Yuan Changwen pressed his hands on the sink, just ate the noodles, and burped.

Maybe the noodles were a little salty, Yuan Changwen picked up the water cup and drank a few big sips.

The water passes through the throat, slowly enters the esophagus, and comes to the stomach.

The sudden increase in weight brought the slowly wriggling stomach to a slight pause, and then began its never-ending work.

The fear just now also dissipated at this time.

Although there is no sense of fear at this moment, Yuan Changwen will not forget that when fear befell him just now, the powerlessness, trembling, like the prelude to death.

This feeling was experienced by Yuan Changwen in different periods.

When I was in school, I imagined that I failed the college entrance examination and then faced various scenarios.

When I was working, I imagined that I didn't complete the task, was fired by the boss, and then faced with various scenarios of not working.

And that's just now.

It's strange that it is only when I imagine that such a serious fear can occur.

Yuan Changwen began to think carefully, trying to find out the source of this fear.

That, self-woven content.

Soon, Yuan Changwen came up with the answer, which was "no".

It's not a simple denial of a job, a job, but a total denial!

After the denial, I have nothing!

When I was in school, learning was the only thing I did, and it was the content that made up more than 90% of myself. Once you imagine the final task, the failure of the college entrance examination is equivalent to a denial of the entire student age.

Although it may seem like a joke now, at that time, I was under pressure from my teachers and parents, and my academic performance was almost everything.

And when I work, I am surrounded by the social trend, and it seems that I am a sinner if I don't work. Then imagine that you have lost your job, have no income, and have to sleep alone on the streets, picking up food from the garbage to make a living.

Fear struck again.

It is only when there is total denial that the fear of almost death emerges.

That is, the negation of the "self"?

Yuan Changwen scrutinized carefully, unwilling to find an excuse to fool around again, or pretend that it didn't happen again.

At that time, whether it was a student or the early days of work. Most of the content of weaving self is relatively monotonous, either working or studying.

Therefore, when you completely deny work or study, it is equivalent to completely denying the "self" you have weaved.

Why not be afraid?

This situation is definitely terrifying!

Because the ego is almost completely killed, it doesn't want to be killed, it wants to resist, it wants to survive.

So, it brings fear. It's a signal for its survival, something it's desperately trying to grasp.

Yuan Changwen found that the arrival of fear this time was the same.

I imagined that I had cleared all my "self", and then fear occurred.

If you think about it, how does the "self" survive?

How did I get rid of my fear at that time?

Yuan Changwen opened the kitchen window to let in the air, and by the way, he also looked at the night outside.

It seems that the world is still very beautiful, so why should I dwell on unhappy things?

Thinking about this, and not being able to eat and make money, will only cause disharmony in the family.

Why bother?

There are still many beautiful things waiting for us in the world, so why can't we get along with ourselves?

Yuan Changwen took a deep breath and wanted to end this thought, but he suddenly reacted.

Shift the target!

Here's the answer.

Knowing that I have seen fear, but I have begun to subconsciously shift my goal, this is the survival method of the "self".

The existence of the "self" comes from various definitions of weaving, no matter who weaves this definition, anyway, it is to keep weaving to ensure one's own survival.

Moreover, in order to keep weaving the self, the "self" has also come up with a good way.

No, it was the demon who came up with it.

Take advantage of anxiety.

More and more knowledge appears, and human beings find themselves mastering less and less parts, and it is natural to envy those elites who are so knowledgeable.

When you look back at yourself and think about the future, anxiety will definitely arise.

In order not to be anxious, most people will choose the most normal method, which is to study desperately and constantly replenish knowledge.

Isn't the cognitive upgrade that has been more popular in recent years based on this?

What is cognition? To put it bluntly, it is weaving oneself!

More and more cognition, that is, more and more self, this makes sense and that makes sense, but it just can't live this life.

Because the more content we weave into ourselves, the easier it is to interact with reality, and the more contradictory situations will occur.

Then, there will be a steady stream of negative emotions.

Isn't cognitive upgrading bad?

Is it wrong to renew the system of your own brain and not be abandoned by the times?

Is ignorance a good thing?

