Chapter 63: Loneliness and Reflection
Vangelis was walking on the mountain road to the Huide cemetery. The wind was a little strong tonight, and the tips of his hair fluttered in the air with the summer breeze.
He was supposed to go to the Good Night Pavilion tonight to attend the banquet, but he temporarily decided to let the Holy Maiden Loviel attend on his behalf on behalf of the Holy See of Light. Since he succeeded to the archbishop, he has gone to the royal banquet every year on the Flower Society Festival, firstly, because the new officials have taken office and need to make more friends with powerful people, and secondly, to stabilize the position of the Holy See in Lan'er. Today, it is time for the "newcomer" of the Holy Maiden to attend, and it has been a long time since he has had a quiet flower festival alone.
He thought about it a lot tonight, remembering the first time he met Sainz, the first time he met Nasha, the time he spent at Santias Academy, and the busy days running around the continent...... Time always slips away easily, and there are some things that you can't keep if you want to. Now that he is approaching middle age, he has seen many things and let go, but he still misses and is reluctant to give up on his teacher. The old man, like his father, is now buried in the cold cemetery on the mountain, and he who was once respected by the world is now just a handful of loess, and he is about to be gradually forgotten. On a sentimental night like today, he just wanted to be with him at the grave.
Van Gellis walked along the mountain road to the cemetery, and saw a young man standing in front of Sainz's grave in the distance. He was a little puzzled, today is the Flower Society Festival, the singing and dancing in the capital is leveling, all kinds of lively, it stands to reason that everyone should spend the festival in the city, even if it is worship, no one will take advantage of the night to come, this is unreasonable.
The boy apparently noticed his approach, but did not move, and still stood silently in front of the grave, his chin bowed and his hair hanging down, only when his hair was blown up by the wind, half of his face faintly exposed, which made it impossible to see it really.
Vangelis walked up to him, looking at the orchid canola flowers, damme tea and bean paste cakes placed in front of the tomb, he knew in his heart that it seemed that this young man had indeed come to worship, but it was a little puzzling that he had come at this time.
"Mr. Vangellis?" asked Zero.
"It's me," Vangellis replied, "and you're coming to worship so late, aren't you celebrating the holidays with your family and friends?"
Zero looked at Vangellis with a slight side face, the wind blew away the dark clouds, under the bright moonlight, Zero saw his face clearly, he was wearing a civilian dress, his appearance had not changed much, he was still a humble gentleman, not smiling, but there were many vicissitudes of life, his beard was not trimmed diligently, and the whole person looked a little more lazy than before, it seems that it has not been easy to be an archbishop in recent years.
"I only have to come to worship today, Lan'er Capital City is prosperous every day, and it is really crowded during the day, the reason why I came here tonight is just that I don't want too many people to disturb me, forgive ......me," Zero said.
"Did I disturb you?" asked Vangelis modestly.
"I guess I'm bothering you," Zero replied, "You must have chosen to come tonight to be alone with your mentor, sorry, I'm leaving." β
After Zero finished speaking, he turned sideways and was about to leave, but Vangellis persuaded him: "No need to do this, I won't be so unreasonable, everyone is here to worship, you and I are gathered here because of respect for the dead, don't avoid it so much." β
It was only then that Vangellis could see the young man's face, with his short, soft, slightly fluffy hair, and most striking were his silver-gray eyes, which seemed to shine with a clear light in the gloomy night. This color was rare on the mainland, and the last time Vangelis remembered seeing such bright and clear eyes was five years ago, when the somewhat precocious and melancholy child had the same eyes as him.
"It seems that Archbishop Vangelis is not as serious and rigid as the rumors suggest. With a faint smile on his face, Zero turned to stand facing the tombstone.
"What's your name?" asked Vangellis.
"My name is ...... Zero. Zero replied, "Don't be confused, I'm an orphan with no last name." β
"I see," said Vangellis, nodding slightly, "Actually, I am also an orphan, with no name and no family, and it was Mr. Sainz who adopted me, and he is like my father." β
"I've heard of it for a long time. Zero nodded.
The two fell silent, and the sound of the wind blowing in the mountains and forests in their ears was heard, as well as the faint sound of jubilation and noise in the capital not far away. The wind blew the ends of their hair and clothes, and they stood quietly in front of the tombstones, enjoying the few tranquilitys in this bustling capital.
After a while, Vangellis opened his mouth and said to Zero, "You remind me of an old man, and your eyes are very similar to his. β
Zero squinted his eyes at Vangellis, he pulled the corners of his mouth into a faint smile, and said, "That's an honor......"
"My teacher died trying to save him...... Vangelis whispered as he looked at the tombstone in front of him.
Zero was silent for a moment before asking him, "You hate him?"
"Not really. Vangellis shook his head and said.
"If it weren't for him, Mr. Sainz would still be alive today. Zero turned his gaze to the tombstone in front of him, and he said it lightly, as if he were a stranger.
"If you are any person, the teacher will give his life to save, this is his consistent style, and saving the lives of others is a sacred and great thing, I am proud of my teacher. Vangellis said, with determination in his eyes.
