What does it feel like?

In the vast sea of people, we met again, but time has changed.

He is still the same as when he was a piano teacher in my family, with a white casual jacket, light blue jeans, and snow-white sneakers, handsome and sunny, as before.

And I, as the proprietress of a small Malatang shop, no longer have a little soft shadow when I sat in the living room and listened to him play the piano.

At that time, I was fair-skinned, well-haired, well-dressed, with a faint smile on my face, sitting beside him and listening to him quietly play beautiful piano music.

At this time, in order to facilitate my work, my dress must be the most forbidden and simple, my hair has not been styled for several months, I just use a hair tendon to tie it tightly behind my head, and I use a hairpin to prevent it from being blown by the wind, and I look like I am forty years old.

He was wearing the most ordinary khaki overalls, and he wore a large apron over his chest, which inevitably had some oil stains on it because of his work.

I'm dressed like any of the aunts on the street who sell snacks.

However, he still recognized me at a glance in the crowd, was it fate? Or was it a debt?

Ye Xing was carrying a white plastic bag in his hand, which contained something, and it seemed that he was passing by here by the way when he was out shopping.

When I finally looked up at him, he had been staring at me for a long time, and when he met my gaze, all kinds of mixed emotions flashed in his eyes, including embarrassment, guilt, and something indescribable.

Now seeing me look up at him, he opened his mouth as if to say something or say hello to me, but, when he saw the bone-chilling frost and intense hostility in my eyes, he quietly closed his mouth and said nothing.

I glared at him silently, a layer of disdain growing in my frosty eyes.

I can't forget what he did to me, I can't forget that he was just a pawn that my ex-husband planted next to me just to get evidence of my cheating.

Thinking of this, I can't help but smile secretly in my heart, how naïve I was before, I thought he would be different, I thought he was really as empathetic and chivalrous as he appeared on the surface, I thought he really understood me, I felt sorry for me, everything he said was for my sake, now in retrospect, it all seemed like a joke, in fact, everything he said was instructed by my ex-husband Deng Wenliang, and it may even be that they learned together.

He is just a college student in his early twenties, he may like all the luxuries that young boys like, and he may also want to be courteous to the girls he likes, but because of that special family environment, he has no extra funds to do what he wants, so he accepted Deng Wenliang's commission and became a chess piece in Deng Wenliang's hands for tens of thousands of yuan.

In fact, this is a simple truth, this boy who used to think that he was different, is no different from the boys who are generally vain and hesitant at this age, they want good things, but they don't have enough ability to get these things, so they want to take some shortcuts, this is some mistakes that everyone will make more or less when they are young, blame me for living in vain in my thirties, and I will naively think that a boy of his age will be true to me.

Thinking of this, I smiled faintly and bitterly, lowered my head, and continued to do the work in my hands, no longer paying attention to him who was standing not far from my stall.

Ye Xing just stood there silently, watching a market lady who sold spicy hot food working neatly, wanting to come forward to talk to her, but he didn't have the courage to wander there like that, and he didn't leave for a long time.

I didn't look at him again, let alone pay attention to him, because I didn't have the slightest relationship with him anymore.

He was entrusted to complete the mission given to him by the other party, and at the same time I saw the truth of his feelings for me, which was nothing but an ethereal smoke bomb, and when the smoke cleared, nothing was left.

The so-called grief is greater than the death of the heart, and when a woman has died of heart, she will see a lot of truths in the world clearly, and no longer have nostalgia for those empty things.

I didn't glance in the direction of Ye Xing's station, so I didn't know when he left.

At around nine o'clock in the evening, Xiaomei and I, who had been busy all day, began to call it a day.

After collecting my things and closing the shop, I first walked with Xiaomei to the door of the small house she rented nearby, and for safety reasons, I arranged for Xiaomei to live in a nearby rental house, where most of them were rented to working white-collar workers or college students living together.

