"She was right, I 'forced' her to drink the bowl of 'medicine', and I killed her. ”

Ji Huan spoke slowly, with his back to the light, and his expression was not real.

In front of his eyes, his wife's beautiful pale face seemed to appear, with tears in her eyes, begging him.

“…… Mu Huan, I beg you, I know you don't want children, so I never thought about anything before...... But now that he has come by himself, this spark 'flower' is providence, I beg you to let me keep him, I promise to take him well, I won't let him annoy you, I won't let him trouble you, I beg you to let me keep him..."

She always obeyed what he said unconditionally, regardless of the reason, whether it was right or wrong, and rarely asked of him, just quietly took care of his diet and daily life, as if that was everything she cared about and satisfied.

begged him so hard, it was once, but this time, he couldn't agree.

With his own hands, he picked up the bowl of thick black 'medicine' juice, spoonful by spoon, and fed it into her mouth, the hand holding the spoon couldn't restrain his slight trembling.

She finally listened to him, wept silently, let him feed her, and drank the bowl of 'medicine' one by one.

He put down the 'medicine' bowl, hugged her into his arms, lowered his eyes, covered all the pain under his eyes, and his voice contained guilt and depression, so heavy.

"I'm sorry. ”

He could only say these three words.

And the grievances and pain in her eyes were so obvious, but after all, she just snuggled up to him softly, shook her head gently with tears, and didn't say anything.

"Why, why on earth are you doing this?"

Yisheng's voice interrupted his thoughts, and he looked at her, her body trembling slightly, not knowing whether it was because of shock or anger.

His voice was still very quiet, "I don't want my child to be like me in the future." ”

"Like you?" she smirked, "why did you choose to take such a path when you knew you were bad?"

"Because I don't have any other choice. There was no joy or sorrow in his tone, and he was as calm as if he were talking about someone else's business.

"Yes, it's just that you don't want to choose," she looked up into his eyes, "I came to you three years ago and you refused to see me, even now, I still say what I said back then - you leave Shanghai with me, I will let Shao Zhizi change your new identity, if you don't want to stay in the army, I will also find a way to send you abroad, you don't have to worry about the Japanese." ”

"Why should I leave, you see, how big is the Ji family's industry now, and it is developing so well," he smiled, his smile was vaguely proud but desolate, "Xiao Sheng, if I want to leave, I don't need anyone to help me." ”

Her eyes slowly turned cold, "So, are you telling me that you chose this path willingly, not the Japanese 'forced' you?"

His smile was indifferent and desolate, and he nodded, "Yes." ”

It took her long time to breathe her breath, looking at him, she suddenly smiled, but her tears couldn't help but slide down gently, "In the past, I always heard people say that the country is difficult to think of good generals, but today I understand that good generals are easy to find, but lack conscience." ”

The disappointment in her eyes was so heavy, and he smiled in his heart, so that you won't be sad about me anymore.

It's just that watching her back walk away step by step, he still can't restrain himself after all, this may be the last time he sees her.

Suddenly he got up and strode in her direction.

The gunshots suddenly rang out, shattering the warmth of the sunshine in the courtyard.

When he fell, he didn't feel any pain until he saw the 'girl's pale face in shock.

She was completely overwhelmed by this sudden change, tears fell so badly, crying and shouting for help, the huge courtyard was silent.

He had long been tired and numb, but he still couldn't restrain the pain, and wanted to raise his hand to wipe away her tears, but he couldn't.

So he smiled and said with difficulty: "Xiaosheng, that poem, do you remember it......"

She heard his voice, and looked down at him crying, and there was a distant yearning in his eyes, and a soft smile on his lips came out—

………………

The light and shadow in his eyes began to slowly dissipate, and in the hazy white light, he seemed to see his mother again, she hugged him gently, shaking gently, but there was a madness of obsession hidden in her eyes-

"Child, do you know why I want to give you this name? Ji Huan, Ji Huan, I want Ji Boqiao to repay his debts for his negative heart, I want you to remember to get back all the suffering that my mother suffered, you went to China, I only need you to promise me one thing - kill him!"

He got up from his mother's arms and stumbled forward, his father stretched out his hands in front of the palatial little building of the Ji Mansion and only hugged him, the joy and love and expectation in his eyes, he remembered it so well, he said to him-

"Mu Huan, you are my only child, and you are also my greatest pride - promise my father to let the Ji family's family business flourish in your hands!"

He agreed to his mother, and in order to make a mission that he couldn't shirk, he personally put 'medicine' in his father's ginseng tea, and then watched his body fail day by day.

He promised his father, so he did everything he could, and finally let the Ji family's family business, day by day, get bigger and bigger, and finally reach its peak.

It's just that what about himself, his wishes, who can fulfill them?

In the days before he was ten years old, he was no longer willing to go to the meeting, even when he arrived at the Ji family, his rigorous training was never interrupted.

His grandfather had always been there for him, but he had never believed him.

He controlled him with 'medicine', looked at him coldly, and again and again, with a headache and 'desire'.

He threatened him with his mother, making him sacrifice everything for the sake of Japan.

He tried to convince himself that he was born in Japan, that he had Japanese blood in his body, that everything he did was for the country, and that there was nothing wrong with it.

But how can we not forget that he grew up in China, his body also flows with Chinese blood, what is all this he does?

When he fed the bowl of thick black 'medicine' juice into his wife's mouth, his hands kept shaking, and he said in his heart - I'm sorry, but I can't let you be like me, and you won't know who you are for the rest of your life.

He didn't lie to her, but he was sorry for her after all.

When Mrs. Sheng came to him, he knew what effect those words would have on this 'woman', but he did not expect that his wife outside the 'door' would hear it.

And when he spoke, he realized that in his subconscious, did he also have such thoughts?

"If the child is Xiaosheng's, will you 'force' her to drink that bowl of 'medicine'?"

When his wife asked this sentence, he had no way to answer.

If, it was him with her child......

What would he or she look like? Would he be like his mother?

is delusional, there will be expectations, can he still be ruthless?

It's just that life never gives him any chance to choose.

………………

If I meet you, it will be years away. How shall I address you? with silence, with tears.

In a trance, there seemed to be a choked voice of a 'woman', trembling and ringing in his ears.

He wanted to see her again, and he tried so hard to open his eyes, but he still couldn't see, he couldn't see anything.

His wish has always been unfulfilled.

So, what about this last one?

I just hope, the only exception to this, can it?

He struggled to gather all his consciousness, shook his head, and left the last words he said in this world—

“……… ith mile……”

Xiaosheng, I've finished walking this double spiral ladder.

If one day, we meet again, please smile at me, okay?