I'm sleepy, I'm really sleepy, I can't open my eyes. My chest doesn't hurt anymore, so let's stop the rescue. And what happened? Is she dead or alive? Why does she feel so cold, so she is dead? What about this feeling of not being able to breathe? Do you still need to breathe when you are dead?

Suddenly I opened my eyes, and what caught my eye was a concrete road. Gratgy and looking up, good fellow, she was sitting on the side of the concrete road. Looking around, in this familiar environment, she is really dead, and this soul has drifted back to her hometown by herself, right?

The winding mountain road, the cliffs outside the cement pier behind her, the small waterfall not far away, and the bridge she had walked on for many years. This is not her rural hometown? This road, she went to school for nine years, and walked weekends for nine years. Back five times a week, every Sunday. To be honest, she went to the Internet café several times to stay up all night, and the next day, she almost touched her home with her eyes closed.

She always felt that after her parents divorced, this was no longer her hometown. Except for two years, when she came back for the New Year to give red envelopes to her grandparents, she really never came back.

So what's going on now? Do you want to float back and see your grandparents? Look, see.

Walking in a daze, I walked for about twenty minutes, and finally walked to Xiayang Village, which I had to pass when I went home. Looking at the sun, it should be noon, under the big sun, she feels cold, but she is dead.

It is estimated that it was lunch time, and I didn't see anyone in the village. Out of the village, another five minutes' walk is her Puzhou Village.

The first one at the head of the village was a small shop, and it was separated from her house by an ancestral hall and a cowpond. It's been a long time since I've been back, and the pears at the door of this house are still growing well.

"Ahh ”

The lady is still enthusiastic, and she always asks every time she sees her. I didn't understand it when I was a child, but now I know that this woman is a long-tongued woman who loves to chew the root of her tongue. She didn't bother to talk to her, waved her hand, and walked to her door. Even if it is locked and locked, this broken door still opens with a push, and it is useless.

Staggered up the stairs to the second floor, which was my parents' room.

Hmmm? Daddy? No, wait! Just now, the woman across the street greeted her? Did she greet her? Can she see herself?

I was feeling surprised, thinking about whether the woman on the other side was yin and yang. In the room, Dad, who was packing up his things, took a lukewarm look and asked, "Why did you come back?"

She looked behind her, and there was no one but her. So, he can see her, too! Wait, pack your things. She was a little skeptical, but she didn't dare to believe it. Walk up to the green wardrobe with the snowflakes, and the parents got into a fight and smashed half of the mirror.

She couldn't believe she saw herself, her hands on her knees, hunched over to look in the mirror. The sixteen-year-old self who wore ugly cotton pants and pink short sleeves.

Isn't she dead? Isn't she supposed to be twenty-eight years old? At the bedside, after my father finished asking, he didn't get an answer, and he didn't continue to ask. Instead, he continued to pack up a few clothes and stuffed them into a nylon sack.

If she remembers correctly, today is the day Dad is running away from home. It was the day she came home from school because of a fever of 40 degrees.

She came home that day and told her dad that she had a fever. He packed up his things, and said without any concern or worry, your mother is playing cards at the family house behind, you go to her. Then she went to find her mother, who touched her head, apologized to the aunt who was playing cards with her, and took her to the only small clinic in the village that she didn't know was formal. It's not so much a clinic as a doctor's home.

At this moment, he looked at the back of his father who was packing his things. I thought, if my father hadn't run away from home, would he have divorced my mother as soon as he came back, and if he hadn't left, wouldn't he have divorced? But what if he didn't get divorced? This father, whom he had always felt irresponsible, would no longer need her father in the following years.

After reading so many novels, she didn't have the slightest doubt about the word rebirth, and even felt that she didn't need time to adapt.

"Dad, I have a fever, you can take me to the hospital. ”

She wanted to give him a chance, and if he took her to the hospital, she would forgive all the dreamlike past.

"Your mother is playing cards at the teacher's house in the back, you go to her. ”

Heh~ exactly the same line.

"Why can't you take me there?" busy packing up and looking for ...... "Looking for your affair elope, huh?"

When she was a child, she was always inexplicably afraid of adults, all adults. Among them is her, a father with whom she rarely communicates. She was halfway through her sentence and didn't want to say anything. It doesn't matter why he ran away from home, let's go, this dad abandoned her once twelve years ago today, and it doesn't matter if he has one more time.

"Don't you see that I'm busy? Your mother is so idle, she plays cards every day, go to her. ”

It's very busy, so be it, from today onwards, you're no longer my dad.