I still live in the house that Haichao helped me find, because after all, I have a lot of personal belongings after the divorce, and Xiaomei is different from the working girl who came out to work lightly, it is not very convenient to rent a rental cottage casually, and the biggest disadvantage of that kind of cottage is that it is not too soundproof, and the young people with good energy generally don't care too much, and they can still sleep next door with loud TV and music, and at my age, I must find a relatively quiet place to rest after a day of fatigue, so that I can have enough energy to start work the next day.

Xiaomei is only twenty years old, which is the age of flowers, in fact, I suggested that she live with me at first, because my bedroom is a double bed, and it is completely okay for two women to live.

But the little girl refused to say anything, probably because she felt a little reserved about living with me, so I helped her rent a house near the store.

The house was a self-built building for the residents at that time, and the people living in it were relatively simple, and the landlord was a middle-aged woman, who was very nice.

Every night after work, I have to personally send Xiaomei to the rented hut, after all, I invited the person, I am responsible for the safety of the little girl, to see her safely into the hut, I left with peace of mind, to take the bus to my house.

My residence is not far from this store, about six or seven stops by car, more than half an hour, the evening bus until 11 o'clock in the evening, more suitable for my work rhythm, and, the most important thing is that living in such an independent unit, the body and mind can be effectively relaxed after a day of work, and it is also very convenient to take a bath.

Today, after I dropped Xiaomei off the rental house, I hurried to the bus stop sign next to the main road.

Just as I was walking forward quickly, I suddenly noticed a figure flashing in front of me, I hurriedly stopped, and looked at it by the light of the street lamp, it was Ye Xing.

At that time, I was very surprised, I thought he had left a long time ago, but I didn't expect him to be here, it seems that he has not gone far in the past few hours, just wandering around here.

The moment I saw him, I was amazed, and then this surprise was replaced by a boundless anger.

What else does he want to do? Does he still think he didn't hurt me deep enough? Although the whole incident was planned by Deng Wenliang, if it weren't for Ye Xing, a very bewildering chess piece, I wouldn't have fallen into the trap so easily.

Thinking of this, I didn't want to have anything to do with the boy in front of me at all, so I bypassed him and strode forward.

But he caught up with me in two steps, grabbed my arm, and asked a little stammering, "How have you been ......lately?" Are you doing well?"

I shook off his arm and replied to him with a sneer: "Okay, don't you see it all? Besides, what does it have to do with you whether I'm doing well now?"

I saw him hang his head in embarrassment, that look seemed to be a little guilty, at that moment I sneered in my heart, he will also feel guilty? It's a pity that I don't eat this at all now, and the so-called guilt in his eyes is useless and meaningless to me.

So I pointed to the bridge of his nose and admonished him severely, "Don't bother me again!

Hearing this sonorous and powerful threatening word, he raised his head, his lips twitched twice, but finally he did not make any sound.

Seeing his bear-like appearance, I sneered again, turned around and strode in the direction of the bus stop.

Sitting in the bus, I had a feeling of fatigue, I had dreamed of him countless times before, dreaming of his youthful and handsome face, and I pointed to the bridge of his nose and scolded him for his shamelessness, how could I do such a thing for money......

But every time I woke up, I realized that it was just a dream.

Today, I can finally reprimand him loudly in front of him, and I should feel a sense of joy in my heart, but alas, I don't feel that way in my heart at the moment, only a feeling of emptiness after a great rage.

In fact, I know very well that he and Deng Wenliang are both scumbags, a mature man who can design and frame his wife for money, and a young boy who can help and abuse his wife for money, and help others design and frame his wife, these two men are not scum or what?

Therefore, I should feel disgusted to see this hypocritical face in front of his eyes, because no matter how much he behaves, he can't make up for the damage I have suffered before.

He did this only because he was still young and his psychological quality was not so good, in other words, he was not used to being a wicked person, so he would struggle a little in his heart.

But this doesn't mean that he has changed his ways, think about the words he said to me in the first place, think about his face when he installed a pinhole camera at the place where we were dating, and handed the video of the two of us when we were in love to Deng Wenliang in exchange for tens of thousands of yuan, there is nothing worthy of my forgiveness in this person.

But why do I still feel so uncomfortable in my heart?