"Hey, what's going on with that person, why did he suddenly hit his head?"

"Who knows, who understands the world of mental illness?"

"You say, could it be that I just talked about money that made him crazy!"

"It's such an exaggeration, and the psychological quality is too poor. We don't care so much about money, we spend more and use less. ”

"Hey, how about we say we should tease him anymore and watch the show for free?"

Just as the opposite cell was quietly discussing, Yuan Changwen's thoughts began to fly again.

When you are alone, your thoughts are most likely to fly, and even anger can't last long.

Moreover, Yuan Changwen's anger is burning the "self", and the "self" must of course change direction in order to survive.

My mind was flying, and before I knew it, I thought about my first job.

At that time, I was interning at a science fiction magazine, and I didn't have any position, so I was the kind that anyone could call. Despite the arrangement of the so-called responsible person, but the person's colleague wants to run errands with himself, he will refuse?

That day was Friday, and Yuan Changwen deliberately asked for leave, because he had to go back to his hometown on Saturday to worship his ancestors, and he had to leave on Friday. But before leaving, Yuan Changwen handed in a science fiction article written by himself, which can be regarded as an insider's contribution.

Of course, Yuan Changwen himself is very satisfied, from the structure to the text, he is very satisfied. Although there are no mainstream elements in the story, there are its own life insights in it.

When Yuan Changwen was worshipping his ancestors, he had already begun to fantasize that the editorial department was shocked by this article. Because he turned off his mobile phone to worship his ancestors, the editor couldn't even contact him, and Yuan Changwen began to fantasize about the conversation with the editor after turning on the phone.

How to apologize, how to explain that the ancestor did not turn on the phone, and then discuss the article and so on.

As a result, the ancestor worship ended, and when I turned on my phone, Nima didn't have a single message!

During the entire 24-hour ancestor worship process, Yuan Changwen fantasized for 24 hours, and in the end, there was not a single fart!

Yuan Changwen was a little disappointed at the time, but he didn't care, just regarded it as an ordinary expectation, the greater the disappointment.

Now it seems that if I had cared and asked myself at the time, maybe my life would have changed completely later in life.

Follow-up what?

Of course, why fantasize!

Isn't it crazy enough to be alone and talk to the characters in your head?

I am obviously worshipping my ancestors, but I fantasize about talking to the editor, is this the behavior that should be?

If that's not called madness, then what's more!

Yuan Changwen held his brain hard and kept knocking, as if he wanted to shake out the dirty things inside.

Talk to yourself, talk to someone who is not in front of you.

That's enough!

Also, many times, I do things that my mother doesn't want to see, such as resigning without permission.

All kinds of reasons will roll in my mind, imagine sitting at the table with my mother, and then my mother will be persuaded by her various reasons.

What platform, what grasps life, what vision......

Let's all go to.

The only driving force that wants to convince my mother is fear.

Fear of being thought by my mother that I am wrong, fear of being thought that I have taken the wrong step, so I must strive to prove that I am right.

On the other hand, to put it nicely, I don't want my mother to worry, and I explained a lot for my mother, so that my mother can rest assured and understand that her resignation is not the end of the world.

!

If you don't resign, your mother won't worry. If it's really for my mother's peace of mind, then I shouldn't resign at all. Now that I have resigned, it shows that my mother's worries are deep in my heart, but they are not so important.

Also, are your various reasons and arguments really to keep your mother from worrying?

More of it, in fact, is still for yourself. I don't want to be old-fashioned all the time in my ears, and I don't want my mother to keep repeating the accusation that I am wrong.

Why not?

Because of fear.

The "self" does not want to be blamed, it needs to be nourished, and the denial of the "self" is, to a certain extent, a kind of killing. It asks for life, and it has to rebel.

Maybe it's a verbal confrontation, like myself, and I have found countless excuses to prove that I am right. In fact, it is the "ego" that wants to survive.

Perhaps, it will turn into a confrontation in the heart. On the surface, it seems to be submissive. In fact, the hatred in my heart is incomparable, and this is also the means of survival of the "self".

In order to avoid discussing these issues with his mother, after Yuan Changwen resigned, he did not hide it alone. When I got a job again, I found that I didn't have anything to tell my mother.

Therefore, so many conversations in the brain only exist in the brain.

Enough is Nyima!

Is this me?

Why did I agree with these things so much before, as if I had never seen the problem here?

Every time an emotion pulls, either yourself or others will come to comfort you, as if the first important thing is to get rid of negative emotions.

If you ask yourself at the time, why do you have this emotion?

The answer must be how the other party is wrong, where the other party is not doing well, and how things are.

Continue to ask, why is the other party wrong?

Everything is a self-woven definition, and if you see it earlier, you may be burdened with fewer definitions.

Yuan Changwen shook his head, there is not much difference, how much difference is there between 100,000 buildings and 90,000 buildings in the desert?

"Hey, buddy, are you crazy because you want money?"

"Hahahaha!"

Questioned in the opposite cell, then heckled, and then laughed.

Yuan Changwen looked at them, he wasn't angry, he just didn't understand what they were laughing at.

"Hey, stupid, aren't you? Think about your money, money! You're going to have no money!

Yuan Changwen was furious, and just wanted to scold back, but he instantly stopped his behavior.

Is it because they touch my "self" that I want to defend and abuse me?

If this is the case, then the survival of the "self" has become its own instinct.

When you touch something hot, your fingers will subconsciously retract. Something flies towards the eye and blinks subconsciously.

The survival of the "self" can already be compared with these real instincts.

Oh, my God!

The "self" is not me at all, but it can control the body and mind better than me.

All resistance is the maintenance of the "self", "what kind of person I am", and every self-definition is an important part of the "self".

Because the "self" is made up of a pair of self-definitions, it must maintain each self-definition and add all kinds of self-definitions like crazy.

In this way, it can survive very well and perfectly.

What's the difference between this and a virus?

No matter how you deny it, how you defend it, talk about social reality, talk about success, talk about interpersonal relationships, whatever you want.

There is one thing that cannot be escaped, that is, the "self" is not me, it is just an addition to the background.

For more than twenty years, it has firmly occupied me, made me identify with it, and made me mistake it for myself.

If I hadn't had enough of the emotional tug, I wouldn't have seen this.

Yuan Changwen suddenly felt funny, in the past 20 years, have you really lived?

Yes.

There are still many beautiful things, such as chasing on the grass, a big meal when I was a child, sweetness when I was in love, etc., too much.

Unfortunately, these will also be killed.

Yuan Changwen has seen through this desert, nothing is real, both negative and positive need to be killed.

"You're out of money! You're going to be hospitalized anyway, so you might as well give us the money!"

"Hahahaha!"

"My wife can take care of it for you, too!"

Yuan Changwen's heartbeat began to accelerate, and a cloud of anger burned in his heart.

These angers are divided into two parts, one is the anger that arises from hearing these words, and the other is the anger towards the "self" that arises because of these angers.

If you don't know what the definition of self-weaving is, you have already quarreled with others at this time.

A few words can arouse anger, and that's how I'm being led!

Money, or money.

And my wife, how can I tolerate others taking care of me?!

Why can't it be tolerated?

This sentence is like an ice bucket challenge, instantly extinguishing all anger.

yes, why can't it be tolerated?

Don't lift the table, don't slap your ass and leave, don't be dismissive, just say it if you have the ability!

Why can't it be tolerated?