Zero didn't speak, he stood in front of the tombstone, quietly listening to what Vangellis had to say.
"The child who was rescued by the teacher is also the son of an old friend of mine, since the teacher's death, I have seen him as a continuation of the teacher's life, and I am not the only one, many people see him that way, maybe it is because everyone looks at him with this special eye, he will ...... It can feel stressful...... But he's really special, and I think he's great relative to other kids. Vangellis stood where he was, talking.
"Excellent?" asked Zero as he glanced at Vangellis.
"Yes, it's outstanding, he's really good compared to other kids, no, it's not just kids, he's better than a lot of adults, at least that's what I think. Vangelis said.
"Then he must be happy about it. Zero said flatly, with no superfluous expression on his face.
"It's a pity...... And then he died......" Vangelis sighed, "but he is still a very good man in my eyes, he has always longed for freedom, he has always wanted to break the cage around him, and then he really took that step, even if he paid with his life...... But I don't think he failed, he succeeded a lot more than most of the other people who just talk the talk and don't do it. His body did die, but his soul was free, and he did it, and he did it that most of us wouldn't dare to do, so I think he succeeded. β
"That's ......" Zero lowered his head slightly and said softly, "Then he will be very happy to hear your comments." β
Vangelis glanced at Zero, then turned his face away and sighed: "But the teacher's life has come to an end here......
"Everyone is waiting for him to grow up, in fact, he has grown up, but the people around him don't understand him, I can see the loneliness in his heart, and the kind of unwillingness from the heart, I can see it, but I can't help him......"
Vangelis looked into the distance in distraction, and he suddenly remembered the scene of that day, when Jeno stood trembling against the wall with his mouth full of blood, when his face was badly injured, and his whole body looked like he was going to fall at any moment, but his eyes were as firm as a mountain.
"In my life, I absolutely ...... Absolutely, I will never let anyone else dictate my mind again!"
He still remembers the child's immature but resolute voice, but that perseverance can no longer be seen.
"What is he like to you?" asked Zero.
Vangelis glanced at him, then looked up, looked at the night sky above him and muttered, "He's me...... The last friend. β
Zero didn't speak again, and Vangellis didn't speak, and the two of them stood in silence in front of the tomb for a long time, letting the summer breeze blow beside them, taking their thoughts into the distance.
After a long time, Zero turned to Vangelis and said, "I should go, I wish you a good rest of your life, Mr. Vangelis, and we will meet again." β
With that, he bowed deeply to Vangellis, then turned around and walked down the hill.
Vangellis looked sideways at Zero, who was walking down the hill alone, his back looking bleak and lonely in the evening breeze, but his steps were steady and he was determined to move forward.
When Zero returned to the troupe, it was already late, and everyone was busy preparing to call it a day and rest, and as soon as Zero walked into the tent, he saw Lan Ya and them walking towards him.
Yuri looked at Zero worriedly and asked, "Where have you be......en?"
"Didn't you have a high fever, why didn't you get a good rest and ran out alone?" Lan Ya asked with a frown.
"I went out and bought some medicine. Zero shook the bag in his hand at a few people, which contained some commonly used medicines, which Zero had just bought at the pharmacy to spare.
"Whew...... Then you should say hello too. Lan Ya touched her chest and sneered.
"Fortunately, you are back, and the head of the regiment said that if you don't come back after finishing work, he will send someone to look for you on the street. Drow said to Zero with a smile.
Zero smiled faintly and said, "The bowl of medicine that Yuli gave me worked very well, I fell asleep after drinking it, the fever subsided, and I sweated a lot, and then I couldn't sleep so I got up and went to the pharmacy to buy some spare medicine." β
"Your fever has been cured?" Yuli asked Xiang Zero, "It's better to rest early tonight, your illness is cured, and the head of the troupe definitely hopes that you will continue to perform on stage, and you must recuperate your spirits." β
Zero nodded, didn't talk to any more people, and walked straight to the side.
Lesenducci had been busy all day, and now he was just free, and he sat on the long wooden box on the side, watching the crowd that had been cleaned up one after another, silently smoking a cigarette and exhaling puffs of smoke.
Lesendage noticed Zero walking towards him, and looked at him with some confusion on his face. Zero walked up to him and stood still, looked at Lesendage with a forced smile on his face, and said to him, "Commander, give me a cigarette to smoke." β
Lesendage raised an eyebrow and gave him a strange look, then took out a box of cigarettes from his trouser pocket and handed him a lighter, and said to him: "If you don't want to laugh, don't laugh, it's so ugly, people who don't know think I'm arranging some kind of heavy work for you." β
Zero pursed his lips, took a cigarette from the cigarette case and put it to his mouth, lit it with a lighter, handed it back, and then tilted his head back and took a deep breath.
"Ahem, cough, cough ......" Zero coughed frantically, the smoke choked his throat and eyes, he felt that his mouth was full of bitterness, his red eyes were closed, and tears were about to flow out.
"Oh good, I don't know how to smoke and I still learn to smoke, are you choking?" Sit down and ...... slowly," Lesenducci patted the empty seat next to him and said to Zero.
