That discomfort struck again, and it broke into Yuan Changwen's heart so easily, bringing tears and slowly falling.

Yuan Changwen no longer remembers how many times he cried during this time, strictly speaking, how many tears should have been shed. I've never been a crying person, nor is he a person who is easily moved, but I don't remember the number of times I cried on the road to killing.

There is a problem that I have been ignoring all along. In fact, it was because the teacher told me that I believed it with peace of mind, and I never doubted it.

As for the map given by the teacher, I always want to locate myself according to the teacher's map. But why do I want to locate it? Why do I know my killing progress? Who wants to know?

Obviously, only the characters want to know. The character of Yuan Changwen regards the act of killing as a job, looking for progress and summarizing the law and then moving on. However, is killing a normal type of work? If you have a goal that you can achieve, you may never be able to kill yourself.

Or someone else can, but I can't. All the discussions are based on me, after all, I only know everything about me.

This kind of behavior of finding a map for positioning seems to be normal. But it's this normality that keeps me ignoring the truth of things. Is the map given by the teacher real? How do I know that this alternation of discomfort and ease is the inevitable effect of the killing?

How can I be sure that this discomfort is progress, and that sense of ease is the state after killing a certain self-definition?

Right, I don't know at all. Maybe when I finish the killing, I will look back and find that I have traveled so far, what kind of state will be in each step of the killing, or that discomfort will really guide me to move forward.

But that's only something that can be understood after the slaughter is over, and now, can I confirm that this discomfort and that sense of relief really mean that I am slashing and moving forward?

Can't confirm.

I can't kill the confirmation in my head and plump up another at the same time. Although these confirmations were given by the teacher, and although these states are in line with the teacher's explanation, how do I know that the teacher is correct?

In other words, even if the teacher has experienced it in this way, even if the teacher's path of killing is indeed an emotional slaughter, can this mean that I have experienced the same emotional alternation, so can I claim that I am in the midst of a killing?

No way, I have no way to confirm at all. It's just wishful thinking, because it was the teacher who said it, because the teacher has already finished killing, so the teacher's words must be correct.

This logic doesn't hold up at all, because I have no way of knowing that there is a path called slashing, and then walking on this path of slashing will produce all kinds of emotional pulls, and if there is an alternation between uncomfortable and relaxed, it means that I am slashing and advancing.

I have no way of knowing, nor can I confirm that there is a path to the objective fact of "killing". Since I can't confirm the path of killing, then I can't trust the teacher. This is not a tourist road, after the predecessors have walked through, look back and tell the younger generations what needs to be paid attention to.

Are we on the same path?

If everything I know is wrong, then are the teachings of these teachers in the same category? After all, these things are also known to me, and these things that "the so-called alternation of discomfort and ease means progress" and so on, are knowledge other than "I exist".

So, why do I look forward to that uncomfortable coming, or why do I think it's an unsettling situation to feel relieved and not finished?

Perhaps, that sense of ease is the sign of moving forward. Or, the alternation of discomfort and ease simply means that you are going around in circles. It's entirely possible, because I have no idea what that really means.

The teacher's words may be a guide, or maybe a beacon for me to give up physical suicide, so that I will not despair so much, so that I can continue to live and complete the killing. But these are just "maybes", and I can only claim to be honest that I don't know what these uncomfortable and easy alternations mean.

Just like the saying before, "When you are most sick, you are when you start to get better", this kind of statement must be healed before it is qualified to say this, and it is impossible for people who are sick to confirm this.

First of all, it is impossible to determine when it is "the worst time to get sick", and secondly, what if it dies directly? Then this sentence seems so pale and absurd, like a bad joke.

I don't know what this uncomfortable presence means, and I don't know if I'm killing, if I'm moving forward. I have no reason to know, and I have no evidence that I can know.

When I think of my past feelings, today's self will laugh at yesterday's self, and tomorrow's self will laugh at today's self.

Look, such a simple thing, I didn't even know about it. In other words, my dependence on teachers makes me dare not doubt these things at all. The teacher said that the alternation of discomfort and ease means that he is slashing and advancing.

So, I always look forward to the alternation of discomfort and relaxation, and once I appear, I will be very happy, thinking that I am satisfied with the state that the teacher said, thinking that I have started to kill and is already advancing.

However, this mentality itself needs to be killed.

And how do I know that the alternation of discomfort and ease means to me that the killing is a sign that I am moving forward?

Inadvertently, you are enriching the character's attributes, and inadvertently, you take the character's emotions as your own emotions.

Therefore, it is entirely possible that you are not moving forward at all, and it is entirely possible that your so-called uncomfortable and relaxed alternation only represents that you are going around in circles.

Yuan Changwen was very self-deprecating, but he didn't have much mood swings. This belief dissipated so lightly, with the bubbles rising in the depths of the lake.

There is no reason to show that the character of Yuan Changwen must be killed. What about the title of the first person in the Empire? What about being alone in a strange part of the universe?

There is no evidence that the brave will succeed, and there is nothing to prove that the heartbeat will bring a good life.

Instead of believing that a pounding heart can lead to something better, I couldn't believe in the twist in my head and I had no choice but to pound. Therefore, even if the heartbeat brings death, there is nothing to avoid.

What else is there to say about the unreal world?

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