about and worried about is that I hope that there will be no problems with my work, however, in 2017, the cold snap belonging to middle-aged employees in the IT industry really came, and in the midst of the crisis, the landmark event was that an engineer of a large state-owned enterprise, leaving behind his two children, his wife, orphans and widows, and his elderly parents, ruthlessly jumped from a high-rise building to his death.

In the eyes of the layman, that incident may only be seen as a story, but in the eyes of us insiders, it is a major accident and a sign of a crisis.

The entire IT industry was in turmoil, and I felt as if I was on that precarious Titanic. During that time, I had insomnia every day!

Sure enough, my company also has a layoff crisis, and all employees around the age of 40 are laid off, but the company will not directly lay off employees, because direct layoffs will give employees N (working years) + 1 compensation, so the company will use various methods to transfer employees to positions that are not suitable for him, so there will be two results......

The first result is that the employee is unable to fill the new position, and has no choice but to find a new job on his own, regardless of whether the employee has found a new job or not, as long as he or she resigns, the company does not need to give the employee any compensation.

The second result, the employee in the unsuitable position, will inevitably do a bad job, and can not produce performance, then the company will at the right time, put forward a certain employee's performance is not up to standard, so reasonable dismissal of an employee, in this way, there is no need for the company to compensate the employee.

This is probably a cat that many companies like to play, whether it is a state-owned enterprise or a foreign company, and this kind of cat is so bad that the already weak employees have no way to complain, because the company has not violated China's labor law, they are taking advantage of the labor law loopholes to lay off employees in disguise.

If an employee has to go to arbitration or a lawsuit for a few months' salary, the chance of winning is only 10%, and it may take a year and a half.

During that time, each of our employees was panicked, cautious in words and deeds, deeply afraid that this cold current would blow on themselves, working the surface, desperately sending resumes behind the scenes, entrusting people to contact work, but almost every company's feedback message was, "Our company is also laying off employees, and we do not accept any social recruitment for the time being." ”

It is conceivable that in our hearts, what kind of fear will there be, not only for employees, but also for the management class, because unless the management class is particularly good and can bring performance, otherwise, the salary is high, and it is even more difficult to find a job?

In short, the entire IT industry is very cold.

What worries me the most is that I was one of those who was transferred to a position that was not suitable for me in the wave of layoffs.

Before this happened, I didn't tell Jiang Xi about the panic in my heart, of course, I didn't want her to follow me in a hurry and get angry, but after this incident, I thought about it carefully, I couldn't hide it from her anymore, lest the matter be serious and catch her off guard.

After dinner that day, I said to Jiang Xi, "I may lose my job, I have been transferred to a position that is not suitable for me, I am at a loss now, I don't know if I should accept this job, if I accept, I may be the person who was fired for bad performance in the future, and I will not get a penny of compensation, because this is a conspiracy at all." If I don't accept it, I haven't found another job yet, and I may have to cut off my income, and my family will face a big economic crisis. ”

After listening to my words, Jiang Xi did not panic, and still said calmly, "I think it's okay, our pressure is not so great, do you think that if you don't say anything during this time, I don't know the information of the IT industry? I have already thought about it, if you are unemployed, we will move to a small house, this big house can be rented for nearly 6,000 yuan, the house in Hangzhou can be rented for about 3,000, adding up to more than 9,000, excluding the 5,000 or so of our monthly loan repayment, our family can still have 4,000 yuan of living expenses, maybe the economy is tight, but there is no inability to live. ”

"What if there is an accident, or if you get sick?" is what worries me the most.

Isn't there a good saying? What we ordinary people are most afraid of is that there is something else to be sick and nothing else to have money. And isn't the biggest gap between the rich and the poor just a disease?

Jiang Xi smiled and said, "If I really need money so much, I'll sell a house, we were never afraid of anything before, what is there to be afraid of now?"

I saw Jiang Xi's confidence on her sunny smiling face, she seemed to have thought everything through and made adequate preparations, but this time, I still couldn't feel at ease and happy.

In the dead of night, after Jiang Xi fell asleep, I got up alone and walked to the window of the living room, I looked at the vast night outside, and the face of the employee who jumped off the building always appeared in front of my eyes.

I don't know why, my mind seems to be stuck in a dead end, and I can't help but try to figure out his psychology, because I am facing the same problem as him.

