"Knock knock. ”

"Knock knock. ”

A gentle knock on the door sounded in the quiet early hours of the morning, and a lamp at the end of the corridor seemed to have a slight problem, flickering brightly and dimly, and the sound of the filament being burned could be faintly heard, which set off the emptiness and lengthiness of the entire corridor.

"Smack. ”

The light at the end of the hallway didn't make it to the end, and it went out. The brightly lit corridor dimmed slightly, and although the other lamps were still bright, it inevitably created a sense that the light was gradually dissipating, and the surroundings became more and more quiet.

Matthew couldn't help but raise his head and look at the extinguished lamp, and could vaguely see a moth lying lifeless in the lampshade, without any movement, interpreting the mystery of the moth to the fire, and then, both of them died together. This made Matthew's eyelids start to beat inexplicably.

"Knock knock. ”

Matthew withdrew his gaze and knocked on the door again, but received no response, and looked down at the gap under the door, the light leaked out, quiet and peaceful, but not extinguished.

Matthew didn't hesitate any longer, and tested the doorknob, but found that the door was not locked, so he pushed the door open, "Lan Li?" The narrow room was clear at a glance, there was no one there, the desk was littered with scripts and pages, and an empty coffee cup was placed next to it.

Matthew's heart began to sink.

Push open the bathroom and no one will work, and push open the balcony and no one will be there. The whole room was so big that there was no way to hide anyone, which allowed Matthew to be sure that Lan Li was not there.

Looking around, Matthew noticed something unusual: an unlit but discarded cigarette was in the ashtray on the coffee table, and there was no cigarette case or lighter next to it.

Matthew guessed slightly, walked out of the room quickly, did not forget to close the door, and walked briskly in the direction of the rooftop on the top floor.

Pushing open the rooftop door, the pitch-black night sky spreads out in front of you, and the faintly rolling mountains appear on the edge of the sky like a blurred ink, but a few strokes outline a touch of grandeur and magnificence, even if there are no stars in the sky, the heart is suddenly opened.

In the middle of the night, a figure sat on the edge of the balcony, the sound of the fierce wind blowing the hem of the shirt, as if it might be blown away at any moment.

Ma Xiu let out a long breath, and only then did he feel a little reassured.

Every time Lan Li needs to calm down and think, he will always find a noisy and quiet corner to sit down - he used to always choose the supermarket, if he can't find Lan Li, he can always find it in the corner of the supermarket, but with the gradual rise of Lan Li's popularity and recognition, the supermarket has become less "safe", which also means that Lan Li has to find other harbors.

They are now trapped in the small town of Sneem, and the rooftop is a more convenient option than the forest, and should be the only reasonable option. So, Matthew walked quickly to the rooftop, and sure enough, he saw the familiar figure - an illusion arose in his mind, time and space were dislocated, and it seemed that when he returned to Eton College again, he saw another side of Lan Li on the rooftop.

That loneliness, that loneliness, that fragility...... Usually always precipitated between the shallow smile of the eyebrows, almost no one can perceive, but it always exists objectively, and it always lingers, like a drowning person who does not make a sound but is crying for help, the silent roar hides the gradually suffocating ashes, slowly, slowly devouring the faint and bright light around the soul.

After the completion of "Burst Drummer" last year, the gloom that followed me seemed to have finally disappeared, completely gone, even when Paul Walker was in a car accident, there was no recurrence, as if Lan Li had finally gotten rid of the nightmare entanglement, but now, the shadows began to creep in again.

Matthew's hurried steps forward couldn't help but slow down when he was about to approach: he was a little flustered, lest his footsteps would alarm Lan Li, but he didn't expect that Lan Li's joking voice came from the wind, "Don't worry, I don't have the courage to jump, I just need to be calm and calm." ”

The joke at this time made Matthew unable to laugh. But his footsteps landed firmly on the ground again, and then he also sat down beside Lan Li.

"Many people say that those who commit suicide are weak, because they are too afraid and too timid, so they choose to do a hundred, but I have a different idea, in fact, they are all brave, because they have the courage to make a decisive goodbye - a farewell that completely turns around. Their courage is far beyond imagination. ”

Lan Li's voice fluttered in the wind, which made Matthew's heart tremble. His eyelids were throbbing harder.

"She had the courage that I could never have. Lan Li said in a low voice.

