It's hard to say that Lu Ling is depressed.

All this time, she could always see the sympathy in the eyes of people here and there, and she knew that it was a basic upbringing and kindness. But as she told her best friends, she didn't know how to react to it. And in that gaze, it was as if she should be depressed, as if her father had died. She didn't care about that, but she felt more or less embarrassed, and more of a ridiculous feeling. She was not depressed, even the initial sadness had been diluted by time, and most of the time, when she remembered it, she fell into a kind of empty thought.

For example, what is the state of a person after death? In this way, she felt that she was back to the state she was in when she was seven or eight years old. At that time, she thought, first, that she would never know what it was like to be a boy, and second, that a person would never know what it was to die while he was alive.

On the night after a draw, and with the new story she learns about Phil, she's a little down. Just like the team's results in the last week, they went out in the FA Cup and failed to score a goal in the first leg of the Carabao Cup semi-final. She struggled to adjust her mood in the car, she didn't want to bring bad emotions to her soon-to-be-met lover. They hadn't seen each other in nearly two weeks, and she didn't want to complain to her about all the bad things that had been going wrong this night. Still, she thought, he wouldn't mind listening to her complain all night. Thinking of this, she finally had a smile on her face.

When the door opened, she jumped on top of the man, as she had done many times in the past, and it had always been a simple thing for him to hold her.

His face was full of surprise: "I thought you would be disappointed if you played to draw with Arsenal today. ”

She grabbed his black hair, "ell... I was really disappointed, but here you are. ”

He laughed and snorted, lifted her up, and they began to kiss.

During this period, the two of them didn't talk much, and occasionally flirted a few words, only one complaint disturbed the atmosphere a little.

“*，ican'katyour*ingaistandbum... (Damn, I can't even fucking look at your waist and ass.) He said.

His voice was very low, but she heard it clearly, and she wanted to pretend not to hear, but she still responded, "Then don't look at it, dear." ”

And this sentence may have angered him, and it became more and more intense in the future, but no one said anything more, only the gasps of each other.

As they lay down on the bed, he suddenly asked, "Do you mind if I smoke a cigarette?"

Lu Ling also sat up a little, "Here?"

"I can also go downstairs or outside. He said as he got up and dressed.

She tugged at him, "Unless you give me one." ”

He was a little surprised, but he nodded.

The two of them lay on the bed and lit a cigarette, and no one made a sound in the smoke.

Lu Ling flicked the cigarette ash awkwardly, and suddenly spoke: "Thank God, my housekeeper will come over tomorrow, and I will tell her to help me change the sheets and covers." ”

Nicholas took a puff of his cigarette and said: "Babe, I'm going back to Liverpool with the team tomorrow night, and there's a big league game on Sunday. ”

"Of course. 'She puffed out her cigarette and on Super Sunday, QPR against Chelsea and Everton against Manchester United.

"Why do I think you're a little disappointed?" he asked her, puffing out his cigarette and turning his head and smiling.

Lu Ling sniffed the fingers of her right hand, she didn't like the smell of nicotine left over. She got out of bed, naked, and faced him, "Don't worry, Nick, you know I totally understand this, but isn't it normal for me to be disappointed? ”

She said that she was about to go to the bathroom, and he leaned over and grabbed her wrist, "If you say you want me to stay......"

Lu Ling shook off his hand, "Don't stay, training sessions on Thursday and Friday are always very important, and they are generally tactical training for opponents. If you stay because of me, I will feel uncomfortable. ”

Nicholas shrugged, "OK."

Pleased with his reaction, she turned and headed for the bathroom.

He looked at her back, it was graceful, but it was something more. He was reluctant to mention it again, but not mentioning it did not mean that it did not exist. He had to accept this, as he had promised.

He also got up from the bed.

In the mirror, he hugged her from behind. She rubbed her right hand vigorously, like a surgeon who had just finished surgery, and her movements and expressions were full of paranoia.

"Why do you smoke if you hate it?" he asked her in her ear.

Lu Ling still lowered her head, and she was still rubbing her hands vigorously: "I'm a little depressed." ”

"Is there any other reason besides your dad and the game?"

Lu Ling put his hand under the water, and the white foam was being washed away, "Yes." She washed for a while before turning off the faucet, she turned around, leaned against the bath, and asked him, "Have you ever come across that...... Have you ever touched that kind of player who is very hungry for love?"

He frowned, "What kind of love?"

"It's not romantic love, it's more like ......"

He lifted his eyebrows and smiled, "Yes, but I wasn't a coach at the time." "I was a scout. I work mainly in Europe, so most of the players I meet are from the lower middle class, but they don't have any problems with their basic needs. Of course, there are exceptions. What I remember the most was a kid playing in Ligue 2. He was of mixed French and Senegalese descent, his mother was Senegalese, and he and his four siblings lived a very difficult life alone. ”

It's a bit like Phil. Lu Ling thought. It was typical, she didn't even need to ask Phil's mother's story, she could roughly guess because she had classmates.

