Until now, I can't tell what love is.

I told myself in my heart that I was in love with He Yulu, but I couldn't tell if it was love or not.

Maybe it's true, it takes a second to fall in love with He Yulu.

However, it will take a lifetime to forget Chen Ya.

I don't know when it was dark outside, and I didn't know if I was crying or not, I didn't feel anything, I just knew that my clothes were wet.

I don't know what Ning Meixuan is talking about, I just feel like she pulled me.

I didn't care about anything, there was nothing in my world, I just sat quietly.

Like a walking corpse, I walked down the hallway, as if it was going to rain, but it didn't.

I lit a cigarette, but the hand holding the cigarette kept shaking, and I lit the cigarette and looked at the pale face reflected in the dim light in the glass, as if I were ten years old.

The glass gradually blurred, through the window, as if I saw Chen Ya, she was wearing a white wedding dress, I pulled her next to me, I looked at her and smiled, we slowly walked towards the wedding hall, the scene remembered the wedding march, the hall stood that former my boss, he also smiled at me, suddenly, Chen Ya let go of my hand, away from me more and more, I stretched out my hand, but I couldn't catch her, her appearance became more and more blurred, my eyes became darker and darker......

I fell......

Before I fell unconscious, I only saw a familiar figure in the glass, Ning Meixuan.

I woke up and I don't know how long it took.

The person lying on the hospital bed now is me, Ning Meixuan is lying on the head of the bed, and there is food on the table.

I didn't care, didn't say anything, I got out of bed.

I walked out slowly, Ning Meixuan grabbed me and asked me where I was going.

I didn't speak, pushing Ning Meixuan away.

My mind is always full of Chen Ya's shadow, she is going to leave me completely, what should I do.

My heart hurts to hear the news, I don't want to believe it's true, I walked out of the hospital, I didn't know where to go, I just wanted to find a place to hide, hide.

It was raining, and it hadn't rained in a long time.

The rain drenched my whole body, and the tears merged in the rain, and I couldn't tell the difference, but the sorrow was so dazzling.

There was a sound of footsteps, Ning Meixuan ran in front of me, I couldn't lift my spirits, and I didn't look at her.

She pulled me and said, "Yun Zhe!

I said, "!

She wept and mourned.

I saw the phone in her hand, it was mine.

I thought it must be a dream, so I grabbed my phone in a panic and opened it to see that the short breath was still lying there.

It seemed to be laughing at me, and I was so angry that I threw it to the ground.

Ning Meixuan's arm stretched out, and her hand grabbed the phone.

I pushed Ning Meixuan away, Ning Meixuan fell to the ground, and I shouted at her: "You get out! I'll let you go! I don't want to see you!"

I wanted to say something but couldn't, my throat was choked and I choked.

I turned around and walked slowly, there were so many pedestrians on the road, coming and going, but I felt that I was the only one left in the world.

Suddenly, I felt someone hugging me, I knew it was Ning Meixuan, I pulled her away hard, but she ran over and hugged me tightly.

I felt a heat stream in my back, it wasn't rain.

I couldn't scream, I was upset, I started crying, I said in a supplicating voice, "Please let me go." ”

She still hugged me and didn't give it away, I didn't speak.

The rain was getting heavier and heavier, tears blurred my eyes, I couldn't see anything, and I slowly lay on the ground.

I couldn't help it anymore and cried.

I feel so warm in this embrace.

Ning Meixuan said to me: "It's not worth being sad for such a person, you can definitely find your own happiness, there are so many people who care about you, they don't want to see you like this!"

"I like her, how can I not be worth it?" I said.

Ning Meixuan said: "She is already getting married, can she see it like this? Will she turn back? You still have a long way to go!"

"Huh...... The road is still long, and they are all about to die, how can the road be long?" I smiled bitterly, and the tears were even more uncontrollable.

In the heavy rain, Ning Meixuan sat paralyzed on the ground.

I got up and left.

As soon as I turned around, my tears began to fall uncontrollably.

There was another sound of footsteps, Ning Meixuan pulled me, glared at me and asked, "You lied to me, right?"

"Do you think I'm joking?" I bit my lip.

"No... No.... No way. Ning Meixuan took two steps back and shouted.

I didn't care about anything, and when I saw a small restaurant next to it, I walked in.

I didn't ask for anything, I just wanted a bottle of liquor.

Wine can't relieve the pain, but when I'm drunk, I can stop thinking about these painful things.

I sat on the side of the road and drank, and the night was getting darker and the rain was getting heavier.

I only have two taels of alcohol, and if I drink too much, I get drunk.

This pound of liquor, I don't know if I'll die after drinking it, those don't matter anymore, now I just want to numb myself.

Ning Meixuan wanted to snatch my wine, I pushed her away, I shouted for her to get out, she didn't speak, just stood aside and looked at me, thinking about something, I ignored her.

I grabbed the bottle again and began to drink.

Wine is a spicy thing, but now I don't feel like it tastes at all.

If I really wanted to drink it, there wasn't much of this pound of wine, and it didn't take long for me to almost finish it.

My eyes were a little blurry, but I was still a little conscious after just drinking alcohol and the rain was stimulating.

Wine is a good thing, and now I can't think about those sad things.

Ning Meixuan walked over to me and snatched the wine bottle.

I smiled and said, "No, I'll drink... Drink it out. ”

My body was a little shaky, my eyes were getting blurred and blurred, and slowly I didn't feel anything, the stimulation of the rain made me still have this consciousness, I just felt that someone was holding me, very warm.

I didn't know the concept of time, I don't know how long it was, I had a dream that I saw a man floating in front of me.

