On the bed in the bedroom, a girl's head was buried deep in the crooks of her arms, her hair was sparse and less than an inch long, her snow-white scalp was clearly visible, and her whole body trembled slightly like a bow that had been forcefully pulled apart.

The door was tightly closed, and there was a small white lamp on the dresser at the head of the bed, and under the pale yellow light were scattered some open pill boxes, and a glass with boiling water, and there was no white mist rising in the cup, which must have been sitting for a while.

There was a knock on the door, the force was just not light or heavy, slow and rhythmic, and then a bass voice came, "Yanzi, have you finished taking the medicine?" The swallow didn't answer, but kept the same posture. Yuqiu reminded again, and then pushed the door and walked in. "Yanzi, are you uncomfortable?" As soon as she came in and saw Yanzi's posture, Yuqiu asked worriedly.

The swallow still didn't speak.

"Yanzi, don't scare me, go, I'll take you to the hospital!" Yuqiu's heart has already risen to his throat, he has been worried about every day for such a long time, lest if he doesn't take care of it well, Yanzi will have something to lose, and he can't afford to hurt it. Yuqiu said, already grabbing Swallow's arm and trying to pull her up.

Hearing Yuqiu's nervous voice, Yanzi slowly raised her head, "Yuqiu, I'm fine, I'm just ......" Before the words were finished, tears had already begun to fall.

"What's going on?" Yuqiu asked with concern, stretching out her arm, holding the swallow in her arms and sticking it to her chest.

This dose of gentleness made the swallow completely relaxed, and the whole person was tightly attached to Yuqiu's chest, and the tears that broke the embankment soaked Yuqiu's clothes for a while. Looking at this situation, there must be something, Yuqiu thought to herself, but it seems that she still has to wait for Yanzi to calm down before asking. Yuqiu hugged the swallow like this, motionless, feeling the swallow's emotions.

After a long time, Yanzi quieted down, "Yuqiu, I did something sorry for Xiaolan, one of my classmates is still single, I'm sorry for the two of them, I don't have the face to see them again." ”

Yuqiu's face was a little stunned, but he quickly resumed thinking, but he was not very clear about the ins and outs, and he couldn't talk about it a lot, so he only lamented softly, "If you do something wrong, you have to face it bravely." ”

Yanzi recalled, while saying, "During college, Rufeng and Xiaolan were like a pair of beautiful people, and their talents and appearances were very matched, but as a friend, I have never had a good impression of Rufeng, one is because many girls in the class and even the school like him very much, and even take the initiative to post it at all costs, Xiaolan has a gentle temperament, and is often secretly bullied by some girls for some reason, but I don't know how to fight back, as a friend, I have always been very worried, and I am also in a hurry." If it weren't for the wind, how could there be so many things. The second is that Rufeng and Wang Sisi are brothers and sisters, I don't know what the relationship is, this kind of ambiguity is what I hate the most. Then, then I found an opportunity to lie to Xiaolan, and deliberately created a misunderstanding between Rufeng and Wang Sisi, so that Xiaolan could see it with her own eyes. ”

"What's Xiaolan's reaction?"

In pain, she didn't say a word, and lay on the bed in the dormitory for three days without getting up. I was terrified and regretted, but I was afraid that she would know the truth, that she would blame me, that she would hate me, that she would lose her friend. Swallow's eyes were closed, and the scene from a few years ago appeared to her in earnest.

"Xiaolan, do you know that Rufeng doesn't take you to heart at all, he is a playboy. The day before yesterday, I saw him and Wang Sisi holding hands, talking and laughing, I went up to question him, he looked like he couldn't be beaten, and he deceived people too much. ”

"You're not mistaken, right? Wang Sisi is his sister, impossible, I also treat her as a sister, I understand their character. ”

"Am I going to lie to you?! Even if I am wrong and dazzled, then what he said himself will not be false. He said that he said that so many girls liked him, and he didn't play enough, and it was too much of a loss. ”

"Impossible! Rufeng is not such a person!"

"I have no grievances with him, you are my best friend, I can find someone who loves you, I am happy for you, but Rufeng is really unreliable, you better be careful. ”

Yuqiu saw that the swallow was motionless, and began to worry again, "You were motionless just now, were you reminiscing about the past? Caring and loving a person is not to impose your own will on the other party, nor to intervene domineeringly, but to respect and help her grow, you really shouldn't do this, but there are some things that have the word fate, everything in the world is difficult to escape its influence, since it has passed, you don't have to blame yourself too much." The most important thing for you now is to find a way to resolve the pain brought to them, after many years, Xiaolan is married and has a daughter, she should have let go of the old love, even if there are regrets, she can figure it out. It is estimated that the most unaware and sad thing she understands is that you lied to her, and as a best friend, this feeling and pain of being deceived is the deepest. As for Rufeng, the matter has come to this, if you feel indebted, you might as well help him get out of this relationship and regain his life. ”

These words reminded Yanzi that her churning emotions calmed down, and a feeling that she had never felt before spontaneously arose. She looked at Yuqiu with an expression, thinking that she was steady and insightful, such a man who loved and guarded herself was the best gift from God to her. At this moment, although she was seriously ill, Yanzi felt more grounded than she had ever been.