She became an unwed mother when she was a teenager, and by the time she was in her twenties, she might have several children, and even the father of the child was not alone. Basic living is guaranteed because there is a welfare policy.

But......

It is limited to the basic necessities of life, and there is nothing more. In all likelihood, their children will repeat the lives of their parents.

If Phil hadn't already played in the first team at QPR, he would be repeating her mother's life.

She never criticizes these things, she just doesn't like to see such stories and such lives.

Nicolas continued: 'I went to watch a couple of his games, I talked a lot with his agent and his Academy manager, and of course I talked a lot with him personally, you know that a player's character is important and it needs to be written in the scouting report. At that time, I was twenty-seven years old and he was seventeen...... Maybe my French is too good......" he joked, and soon returned to seriousness, "He's very simple, and he craves love, and anyone can see it." He treated me, a stranger whom he had only met a few times, as if he were his own brother, and he would even tell me what kind of girl he had met the day before, and then he would think about that girl all night. ”

"And then?"

Nicholas was silent for a moment and said: "He is a winger and my interest in him is mainly due to his explosiveness, but when I went to see him for the sixth time, he was injured ......"

"Seriously injured?"

"Yes, the cruciate ligament of the knee is badly ruptured. He chuckled astringently, "He's fine, he should be affected as well." I didn't put him on my list of recommendations, and I never saw him again. ”

"Sad story. ”

"Yes, there are a lot of stories like that in our world. He kissed her cheek. He looked up again, and the girl in his arms looked a little blank. She turned around in his arms, as if she had forgotten to wash her hands, and turned on the faucet again.

"You're talking about Bachmayer, who doesn't look like a boy desperately thirsting for love. He asked, looking at the girl in the mirror with her head down.

This time she just flushed it and turned off the faucet, she looked up and looked at the man in the mirror as well, "I hope it's just that I'm thinking too much." She tugged at the corners of her mouth, "No, not Hans, but I don't want to tell you who it is." He told me one thing tonight, but I can't tell you either, and I promised him. That incident upset me a little. ”

"Okay, I don't ask. Thank you for your candor. But how do you know that the boy is not seeking romantic love in you? For young boys who have problems with fatherhood or motherhood, they may not be able to tell the difference at all. ”

Lu Ling shook her head, it was difficult for her to explain clearly, she only knew that what she felt was indeed something that didn't look like a romantic. She had no intention of continuing the topic, grabbed her arm from behind, twisted her waist, and asked ambiguously, "Is this the case tonight?"

Nicholas whispered, "That's it, I'm tired, probably because I'm getting old......"

Lu Ling was stunned for a moment, feeling a little embarrassed, and of course a little disappointed in his heart. But she couldn't show it, she didn't want him to be sad, it's just, how could such a proud man say such a thing...... Moreover, he has been sticking to her, obviously in that state......

"I was distracted! I can't believe I believed you for a second!" she turned around, raising her voice and smiling at him.

He just looked at her and smiled, but didn't speak, and before she could react, he lifted her to the bathing table......

"Silly little girl, my silly little girl......" he muttered in Spanish, and then heard her soft cry of contentment.

Her playing card tattoo in the mirror stung his eyes, and he looked away to look down at the scarlet narcissus, which he loved.

****

Saturday, January 12th.

In the second match of La Liga returning from the winter break, Barcelona will face derby rivals Espanyol.

Patrick and Neymar laughing in the tunnel. Although it was a derby, the mood of the Barcelona players seemed to be relatively relaxed. Barcelona are currently six points ahead of second-placed Real Madrid in the standings, and six points is a hopeless gap between the two teams.

Messi came over and was in a good mood, he smiled and said to Patrick: "Today's game is over, come to my house for dinner? Messi pointed at Neymar with his chin.

Patrick nodded, "Okay, your yerba mate has always been delicious." ”

Today's Camp Nou is full of people, and because it is a derby, there is a lot more hostile atmosphere. In the huge stadium, players from both teams slowly walked in.

Patrick subconsciously touched his tattoo, but a wicked, whirling clown face flashed through his mind......

The race is on.

Barça's advantage is huge. After Pep Guardiola's return, the team has been rejuvenated. Andres Iniesta retired at the end of last season and Sergio Busquets was added to the bench, replaced by young German midfielder Dahoud and young Spanish midfielder David Muñoz.

Pep Guardiola's dream team at 08-12 is still the only ones who can still play in the team, Gerard Pique and Lionel Messi, both of whom are 31 years old. Pique has had many injuries this season, in fact, only Messi is the main force, but his running ability is already very insufficient.

