I don't know what else I have to do or what I can do.

There is no one I walk in this world, and there is no one else who does not have a family, all of them are just the visual elements that I perceive at this moment.

The things I cherish are as inconspicuous as dust, or even non-existent. Those who cherish them, those who are reluctant to do so, those that have not allowed anyone to destroy them for a long time, are all just fake things.

The unreal does not exist, and although it has been presented, the unreal is the unreal. When you wake up, it's all gone. Everything in a dream is just an experience.

The role of Yuan Changwen is not me at all, and it has nothing to do with me. Those thoughts, those ideas, those dreams are also just false things, and they are only the content of realization.

There is nothing to catch, and there is nothing to catch.

It's as if, with my own efforts, I can grasp something and not let it dissipate. However, this is just a fantasy at all, all this does not exist, it is just the presentation of the elements of the picture, and what can be kept?

Without the role of Yuan Changwen, that awareness still exists, and he will still be aware of other picture elements. I'm going to disappear, the thinking is going to dissipate, and maybe it's someone else thinking about it.

Or, don't think about it at all.

I'm going to die, and I'm scared. Afraid of the dissipation of this thinking, afraid that he is no longer himself, and afraid that the role of Yuan Changwen does not exist.

However, this decay and sinking is entirely self-inflicted. At the beginning, he killed like a madman, so that the role of Yuan Changwen continued to crack. Or rather, I remember that the state at the moment was caused by the previous slash.

This causal relationship is itself the presentation of the elements of the picture. Maybe it is, maybe it hasn't, maybe it happened in the past, maybe it didn't.

That awareness is everything, and naturally there is no place for time or space for people or anything like that.

The character of Yuan Changwen deserves to die, and he will definitely die, but I am still a little afraid. Without me, without this thinking, all the things that we are proud of would no longer exist.

Let's get started, whether this is the first step, if it's not started at all, or if it's about to end.

The things that are clung to, the twists in the mind, the things that are cherished, all begin to dissipate. I'm going to release the tension in my heart that what can't happen and shouldn't happen can happen.

Come on, let me die, let life be ruined, let it all be cold and monotonous. Let the darkness envelop me, those brilliant colors are not for me, and those deep ideas do not match me.

Death, cold, gloomy, is my companion. There is no reliance, and there is no need to look for anything to rely on, because all reliance is just speculation. Those baseless affirmations can indeed make people feel reassuring.

However, what I want is uneasiness and panic, that is, to make the character of Yuan Changwen collapse. If there is anything that can heal me and bring me back to the joy I once had, then this is my enemy.

Who has ever thought about what is the starting point of these behaviors in treating depression and discouraging suicide? Why can't you be depressed? Why can't you commit suicide? Are there only dozens of ways to live in this world? Do you have to follow the crowd? Or do you have to agree with everyone on certain issues?

The point is, where is everyone?

How long do the twists in my mind want to control me? Those cherished moments, those cherished ideas, those thoughts that must not be trampled on, are all just what the characters think are precious.

What can be illustrated by the fact that such precious ideas are only the presentation of pictorial elements?

Without this thought, everything would dissipate, and there would be no me. Family will disappear, partners will disappear, and friends will disappear. And, none of which I remember, none of which I observe, and none of which I observe, will likewise disappear.

Because, this world is not real, I am not real!

Madness, headaches, destruction, death, the fragmentation of the surface of life, the disintegration of life, the gradual disappearance of the world.

I'm a madman, and I don't have any qualifications to present these false things. Where is the truth? Where is the awareness? Why do you still think about all this from the position of the elements of the picture?

There is no me, so how can I be hurt, how can I be happy, how can I be sad, how can I be miserable?

All of them are just the role of Yuan Changwen. Even, Yuan Changwen's character is only responsible for interacting with the environment, and that thinking is used to make a series of judgments.

It's not me, it's not me at all. That thinking is my last line of defense. It's not about defending against something vicious, it's about preventing something good from entering. Because beauty destroys all this, destroying the walls of thought.

Rotten garden, rejecting the beautiful spring.

Let's go, let's all dissipate, the people and things in our minds are not qualified to continue to exist. Let the words that make sense, those moral traditions, the virtues that the world respects, dissipate.

This time it led to my death, but there was no me at all, the so-called me was just a picture element, just wishful thinking.

The mind is not mine, nothing is mine, it is all just a picture element. And that thinking is just the picture elements that present "these are me, I am real, the world is real, I can grasp all this" and so on.

Outsiders, theatergoers, whatever you want to call them.

I think I'm going to be broken, I think I'm going to be miserable, I think I'm going to step into hell and let the flames of hell burn me. It's not forced, it's not active, it's just happening.

No matter when it happens, no matter how long the shattering lasts, I will burn in it. Those flames, those great hellfires, will set the whole body on fire, the whole world on fire. There is nothing left behind because everything in this world is not real.

I was afraid, or rather, that mind was afraid.

Thinking about one's own death, that sense of fear, that sense of trance, all stems from the fear of not having a role. But in fact, there are no characters in the first place, and it is just the self-entertainment of the picture elements. That awareness is everything, where is the position of Yuan Changwen's character?

It's not that there's something outside that scares me, it's that I'm clinging to something inside and unwilling to discard the fear that results from these falsehoods.

All of this happened only in me, and it was just an inner killing. Those attachments, those emotional attachments to false things, are the objects of killing.

It's just, can I really survive this trip to hell?()

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