Matthew knows who this "she" is, "You know this sentence is wrong. ”

Lan Li didn't affirm or deny, just looked up at the starry sky, "Don't worry, really, I'm just reading the script until I'm a little tired and need a cigarette to wake up." I was just...... Heh, I'm just tired. Lan Li had the box of cigarettes and lighters on his left hand, and he had a cigarette in his right hand, but it was not lit, and his tired voice was full of self-deprecation.

"The night in Ireland is so beautiful that I can't help but fantasize about myself running barefoot above the treetops of the forest, as if the soul could fly. Lan Li took a deep breath, the fresh and cold air filled his chest, and the whole person seemed to be much lighter, "Whew, what a wonderful thing it would be if time stopped forever." ”

“…… Lan Li, you need to rest. Matthew said in a deep voice.

Lan Li paused for a moment and laughed happily, "Ha, I know, I have a break every day, but I can't get too busy with too much work, and I can only work overtime, otherwise, the filming progress of the crew will come to a halt, believe me, Ogs will definitely not have a good face." ”

"Lan Li, I'm serious. Matthew didn't buy it at all, "The crew doesn't have that much work at all, you know and I know." You're deceiving yourself!"

Lan Li's smile paused at the corner of his mouth, and his expression was slightly stiff.

Matthew couldn't bear it, and his tone slowed down slightly, "Lan Li, you need to rest, your current state is not good, very bad, and you will collapse at any time." You...... You need to get a good night's sleep, you need to cheer yourself up...... You haven't closed your eyes for three days, it's not normal. Are you ...... now? It's very, very tired, and a little surprise can be ...... Listen, you need to rest, you just need to rest. ”

"I know!" Lan Li interrupted Matthew rudely, "I will, I'll rest." I'll go back, revise the script, and I'll rest. ”

The perfunctory words made Matthew tough again, "Lan Li, I'm serious, your current state is terrible! You should be sensible and smart enough to know the consequences of this......

"Yes, I know, I know!" Lan Li turned his head and stared at Matthew viciously, his voice became hard and cold, bursting out with a powerful momentum, "I know everything, but I know the consequences, but I still persuade her to go to the front, I know what may happen, but I still don't stop her." It's me, you know? It's me! I've always been like that, pretending to be smart, pretending to be wise, pretending to be God, and directing other people's lives, but in fact, I don't know anything. I don't really know anything. ”

Matthew couldn't help but open his mouth slightly, "Lan Li, it's not your fault......"

"So whose fault is it? Tell me, I should blame me! Charles, I should blame me? Not my words, so who is it? You tell me that if I can't blame someone, I'm going to go crazy, you know? I have to do this, I have to divert my attention. Lan Li's bloodshot eyes were full of anger and despair, glaring at Matthew in the darkness of the night, asking one question after another.

Matthew couldn't answer.

"You know what? I can't do it, I can't close my eyes, I can't stop thinking, just a little bit of free time and I'll start imagining what the hell is going on there! What she's going to be going on right now! What she's facing right now! Even if she's still alive, she's not in a good place right now, is she? How can she be okay? As soon as I close my eyes, I'll see her covered in blood, I can't do it, Charles, I really can't do it. ”

Lan Li's words were shattering, the wound that went deep into the bone marrow, and the blood showed his fragility and pain. After tearing off the mask, it was exposed.

"I know, I'm a coward, I just hide in the crew, pretend that the world is peaceful, pretend that nothing is crazy, and use work to numb my nerves! And she is struggling on the line of life and death! How ridiculous! How ridiculous! But what's even more tragic is that I can't help anything, you know? I can't...... I can't help it...... I can't miss her, but I can't miss her...... I don't know what to do. ”

"I have to be busy, my brain is constantly spinning, I can't take a little break, I have to blame someone, I have to let my anger out, otherwise I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I...... I can't stop, you know? I can't stop. It's like...... I don't know, it's like stopping, everything will fall apart, everything I'm insisting on and working hard will all fall apart!"

"Heather was an illness, Paul was an accident, and what about Edith? Edith is me, I'm the one who caused all this, I can see blood on my hands, you know? I hate my own sanity, I hate my own cleverness, I'm just a big fool. ”

"Charles, what should I do?"

Lan Li's desperate eyes stared at Matthew like this, which broke Matthew's heart completely - he, he couldn't help, and he couldn't help at all.