As a result, Patrick has to take on a lot of running tasks as a young player in attack, and Pep Guardiola has asked him to cover the wings, be involved in defence, and also take care of the surprise attack up front. During the winter break, he basically did not stop maintaining his physical condition. So, since his return, he has been in good form.

In the fifth minute, Patrick cut straight down the left. As a two-legged player, he can often switch positions with Neymar and make opponents unguardable. This time the cross found Neymar, who slotted home with an easy volley.

The Camp Nou fans cheered. However, this is only a surprise for Barcelona fans. All the points were that this match, like most games, would be an easy one.

In the 12th minute, Patrick won the ball on the right and then ran all the way to the middle to split the ball. Only Neymar followed up on the counter-attack, his shot blocked, but Messi, who came from behind, slotted the ball straight into the bottom of the net from the outside.

It's easy.

Espanyol are not very strong and they are still battling relegation this season. After celebrating with his teammates, Patrick was bumped on the shoulder by one of the opponent's players as he ran back.

He looked up, but couldn't remember the other person's name. David Muñoz immediately rushed over to give Patrick a head, but was separated by the referee.

Patrick didn't react much the whole time. He just spat on the ground.

David Muñoz, seeing that Patrick was not in high spirits despite making two goals, came over and patted him on the shoulder: "Ignore that bastard Pablo Flores. That guy just wants to you off, and he always does. ”

It turned out to be the name, Patrick thought. Another Flores. Of course, it's just a common Latin surname.

Pablo Flores is a native Catalan, but grew up in Espanyol's academy rather than Barcelona's. He has always had a bad reputation in La Liga as a "butcher" type of midfielder who can get into trouble.

Patrick looked at teammate David Muñoz in front of him. Although he is only over 170 tall and has only turned 20 years old, he is very aura, and the outside world thinks that he will be a good candidate for the future Barcelona captain. Patrick smiled, "I'm fine. ”

For the next 15 minutes, the Spaniard suddenly stepped up his physical harassment of the Barcelona players. They were very ferocious – as they always have against Barça, and the referee seemed to be a little too indulgent.

Patrick was fouled twice, but he still asked for the ball on the right halfway. After receiving the ball and cooperating with Messi, he entered the enemy line.

Neymar was in a receiving position, but not a good passing target. Patrick had already made up his mind at a glance.

His eyes fluttered, his left shoulder sank slightly, and his speed slowed down. The opponent in front of him thought he was going to aim for a pass, but Patrick suddenly accelerated to a clean speed.

Neymar seems to be a bit offside, but that's okay.

Pablo Flores was in front of Patrick, and his opponent's position seemed good, but Patrick passed with a slight flicker. Flores leaned in immediately, but could no longer stop him, so he gave Patrick a hard kick in the shin.

The kick sent Patrick stumbling slightly, and the referee was already holding the whistle.

Barcelona's No.7 immediately steadied himself and continued to move forward. This all happened in just two or three seconds. In front of him, there was only one central defender of the opponent, and the other central defender was staring at Neymar.

The centre-back kept a reasonable distance and got stuck in the direction of Patrick's dribbling, forcing Patrick to slow down.

Patrick jerked back, no longer rushing forward to the left.

He made a big smash and let the ball pass over the right side of his body.

Despite reaching a height of 180, Patrick's movements are as elusive as a catfish. He's physically strong, but not overly strong, and has a rare amount of agility for a player of his height.

Neymar once said that he was simply more Brazilian than Brazilian.

Messi has also said that Patrick moves as fast as a 170 tiny man.

He then made a quick move forward and, amid the exclamations of the audience, rushed towards the goalkeeper.

Pablo Flores is chasing back, he's fast, but can't keep up. Only barely reach Patrick's right foot. He stepped on it.

Patrick gasped. The pain in the heart came from the toes.

He still shook off his opponent and finally stabbed the ball into the goal with an unbalanced center of gravity.

It was another great goal, Patrick's twentieth goal of the season in La Liga.

The audience fell into a frenzy. Teammates rushed up.

But Patrick Amber collapsed in the box. The moment his shot ended, he clung to his right foot in pain.

The pain whirled around him, and it was a pain he hadn't felt in his career so far.

Barcelona's team doctor rushed into the field.

****

Lu Ling hadn't watched TV for a few minutes, and she turned off the sound again in the morning, she was reading an email from Monchi, and a player's agent informed Monchi that his clients could now transfer.

And this player is a big-name star that Lu Ling never thought of again.

If it had been in the past, she wouldn't have considered that recommendation because the star is quite old and she generally prefers a younger approach to building teams. But the bottleneck encountered by the team recently made her think a lot, and at this time, she suddenly had inspiration.

This made her feel good all of a sudden, and she picked up the coffee cup in her hand, and was about to drink it, when she raised her eyes.

On TV, it's Patrick's anguished face. 166 Reading Network