Before I wrote my own novels, I always thought that writing novels was a very simple thing to do. So, before that, I didn't understand why writers were so stressed and procrastinated.

Now it's my turn to write it myself, and I realize that I was really ignorant and naïve at that time. How can there be anything so simple in this world?

Writing the Black Lotus Evolution Diary was a completely sudden idea.

My college roommate had a very good relationship with me, and she thought I was very difficult to get along with when she first met me.

Later, when I gradually became familiar with me, I realized that I was cold and warm-hearted, and she was with me for the next four years. We've been through a lot together, so she knows me well.

She thinks I'm a really good person and has nothing to say about my friends. But for feelings, it's simply a harsh "machine". Later, she learned about what I had been through and never said it again.

She always thought that I was a very lucky person. I studied well, I worked well, the leader always paid special attention to me, and so on. She joked that I was called "heroine halo", and even teased me, saying that my experience could be used to write novels, which was just fun.

Of course, those words were just jokes, so I didn't take them seriously. It wasn't until later that one of my cousins came to my house to play.

She was 6 years younger than me, and she would be in her first year of junior high school. Because she was always by my side when I was a child, she had a very good relationship with me. Her mother told me that her grades were declining badly, and asked me to do ideological work for her and help her with homework by the way. So, I talked to her a lot.

After chatting, I found that she is very much like me now. I think I've grown up and understand a lot of life principles. I feel that there is a lot of pressure to study, and my parents don't understand, so I feel very tired. In addition, this age is the time when I am ignorant, so I will be troubled by the so-called "feelings". In my opinion, it is also very "non-mainstream", but she thinks there is nothing wrong with it.

I actually quite understand, because I used to do that. But the difference is that at that time, I really suffered a lot of losses, stumbled along the way, and all the truth was only understood after I learned a lesson. No one listened to me and enlightened me. At that time, I had too many things in my heart, and my parents, although they loved me, were very strict with me. I rarely communicated with them, and I was holding back everything, so I became depressed later.

The closest I got to death was when I had a heated argument with my mom and she slapped me several times. I was so desperate that I didn't eat or drink for days, lying down and going to the toilet every day. I was lying down, but I couldn't sleep. At that time, I really felt that there was nothing to be nostalgic for in this world, but sometimes when I thought of some once warm moments, I would cry like a fool. Then one night, I couldn't hold on anymore, so I went to the kitchen and got a knife. Then my cousin came into my room and saw it, crying profusely, and kept saying "Sister, please, put the knife down", I won't describe the process, and the result is that our sister and brother hugged each other and cried for a long time.

The next day my dad rested, and in the morning he knocked on the door as usual and called me to get up for breakfast. I didn't answer, I just lay down. I looked at the ceiling and didn't know what I was thinking. Later, at noon, my dad knocked on the door again, but I still didn't answer. Through the door, I heard my dad sighing. Not long after, my dad came into my room with a bowl of noodles covered with my favorite poached egg, but I still didn't respond. My dad put the noodles on the bedside table and sat on the edge of my bed and started talking to me. Talking about how to do without eating, saying that I tortured myself like this, have you ever thought about how uncomfortable he and his mother are...... They'll never be angry with me, but why can't they think about it?

For the first time I've seen my dad like this for as long as I can remember. When I was a child, he really doted on me, and it can be regarded as "doting". Later, when I went to junior high school, he stopped spoiling me like he did when I was a child, and even united with my mother and was extremely strict with me. So after that, we had a lot of fights, and each time it ended with me crying and going back to my room.

I've been ...... for a long time It's been a long time since I've heard my dad talk to me so gently. At that moment, I cried...... My mother, who was hiding outside the door, also cried......

On that occasion, our family of three opened up and chatted for a long, long time.

Since then, my mom has never beaten me again, and my dad has never been too harsh on me. They stayed with me until I recovered.

Of course, at that time, it was not only my parents' "high-pressure policy" that pressed me that I couldn't breathe, but also others.

Since I was a child, my parents taught me to be a kind and upright person. They protected me very well, and I was naïve to think that everyone was kind and good.

But the reality hit me hard, I have suffered injustice, and I have also suffered cold violence from my classmates. Then, the feelings betrayed...... All of this added up to almost "kill" me.

Even then, I never gave up my love for the world and my trust in other people. However, reality really likes to press you to the ground and rub you repeatedly, ravaging you until you are unrecognizable. By the way, my relationship has never been smooth. I took it seriously, and in exchange for trampling and betrayal.

Later, I finally became the most hated version of my old self.

So, I looked at my sister who was confiding in me in front of me, and I couldn't help but worry that she would be like me back then. Then I told her about what I had been through. I can't make sure she'll listen, but I really don't want to see her repeat it. Because I think this society has never been very friendly to women.

Later, I experienced a very unbelievable thing, so I went to complain to my roommate. As a result, I was teased by her again, saying that I could really write a novel, and even the name was for me. I have to complain, the name is really brainless.

But this time, I didn't listen to it casually, but took it to heart. I think it's good to do something I've never done before.

With that in mind, I signed up for an account.

I don't know who reads what I write, but I just want to write something down. It's not all my experience, it's someone else's, and I've adapted it slightly. Just think of it as a stranger's story.

It's really because I don't know what to call it. I hated the White Lotus so much that I thought about naming it instead of the Black Lotus. Anyway, the heroine of the story has also experienced a lot and become a so-called bad girl. So in the end, you saw this "Black Lotus Evolution Diary".

I don't really know how to write novels, I spend a lot of time writing a chapter every day. It's stuck when it's written, and then it's deleted. After experiencing it myself, I really understand from the bottom of my heart how difficult it is for those writers, those who can persist in writing one work after another. They're really amazing.

And what I write, I myself sometimes want to laugh. It's really hard to express what I want to express, and there are so many shortcomings. However, I didn't intend to be a great writer in the first place.

I just want to record what I have experienced and seen.

Thank you to those who had the patience to go and see, really appreciated.

After so much nagging, I would like to say that although it is a little difficult, I will persevere. I will definitely draw an end to this work with my own hands.

Thanksgiving~