It was reported on the news that the conditions of his family were not very bad, and although he had a mortgage, it was not that he would be unemployed and could not survive, but why did he choose to jump down......? Actually, it seems to be somewhat understandable.

If we are about 50 years old, if we say that we will retire, we may be more acceptable mentally, but at the age of 40, we will say that we will retire? And we, the Internet workers, seem to be unable to do anything after retiring.

I have read a post before, which roughly means that people should not keep a road to the dark, while walking a road, they must be prepared with both hands to prepare a second way of retreat for themselves, and he also took the author of "Forensic Qin Ming" as an example, saying that a doctor has prepared a second way for himself to be a writer, if his profession as a doctor cannot be done, he can also retreat to become a writer, and he will never feel hopeless in life because he has lost his profession as a doctor.

But how many of us programmers in the IT industry have prepared a second way for ourselves? At least I don't, I don't have that ability, I can't cope with overtime and overtime every day, how can I have the spirit and ability to prepare a second way for myself?

I think that in addition to working in an IT company, people with a character like me really have no choice, and I don't have the confidence to do other things well, so when faced with such a thing, it will make people feel that there is no way out, this is not only a matter of money, as if dignity has been trampled on, we have read so many books, we are often called high-tech talents, but we have just reached the age of forty, it is the stage of rich experience and can shine, but we are suddenly abandoned by this society?

That feeling of failure will make us feel a kind of indescribable depression and despair.

If you jump from the eighteenth floor, you will definitely have a very cool feeling, "bang", all failures and helplessness will disappear, and others can't take care of it, so let's get rid of it first!

For a moment, I could especially understand the engineer who jumped off the building, if I had no worries, or on the spur of the moment, I thought, on the day I was fired, maybe I also wanted to end all this, because I didn't want to face a failed life, I didn't want to face myself who had worked so hard and failed.

Just as my head was at a dead end and my thoughts were sinking deeper and deeper, I heard Jiang Xi's shout from the bedroom, "Ahhh

Her exclamation interrupted the dark thoughts in my heart, my beloved wife, who always touched my heart.

I rushed to the room and saw her sweating profusely and looking horrified.

The moment she saw me, she hugged me in her arms and cried out, "Husband! I dreamed that you also jumped off the building, you must not think about it! We are not short of money, how can we live a good life, I have a way to make you live well, even if I don't make enough money to support my family, I sell a house and we will not lack living expenses, if you feel that you have no spiritual support, I will open a restaurant for you to do, didn't the news a few days ago also report, there is a university professor who resigned to open a courier receiving point at home? University professors can do it, you can do it too, there will certainly be a lot of things to do, and you must not think about it! If you have any strengths and weaknesses, how can I live with my children? We love you so much, can you bear to let us live a heartbreaking life for the rest of our lives?"

Jiang Xi's words were like a needle, piercing the tip of my heart, causing me to wake up in pain for a moment.

What the hell was I thinking about? Could it be that I was caught up in a demon? It was the devil who tempted me to die.

When I woke up at this moment, I was shocked by my thoughts and broke out in a cold sweat, and I also want to thank my wife.

Imagine why she had such dreams, of course, because she was worried about me, and she was sensitive to the abnormalities of my emotions.

With such a wife and such a lovely child, if I still have such negative thoughts, I really don't know what to do.

Jiang Xi wiped his tears and tried to continue to persuade me, "Everyone will encounter some setbacks in their lives, husband, your life has such a wife and children who love you so much, and you have such a happy family, you have been very successful, in fact, those who can't think of suicide are not necessarily really worse than others, but their psychological endurance is poor, and there are more miserable people than them, and the mid-life crisis you are experiencing now is related to those serious illnesses, Compared to the people of the catastrophe, it is simply a drop in the bucket, what is there to seek death?"

Every time I listened to Jiang Xi's reasoning before, I felt that it was very useful, and I could gladly accept and praise it.

But this time, I just want to say that sentence, I understand the truth, but sometimes people just like to drill the horns, and it is difficult to get out of a dead end.

Seeing that Jiang Xi was so worried about me, I hid all my suffocating emotions and asked her with a smile, "Then do you say I should accept this transfer job?"

In fact, I asked her this sentence, purely to change the topic, because I have already decided in my heart that I have no choice but to accept the transfer, as for when I will find a reason to be dismissed, I can only say that one step at a time.

I really think...... I don't have a choice!

However, what I didn't expect was that Jiang Xi gave me another answer!

vertex