Every time I mention the word "farther", I always feel like I can't move forward at all. It's like a short break from mountaineering, which can easily become sedentary, and eventually it can turn into camping nearby.

Of course, these are all hallucinations. Just as I felt that I couldn't move forward before, now that I've come here, it means that the previous "can't move forward" is completely an illusion. Then, the "inability to move forward" at this moment will also be an illusion.

Yuan Changwen returned to the hut with a somewhat dazed expression. Because the previous sense of relaxation gradually disappeared, it seemed that he had retreated from the state of unity between heaven and man to the state of separation again.

Something was holding me back, it felt obvious, but not strong. I still don't know what's holding me back, and it seems like I'm going to be stuck in a situation where I don't know how to move again.

But not yet, I don't know if it's an illusion, I always feel that what is blocking me this time is very thin, as if it's just a veil. Of course, it's just a feeling, just as I feel like I'm drinking water, and there's no escaping the phrase "I'm aware."

Damn it!

I'm looking back!

Yuan Changwen found that he actually went back to find his previous thoughts, and wanted to use the "super VIP" way of thinking again to make himself relaxed.

Look ahead!

Coward!

I can go on with the idea of "super VIP" all the time, but it's not real, I'm not done yet. If it's just for lightheartedness, why should I embark on this path, this dark, gloomy and angry path of slashing.

What's holding me back?

Mother, wife, family, career, income, money, social status, and a brilliant future?

Yuan Changwen was a little irritable, this feeling was very unpleasant, he knew that something was blocking him, but he didn't know what it was.

It's still a fantasy about cool points, although it's very old-fashioned, although it's been said countless times, it's still an unsolved problem. In other words, there is still no bad habit to get rid of. If I can't get rid of the fantasy about coolness, then I can't get rid of the fear, so what's the difference between me and before?

Afraid of the bewitching woman, dancing, the thin veil with a strange fragrance, intoxicated me. Even though I thought I had seen through it every time, I was still in a thin veil. It's unbelievable that this kind of thin veil, which can be torn apart, can easily play with me.

The layering is too strong, and with each tear layer, I see what I expect and think this is the truth. In fact, it's just a trick to fear the bewitching woman. Every time you kill something of self-definition, you will use a brief period of clarity and lightness.

At that time, I felt that I was so stupid that I didn't even figure out such a simple question. Even deep down, it will spread, "Is this all over, I am very happy and relaxed now." ”

However, when I take out the word "farther", I realize that I don't know how far I am from completion. Stand up and move on.

Then, the whole process is like reincarnation, once again confused and not knowing how to take a step, slashing again to get easy, and moving forward again. Is this the so-called layering? It must be pierced layer by layer unswervingly?

There's nothing to say, I'm not sure of anything, all perceptions are a distortion, what else is there to say? There's nothing standing in my way, it's just my false self-definition. Although I recognize those false self-definitions as true, I am only pretending to be true after all.

I pretended so deep that I didn't even know it was a pretend. Now, when I see these pretenses, it's time to kill. The role of Yuan Changwen is not me at all.

I don't know how the role of Yuan Changwen came out, and how I can only perceive the belonging of the role of Yuan Changwen, I don't know any of these questions.

But I can confirm, the only thing I can affirm, is "I exist", and that's the only one.

Isn't it that after so many years, the little brain has adapted to this universe very well, and lives those unverifiable guesses as affirmative sentences. So, even though I knew I was supposed to be in a state of "uncertainty", my little head was still firmly grasping for the state of certainty, and then I couldn't find out.

It's like staying in the toilet for a long time, you won't feel that the stinks.

Isn't the fantasy of cool points a state of "certainty"?!

I fantasized about what the future would look like, and I designed the plot and dialogue myself. Even though I know it's not real and it's just my fantasy, I can't help but refine the plot, which is a kind of "certainty"!

Ha!

What is not my fantasy? Is the so-called planning not a fantasy? Even if I have a cup in my hand, this is also a fantasy.

What exactly is fantasy? In fact, it is a kind of "thinking," and the word "fantasy" is nothing more than a rational imagination that relies on certain things to develop for the sake of distinction. For example, "I will finish reading this book in this month", this is a plan and not a fantasy.

"I'll slay monsters on the top of a mountain, and then Edgeworth will fly" is a fantasy.

But their essence is the same, just the content is different.

As I said before, the fact that I have a cup in my hand does not prove that the cup is real. Because, I just realized that "the character of Yuan Changwen has a cup in his hand", that's all.

The point is that the character of Yuan Changwen is not more real than a cup.

I always subconsciously think that I am real, and then I think about this series of questions about the reality of the universe. In fact, the character of Yuan Changwen is equally unreal. Only "I exist" is the only truth.

So, how did all this come about? If the cup is not real, then how does the cup exist?

Yuan Changwen suddenly felt irritable, obviously unable to handle these problems. The spiritual power began to expand wantonly, without any reservations, as if to vent the irritability in his heart.

Why is there a cup? Instead of no cup? Instead of having a stool?

Yuan Changwen's mental power quickly dispersed, and he vented vigorously as if he were dying. The entire green aura seemed to ripple, and although it was slight, scientists outside still captured the unusual data.

Wrong!

This is misleading.

Yuan Changwen suddenly reacted, how do I know that there is a cup here? In fact, I am aware that "there is a cup here", so "there is a cup here" belongs to the content of my awareness. As for how the content came about and why it came about, how do I know?

Even, I don't know if the content is real or not. Then, for the discussion of falsehood, it must be at the level of falsehood.

Is that so?

Yuan Changwen himself was not sure, but the discomfort in his heart became more and more obvious. It seemed that the thing that was holding me back was gradually getting bigger and slowly pressing down on me.

I don't know if I can see clearly whether the problem I am facing is or not.