Isn't it good to be eager to learn and get in touch with a wider range of cognition?

!

Yuan Changwen roared in his heart, and these rhetorical questions disappeared without a trace in an instant.

It's the same demon again, trying to deceive me.

The question now is not whether the cognitive upgrade is good or not!

It's that all self-weaving is false.

All new "self", all weaving new self-definition, is the "self" wants to live and want to survive.

My fear stems from the total denial of the "self", and on the previous occasions, I have been deceived by the devil into letting go of the "self" that is about to die.

Yuan Changwen lay on the windowsill, grabbed the window frame with both hands, and said indignantly.

I've had enough of the trick of the "ego"!

I want to see who I am without these egos!

Fear, you're about to appear!

This time, I won't be in the unconscious!

I'm going to take a good look at you and see what exactly is at the center of fear!

Don't try to control me easily!

…………

The wife was secretly at the door of the kitchen, looking at Yuan Changwen with a hideous expression, and she was very scared.

Will he hit me?

Will he kill me while I'm not looking?

The wife quietly left, took out her mobile phone in the living room, and made a call.

…………

"Hey, your mother's phone. ”

Yuan Changwen was stunned, his mother's phone?

After taking his wife's mobile phone, Yuan Changwen didn't look at it carefully, and said:

"Mom, what's wrong?"

Mom: "How many times have I said that when you two are together, you just want to live a good life." Is there any problem that cannot be discussed? If you take a step back, I will take a step back, won't it be solved?"

Yuan Changwen: "Hmm. ”

Mom: "If you promise quickly, you will know that you are perfunctory to me." I know what's good for you, don't be angry all day long, it's still a long time, that's the person who will accompany you for a lifetime. ”

Yuan Changwen: "Not necessarily. ”

Mom: "What is not necessarily, do you want to divorce? Mom tells you, don't think that divorce is much better, finding someone else is not necessarily better than the original match." ”

Yuan Changwen: "All this is just your own thoughts, and even these ideas are not necessarily the result of your own thinking." ”

Mom: "What's wrong with you, son, don't scare Mommy." ”

Yuan Changwen: "It's nothing, I'm just thinking about some problems." ”

Mom: "What's the problem?" Tell Mom and see if Mom can solve it for you. ”

Yuan Changwen: "I'm thinking, who am I. ”

Mom: "......"

…………

Yuan Changwen hung up the phone and returned the phone to his wife.

"How about it? In front of your mother, you still dare to be scared?!"

Yuan Changwen smiled and said: "Your 'self' is really interesting, as if you will be very happy when you see me deflated." ”

The wife raised an eyebrow and said proudly: "The old lady is like this, what, are you not convinced?"

Yuan Changwen: "I didn't disagree, but I didn't expect that the relationship between us has been so bad that 'using the embarrassment of the other party and the embarrassment of the other party as the source of my own happiness'." It's crazy to think about it, we pretend to love each other deeply, but deep down we are like this?"

Wife: "Hmph, what, do you think it's a mistake to marry me? Do you still regret that you didn't choose Luo Wen back then?" Hmph, tell you Yuan Changwen, don't even think about it in this life. You won't be able to pass your mother's level. ”

Yuan Changwen: "My mother, I am not the same as before, although I still don't know who I am." But I know that my 'self' is not what it used to be. Even if you want to recover, it's impossible.

You still think that my mother can limit my decisions, and I will do something for my mother to make me uncomfortable. Many times, if a person wants to do something, no one else can interfere, as long as that person really wants to do it. ”

Wife: "What do you want to do?"

Yuan Changwen: "When Sun Yat-sen wanted to overthrow the Qing government, would his mother say, 'Son, this kind of thing is still too dangerous, my mother doesn't care how much you have accomplished, she just hopes that you are safe.'" 'Will you?'

When Xiang Yu killed himself, his mother would say, 'Don't commit suicide, stupid child, come to your mother if you have any problems.' I can't get rich, but at least I can save my life. 'Will you?'

When Confucius traveled around the world, would his mother stop him and say, 'Don't go around, you still have to honor your mother, honestly find a job, live a down-to-earth life, don't think so much.' 'Will you?'

Will it?