Let me die.

Yuan Changwen's discomfort didn't know where it came from, but it was a ghost that enveloped him, as if he wanted to dig out the rotten things in his body. The first step in this excavation is to destroy the existing flesh.

I know this discomfort may be a good thing, but I can't change it. Although this is only a visual element that is perceived at the moment, it does not change this discomfort either.

There is nothing to keep, neither a lover nor a family member. Perhaps, there is something better ahead, maybe it is just a forever darkness. I don't know what the future holds, but I'm not willing to allow myself to go back to the way things were.

Perhaps, that's what I'm set up to be. Although there is no free will at all, although the character of Yuan Changwen is not me at all, although I have no idea what is going on in all this. But perhaps, this is the fate of the character of Yuan Changwen.

No one can escape fate, only the fate given by others, or the fate that you think. Whatever happens in the future is fate. Perhaps, this character is destined to stage a fate-breaking drama, but this act itself is fate.

I always think that I should be responsible for my actions, am I responsible, do I have the ability to be responsible?

Is a movie character really responsible for his actions when he cries out to be responsible? Are those so-called consequences of those events really caused by the characters' behaviors? And can any of the characters' behaviors escape the shackles of the script?

I've been hesitating about killing my lover. Because there is no such thing as "love", keeping a lover is more of a subconscious behavior.

Possession and control can never escape these two words.

Unconditional love, then means that there is no need for anything in return at all. In this case, it doesn't matter whether the so-called lover is by his side or in the arms of others. Otherwise, it's conditional love.

I just want to possess, I just want to control. Not just for loved ones, but for all people and things in the whole life. If you can't do it in reality, then you can fantasize about it.

On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with wanting to possess and control, after all, these are only the elements of the picture that are perceived at the moment. I don't have any ability to change the role of Yuan Changwen, and the so-called change is only the difference between the picture elements at the moment and the previous picture elements.

Strictly speaking, they are all picture elements that are perceived at the moment, but one belongs to the past in memory, and the other belongs to the present in memory.

The key point is that the theater viewer mode.

However, I can't just end the killing because I say that these are the words and deeds of the characters, these are the visual elements that I am aware of. Obviously, this is just an escape. Because I'm not in theater mode, I'm going to go back to the ignorance I had before.

Of course, strictly speaking, what to kill? I've always been that awareness, who can change that, who can make that awareness change or break it up and reassemble it?

Yuan Changwen found that he seemed to be becoming more and more unbearable, and the stubbornness of the role and the distortion in his mind seemed to have reached the critical point of tolerance. I used to be hypocritical for the sake of face, I would be full of smiles in order to take care of other people's emotions, and I would think that it was all family and enlighten my own emotions.

But now, it seems that no one else is important, only myself is the most important.

Actually, I should have realized this a long time ago. How can a person not be selfish, how can one be considerate of others? It's impossible, it's just "I think it's good for others," so is it?

Always selfish, and always selfish. Is there something that is not "I think"? Since it is "I think", then ignoring "I think" and replacing it with something kind, kind, helpful, warm-hearted, and so on, is itself a selfish act.

It's all for yourself, isn't it?

Think about it, if there is one thing that makes me feel bad and I am very reluctant to choose to do it. But in the end, I still chose to do this, what does it mean? Does it mean that I am for others? Can it be said that I am a person who values others more than myself?

It's just the result of weighing and choosing a choice that I think is important. In other words, I chose a choice that I thought was easy to bear.

That's all.

If it is selfish, why should it be called such a noble name?

A kind person, a helpful person, a warm-hearted person, a person who always lends a helping hand, a person who thinks more about others than for himself...... It's all.

Let others live well, think about others, and always suffer for themselves, such people are also selfish. Because he is here to be happy, right, seeing others happy is like eating honey in his heart.

It's just that some people make themselves happy by singing, some people make themselves happy by watching movies or playing games, and some people help others to get happy. Isn't this for yourself? Isn't it selfish?

Even if it is the so-called no choice, it is a choice that makes you comfortable. For example, a family member is kidnapped and then has to do something. Then you can choose to ignore the kidnappers, and you can not kidnap at all.

It's not that there are no options, right, obviously, there are options. Moreover, there is also the option to commit suicide, which will always be there. All the choices are to choose the one that makes you the most comfortable, or in other words, the least uncomfortable.

My family is more important than anything else, so when my family is kidnapped, I will choose to listen to the kidnappers and do something to make peace with you. Is this noble? What is there to be sad about? If someone does not care about his family and chooses the so-called righteousness, what is there to praise about this?

It's all selfish, but how do I know what's good for me?

Yuan Changwen hurriedly threw away this idea, and it was better not to touch the distortions in his mind again, those distortions were not as simple as shit. Or shit with intelligence and good at tactics, my restraint over the years is the best proof of this.

Are people all selfish?

Yuan Changwen doesn't know, how do I know the state of others. I am selfish, or rather, any words and actions I say or do are out of my own mind. In other words, it was my dad's own ideas that were imposed on others.

Although this kind of imposition does not seem to be opposed by others, and it seems that the empire likes this kind of so-called "help" imposition, the essence has not changed in the end. If that's not selfish, then there's nothing I can say.

Of course, selfishness is also false and does not exist in itself. Just like the so-called downstream and countercurrent, when there is only one behavior, any dualistic vocabulary is just a distortion in the mind.

There's no selfishness, and there's no generosity or anything like that. ()

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