"Are you a coward?" a beautiful girl stood behind me, looking at me with a mocking tone and a look in her eyes.

It was the first time I saw her, and I was blown away by her beauty. I don't know why there is such a beautiful girl in the world, and the moment I saw him, I felt inexplicably insulted when I heard what she said. It wasn't until many years later that I realized that it was a feeling of not wanting to be slighted by the woman I loved.

As a young man, I stood up, puffed out my chest, and plucked up courage: "No, I'm not a coward!" I cried out as if the louder it was, the more courage it would give me.

The girl looked at me and smiled, she threw a knife at me: "Prove it to me." ”

I took the sharp knife at a loss: "What, what to prove? How to prove?" I was a little confused by the monk.

"Aren't you very courageous? Have you forgotten the monitor lizards that slaughtered our companions? In front of you, they ate all our classmates, prove it to me, and ask our classmates for revenge. to do what they are supposed to do. The girl turned and walked away, leaving me standing there with the knife in hand.

Monitor Lizard Cave**.

The corpses of lizards are layered on top of each other. I came, and I did. I flipped all the lizards with nerve anesthetic and killed them all.

Before that, I didn't even have the courage to unravel a small lizard on a planing table in a science lab. Every time I picked up a knife, or saw the corpse of a dead animal, I felt a pang of nausea and trepidation.

But when I killed all of these lizards today, I realized that I didn't feel any discomfort. No, that's not accurate.

In fact, after I raised my butcher's knife and killed the first lizard, I finally realized what it was like to be out of place in my planet and school for so many years.

It's that I don't really feel anything! I don't feel any emotions or emotions. But I had the fear of my life being lost, and when I raised my butcher's knife and slaughtered the first lizard, even that fear was far away from me. Maybe fear is the only thing that makes me live a normal life and be like a normal person.

And now that I don't have any feelings anymore, I'm getting weird. But everyone thought I was normal, because I was able to dissect the lizards in science class. And you can also write a report with a high score. I was twelve years old.

Others think I'm normal, but I'm feeling more and more abnormal. Because I don't have any emotional awareness, I want to try to find something, even if it's fear!

Because when I lost all my feelings and emotions, my life became meaningless. I even felt like I should have died right away.

And at this time, the beautiful girl appeared again. I swear, I didn't see her at school. But she wore a school uniform.

I searched for her everywhere at school, but I didn't hear anything. Now she appeared in front of me and said, "What is my little boy confused about?"

The moment I saw her, I suddenly regained a hint of emotion. I can feel the feeling of being alive.

"I don't feel anything, I don't have joys or sorrows. I wanted to feel something, but I couldn't. ”

"Maybe it's because you haven't grasped the true meaning of life?"

"Really?"

"Yes, why not do some bigger scientific experiments, unravel something more interesting?" the girl laughed seductively.

At her instigation, I was able to unravel more and more animals, and they grew in size. I'm looking for what the true meaning of life is. I desperately wanted to know the answer, because only then would it be possible for me to find the cure for my own liberation.

I slowly began to realize that I was a monster. I'm the only one in the world.

When I dismantled the mountain ape-man, I still didn't get an answer. This is the closest thing I know to an intelligent being. But where is the true meaning of life? Why can't I find it?

"Maybe we should change our goals. The girl smiled, and she led me to a beautiful garden on the planet.

Two of my classmates were hugging behind rocks there.

"What are they doing? They behave intimately?" I wondered, I didn't know what the point of a man and a woman hugging each other tightly and exchanging saliva with each other.

"That's love, my little boy. "Pretty girls are laughing at my ignorance.

"Love?"

"Yes, it's the sweetest and sweetest feeling in the world. With love, you can feel the whole world!" the girl's voice rang in my ears.

I couldn't resist my urge and I couldn't wait to get this feeling: "What am I going to do?"

The girl blinked her big sly eyes: "Guess what?"

And so the first class of intelligent beings began. But unfortunately, I still didn't find the kind of thing called love in the dissection.

Where does this feeling come from? How does it come about, and why does it make people so happy?

The disappearance of my classmate caused some commotion at school. But no one thought that they had been killed. Because Titan has had no murders for more than a million years. Everyone has forgotten what murder is, and the law doesn't even say anything about how murder is handled.

And I'm still alive on this planet, and no one knows what Thanos did. Everyone is looking for their missing classmates.

And at home, my mother, the mother who had gone mad, saw through me. She knew what I did.

She piqued my curiosity, I was a monster and I could confirm it thoroughly by now. But how did she conceive a monster?

I unplaned my mother on the planing table. But I still didn't find the answer I was looking for.

I also knew I couldn't stay on Titan. I tried to find that beautiful girl to run away with me, but I couldn't find her.

So I had to seize a spaceship by myself and fly into the vastness of the universe.

I began to wander through the universe and live without a fixed place. Join a gang of cosmic pirates and grab wherever you want from here. Don't get me wrong, I'm not responsible for killing, I dissect a lot of living things, but it's all for research purposes, and I hate killing.

Then meet a woman, then fall in love (if that's love), and have children. Then there was a quick boredom, then a new group of pirates, and then the previous cycle.

Constantly, I was looking for love, as if I had it. I was looking for my feelings, but I could only keep getting lost.

Until one day, the beautiful girl reappeared.

PS: Thanos's growth path is still very important, and these stories are basically from the official comic "Thanos Rises". However, I believe that many book lovers will not read the original manga. So I'm going to write this story anyway.

And there are a lot of obscure things in the original comics, about Sanos losing all his feelings, not feeling the potential layers of joy and sorrow, etc., which are not directly depicted in the comics. It takes a closer reading to know that I've distilled the key points in the comics.