I grabbed her, I saw that it was He Yulu, she kissed me, she said she loved me.

I said, I love you too.

I hugged her tightly, hugged her.

I ran out of instincts.

When I woke up, my head still ached.

It's noon now, and it's still raining.

I looked at my clothes, they had been changed, and the sheets had been changed.

Could it be that Ning Meixuan changed it for me?

Then wasn't I looked down on by Ning Meixuan?

I didn't see Ning Meixuan, and I couldn't ask.

I thought of Chen Ya again in my mind, and I couldn't get rid of it.

I stood at the window, clutching my head, trying hard to wave Chen Ya away from my mind, but I couldn't.

She seems to have grown in my mind, reflected in my eyes, and I can't avoid it even if I want to.

I took a look and now in the hotel room.

I don't know why I'm here, I guess Ning Meixuan brought me here, and I can't ask if she's not there.

It's on the second floor, facing the street.

Outside the window, the rain was drenching and blurring the whole world, and the raindrops hit the glass, leaving a faint water stain.

People come and go on the street, and under the colorful umbrellas hide faces that can't see clearly, just like this world.

This view is so beautiful, this hazy feeling is so beautiful.

My head hurt a little again, I took out a cigarette, and I pinned my hope on the cigarette in the hope that it would ease the pain.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

I walked over and opened the door, and I saw Ning Meixuan carrying rice.

I put her on the table in the house, and I stood on the windowsill again, lit a cigarette, and smoked.

"You changed my clothes?" I looked out the window, feeling melancholy.

"Let's eat some food first, it won't taste good if it's cold. Ning Meixuan diverted the topic and said.

"I'm asking you!" I turned around abruptly and yelled at Ning Meixuan.

"You hate me so much?" I saw Ning Meixuan biting her lip and looking at me.

"It has nothing to do with hating or not hating. I said.

"Well, the waiter changed it for you. Ning Meixuan lowered her head and said.

I looked out the window. This is a matter of principle.

"Let's eat quickly, it's going to be cold right away. Ning Meixuan came over and said to me.

"I don't have an appetite. "I really can't eat, I drank too much alcohol yesterday, so I still have a fever in my stomach and a sore head.

"If you don't eat, eat quickly. Ning Meixuan pulled me.

I didn't notice Ning Meixuan's attitude, but I was very annoyed now, I shook Ning Meixuan away and shouted, "I said I won't eat!

I turned around and shouted to Ning Meixuan, and I caught a glimpse of tears rolling in Ning Meixuan's eyes, slowly flowing down.

I didn't care, I'm sadder and sadder now, I want to cry, but who cares about me?

"Yun Zhe, cheer up!" Ning Meixuan shouted at me.

I didn't speak, and I didn't bother to say it.

"Originally, I thought that you had always been a brave and invincible person, when I first met you, how sunny and enthusiastic you were at that time, and there was a feeling of security around you, but now you look at you?

I didn't speak, quietly thinking about Ning Meixuan's words, it turns out that I am now, has I become like this?

"Yes, she is getting married, do you still cherish her? If she still loves you, how can she abandon you? If she doesn't love you, you are crying for someone who doesn't love you, Yun Zhe, please don't do this, let it go." If you really love her and see her happy, you should bless her!"

Hearing Ning Meixuan's words, I was stunned, yes, does she still love me?

But can I really let it go?

What if she doesn't let go? She's already getting married.

Do I want to be a junior? She doesn't like me, and I don't have a chance to be a junior.

I covered my face and tears fell from my eyes.

"Do you know how worried we are about you? It hurts my heart to see you like this. And your father, mother, friends, people who care about you, have you thought about their feelings?" Ning Meixuan suddenly hugged me.

"Are there so many people who care about me, but I'm going to die myself, so what's the matter if I'm not worried?" I muttered silently.

"It can definitely be cured, as long as we cheer up, there is no incurable disease in the world. Ning Meixuan said.

"It can be cured, but ...... There is no money to cure. I shook my head.

"Lack of money? I have a way, and the money is on me. Ning Meixuan raised her head and looked at me.

"You ......" I smiled bitterly, I am indeed a cowardly person, I have fallen to this point, I have always relied on women to live since I came to H City, maybe as Ning Meixuan said, I am a coward and a waste.

Maybe I really don't have a chance to turn over, I don't want to live on women anymore.

However, I thought of He Yulu again, I don't want to die, I still want love, I want to be happy, and I want to live a healthy life.

"How much does it cost?" Ning Meixuan looked up at me.

"Don't be stupid! how can you have money......" I knew that Ning Meixuan's family didn't have any money, so I shook my head, thinking, forget it, let it be fate.

Ning Meixuan kept asking, but I never said, I think it's better not to mix with Ning Meixuan about this matter.

Now what I hope most is that He Yulu is okay, then I will rest assured.

"Okay!Yun Zhe, look at me, cheer up. Ning Meixuan turned to me, stared at me and said, "Didn't you say you wanted to go home?

I looked at Ning Meixuan and suddenly thought, yes, I came back this time to say goodbye to my parents. Maybe it's goodbye too. How could I be so depressed?

However, I can't let my parents know, and if my parents knew about my situation, maybe they would wash their faces with tears every day. That's the last thing I want to see, I'd rather cry than see someone cry.

My mom and dad didn't have any wishes, they just kept urging me to find a girlfriend to get married.

I talk about my girlfriend, and I don't know about it at home, let alone a breakup.

I looked at Ning Meixuan, and suddenly thought of a way, maybe Ning Meixuan could help me.