Still groggy, he went downstairs and sat down on the steps. In the era when rebirth novels were just popular, she had thought about her countless times of traveling, being reborn, and then walking to the pinnacle of life. Later, she didn't want to be reborn, she thought about dying, because she felt that even if she was reborn, she would still be a lazy waste. Right now, she thought she was dead, but she was born again. It wasn't the summer she expected to drown. It's that she doesn't feel any sense today.

Do you want to find your mother, if you don't find your mother, will you die, it's a hundred, how good. However, what if I don't die and burn to brain death? Isn't that a burden on my mother? Forget it, I am perfunctory and grateful to be reborn and go to my mother.

When she saw her mother, she suddenly fell into a trance. There is no harm without contrast, and this is true. Compared with the last mother she saw before she was reborn, this relatively young mother made her sad for a while.

She couldn't hold back her tears, but her mother just comforted: "It's okay, you won't feel bad after the injection." ”

A small clinic, a medicine cabinet, two bamboo recliners, a lame doctor. There is no smell of disinfectant water from the hospital, just a room of about 20 square meters. She sat on a bamboo chair with an old-fashioned mercury thermometer tucked between her armpits.

As in my memory, this was the only time in my life that I had a fever, forty-.two degrees. The doctor told her to take the medicine immediately and hung up a drip. When she was on the drip, the doctor told her mother that the last person she received with a fever of more than 40 degrees was the woman who stood at the door of her house all day and thought about it, that is, she might become a fool.

Hua Liangdui still lay down calmly, drowsy. She didn't have time to think about whether she would become a fool, and she was confident that she could become a child from a single-parent family as healthy as she was today before she was reborn.

Dad would leave in the truck he had borrowed money from while she hung up the second bottle of drip. It was only after knowing that the van had been sold to someone from the next village that Mom found out about the fact that Dad had run away from home. The money to buy the car was borrowed by my parents together, and I didn't leave a cent of the money from the sale of the car at home.

On Friday, she had a day off at home and did not go back to the village next door to attend classes. Within a few days, rumors spread in the village that my mother heard that my father had run away from home because of an affair.

Grandma told her that your father was angry with your mother, and that your father was fighting with your mother the day before he ran away from home, and your mother wanted to hack your father to death with a knife.

She hehe, before she was reborn, she listened to these words, and they were all believed. Now that I think about it, everything started with the "maybe" in someone else's mouth. There is no evidence that Dad cheated on him, and there is no evidence to prove that Dad was angry with his mother when he ran away from home. Even if it is, it shouldn't be a reason for a man to not even care about his daughter.

To paraphrase a quote she watched on TV: Everyone starts by believing everything, then doubts everything, and finally doesn't matter whether it's true or not, whether they believe it or not.

Hua Liangdui felt that she had reached the final stage. She doesn't care if she believes all the rumors about her parents, and she probably won't say anything about the naïve you believe me or not.

Also, leave your daughter, Hua Liangdui, what right do you have to blame your father, aren't you the same?

————————

On Sunday, I took my third-grade sister back to school for forty or fifty minutes. Seeing her classmates who had been absent for a long time, she was not excited at all. Because after graduation, except for Jingjing and Ranran, who also stayed in Qingtian, she had almost no contact with other classmates. At school, the students are all playing in piles, roughly according to the piles of each village. There are only a few classmates, not isolated, just unsociable. For example, Hua Liangdu.

is not sociable, it turns out that she started since she was a child. I still remember that many years later, Jingjing once said: "When I was in school, I always felt that you didn't like to play with us because you thought you had good academic performance and looked down on us who had bad academic performance." ”

Looking at the countdown to the high school entrance examination in the upper right corner of the blackboard, Hua Liangdui wanted to spit out fragrant fragrance. The rebirth she imagined was going back to the drowning a few years ago, the fifth grade, and then she studied hard and tried to get the best in her homework, and Zhang Zhang got a perfect score in the exam. Become the hope of our village for a generation, the myth of the school for a long time.

Well, now that I haven't been to class in 12 years, I don't even know what I'm good at math. What is the Pythagorean theorem, even the addition, subtraction, multiplication and division of fractions have to be memorized again. Not to mention the full score in the subject, the top ten in the class can't get in.

Everyone said that Hua Liangdu's head was burned out because of a high fever. Hmph! This excuse is really bleaching and bright!

Who invented the rebirth? Are you sure this is not a trick on me? She was not social, and in order to keep her high school entrance examination results from being too ugly, she worked hard.

In the past, when she fantasized about being reborn, she always felt that she would fall in love because she left society too early. So she wants to be reborn, she must study hard, go to high school, go to college, and find a decent job.

Heheda, look at the 44 days in the upper right corner of the blackboard, do you see that fate has given you the opportunity to fight against it? She gave you a chance to be reborn, but it doesn't mean that you have a chance to turn over.