And since I learned the truth of the matter that day, I have been heartbroken when I think of Yanzi, and I can't understand her behavior. However, I finally understood one thing: the fate of life is still in my own hands after all, and only by constantly enriching myself can I broaden my horizons and have enough self-judgment to not be easily influenced by others. Where should life go, you are the helmsman, what kind of color will life have, you are the person with a paintbrush in your hand, you can't change others, you can only block others out of life and cultivate. I'm just too gullible to be gullible, especially for the people around me who only act on feelings and don't want to think too much, which is the weakness of my character, so I wrote down these words in my notebook, ready to remind myself all the time.

In the days that followed, I deliberately didn't think about these things, except for spending time with my daughter every day, which was writing and continuing to plan new magazines. I put all my grief and anger into words, and in another world that I constructed, I talked to myself, crying when I wanted to, laughing when I wanted to, scolding when I wanted to, arguing when I wanted to, and it was a great feeling. So although I often lowered my head and lowered my neck and blurred eyes, I found that my heart was not so painful anymore, and I slowly calmed down.

Hadron was still silent during this time, leaving early and returning late, and seemed to be very busy. Every night when I came back, I hid in the study after eating and playing with my daughter for a while, but I didn't hear the game's unique sound of fighting, but instead the sound of the keyboard being constantly tapped, which was obviously much more pleasant than before. At the beginning, we fell in love and got married, and the two of us were lively every day, and when we were bored at work, we would make a few phone calls and chat for a while while we were free. There is not a single thing that is not done together, even the vegetable market is in and out of the same place, and occasionally not together, it is likely that both of them will go home with the same tomatoes and eggs. Later, we don't know when it became strange and strange, except for work, all kinds of messy things followed, and the heat of married life gradually cooled down in endless troubles. Is it his responsibility, or is it my responsibility? Thousands of thoughts were entangled, and the shadow of that girl appeared in front of me again. I don't have any clue yet, so let's just let it flow for now.

I shut myself up in my room, and let my life go on and off as the sun rises and sets, and my mood keeps changing between moods. Without the interference of outsiders, in the process of self-adjustment, I slowly found my own happiness, a happiness that belongs to me. Soon, half a month passed. During this period, I wrote very fast, almost 10,000 words a day, and seeing the number of words in the documents on the computer skyrocketing, some words often came to mind:

Happiness will appear when you feel life calmly in your heart, it is the joy of self-examination and condensation, we strive to chase what we want to get, saying that it is happiness, but in fact, most of it is infinite desire. Desire is not the same as happiness, it is an obstacle, a tiredness created by oneself in the name of happiness.

Why do we have lust, because we always easily believe in our eyes, the brilliance of fireworks makes it easy for us to ignore its fleeting nature, we long for one wonderful scenery after another, sometimes just to fill our eyes, have we ever seriously thought about the meaning of the journey, truly appreciate the beauty of the Mother of Nature, in the stop-and-go, tiredness or true joy is crucial, regardless of the amount of possession.

To be born to be alive or to be born to be a human being, it is all in a thought, and it changes in an instant.

I picked up my phone on the table and looked at it carefully. This is what Qiangzi sent me after the Liu Bin incident, and because of the anger he was crazy last time, the edges of the shell have been broken, and the speckled traces have become the evidence of that incident, clear and profound. The screen has been replaced, and although there is no trace of it, it is still engraved in my heart.

Undoubtedly, the phone has become a pitiful vent.

When has the advent of mobile phones changed our lives, reducing the distance of our communication to zero, and when it has become the object of people's dependence, better than relatives and friends, we bury our heads in it, never get tired of it, forget time, forget companionship, forget hard work. It has fulfilled its mission, but it seems that we are forgetting life as it is.

Is it its fault? When it bothered me, I hated it, and even hated it and depended on it. However, it is like a mirror, reflecting my joys and sorrows, reflecting my family and friendship, it is right, what is wrong is that my excessive pursuit of convenience has allowed it to trap my time and energy.

What was the girl who had an accident on the subway because she was looking at her mobile phone? Was the chat too hot, or was the video too good? The people who were waiting for the train were also looking for their own fun, right? Did they have too much time, or did they want to explore too much? Or did their souls not find support in reality? If the perpetrators were to attract attention, what were you for?

It's not wrong with the phone, it's the uncontrollable desire that makes the phone deformed.

As an ordinary woman, what is wrong with me, I have done nothing, but I have become the object of hatred in the eyes of others; I have been working hard and studying hard, but I have been used by my superiors as the lowest means of personality to win customers; I have always lived for my family, but even the people closest to me hate me and want to strangle myself; I have always cherished feelings, but even my cherished love is subject to the blind abandonment of others; I have always been proud of the friendship, but directly with the weapon of love to destroy my cherished love.

After my inner peace of mind, I kept thinking: how should I live in the future, and how should I face these people?