Zero coughed and patted his chest as he sat down next to Lesendage. Lesendage looked at Zero Cough's bitter appearance and reached out to help him pat him on the back.
"It's okay...... it's okay," Zero said, waving his hand.
I actually smoked in my life, and I started smoking at the age of seventeen or eighteen, when my life was stressful, I had no family and no money, so I liked to comfort myself with tobacco and alcohol. Today was the first time in his life that he had smoked, and it was clear that his throat could not accept the sudden smoke.
Zero slowed down for a while and felt much better, then handed the cigarette between his fingers to his mouth, took a careful puff, coughed twice, and spit out all the cigarettes in his mouth.
"If you don't know how to smoke, don't smoke, what do you learn to smoke at a young age, do you think cigarettes are a good thing?" Lesendage glanced at Zero, a cigarette in his mouth, and spat out green smoke from his mouth as he spoke.
Zero glanced at Lesendage with red eyes, did not speak, still handed the cigarette to his mouth, and spit out all the cigarette after taking a puff, completely out of his lungs.
"It's a waste to smoke cigarettes......," Lesendage gave him a blank look, "aren't you sick?
"When my fever went away, I went out and bought some medicine. Zero replied with a frown.
Lesenducci nodded without asking more, looking at the busy scene in front of him, smoking silently, and Zero also sat on the side and smoked silently. After a while, Zero suddenly asked him, "Commander, what do you think life is?"
Lesendage glanced at Zero and grinned, "You kid is here to live with me? What's the matter? You went out and got hit? Actually, I heard Lan Ya talk about you going out shopping on the day you first came to Lan'er City, what's the matter? What strange things happened again?"
"It's nothing......" Zero licked his dry lips, he looked at the top of the tent high above his head, "I just want to ask you for advice, are you an elder......"
Lesenducci took a deep puff of his cigarette, and after pouring it out, he looked ahead and said, "You ask me...... For me, life is all about making money, and of course, I also have a goal, which is to build our Dinas into the top amusement troupe on the mainland, but in the final analysis, it is also to make more money. β
"Make money?" Zero turned his face to look at Lesendage's battered side face, "Make money...... And for what?"
"For my precious daughter, of course. Lesendage glanced at Zero. Obviously, he felt that Zero's question was pointless.
Zero turned his face away, looked down at the ground and pondered. Lesenducci sat aside and continued: "Lanya was born with a difficult birth, and her mother died in order to give birth to her...... I didn't have the best life for my wife at that time, so I want to earn a lot of money now to help my baby daughter find a good man, and then let her live a stable life without having to wander around like me for the rest of her life...... Don't people just want to find a home in this life?"
"Destination ......" Zero muttered these two words.
"Of course, this is just the life of ordinary little people, and everyone yearns for a different life. "If you say that those powerful and rich children are born rich, then their pursuits must be different from those of us." There are also those powerful warriors and magicians, who have great abilities, and even those who can cultivate to the supreme strength of the Sword Saint Dharma Venerable, and what they pursue is different from ordinary people......"
"But I think that since everyone has to live, it is indispensable to have children and support their families, no matter how powerful people are, they have to reproduce, right? Of course, there are also those peerless powerhouses who don't have this plan, and we won't mention them...... People, no matter how frivolous and rebellious you are when you are young, you must eventually find your own home, otherwise this life will be in vain. After speaking, Lesendage threw the cigarette butt in his mouth and stepped on it, took out a cigarette from the cigarette case and lit it, and continued to swallow the clouds and exhale the smoke.
"Don't think too much, young man, you have time to think about it. Lesendech patted Zero on the shoulder and said, "I have told you so much, it is only my personal opinion, life still depends on your own understanding, maybe another person to tell you, that is another set of words, but there is a sentence you have to remember ......"
Zero looked at Lessenage, and Lesendage looked at Zero.
"No matter when and where, never give up the heart of pursuing freedom. Lesendage said as he stared earnestly into Zero's eyes.
Zero heard this, as if he was drenched in a bucket of ice water on a hot summer day, he looked at the persistent and determined look in Lesendage's cloudy eyes, Zero suddenly felt that he didn't seem to know much about this regiment commander before, he had always thought that the other party was a businessman who only wanted to make money, but Zero now felt that he was also a man who yearned for freedom, and the reason why he was thinking about making money was because he had a family and his own unshirkable responsibility, and he loved this responsibility, so he was willing to work hard to make money for this, but his heart yearning for freedom was always beating in his chestγ
Who knew that Lesendage suddenly laughed in the next second, he hooked the corners of his mouth and showed the "ruffian" smile in the past, with a cigarette in his mouth, he lifted the cowboy hat on his head and put on a chic posture and said to Zero: "It's very connotative, right? It was Lanya's mother who told me, and at that time she just said this sentence and conquered me, you really don't know how charming she was when she said this to me." I was just a poor boy at the time, she looked at me seriously and said this, and then despite the dissuasion of relatives and friends, she resolutely followed me to organize an amusement troupe, it was my happiest day, I ......"
Suddenly, several people carrying the box not far away did not hold it steadily, and the box fell to the ground, and the contents were scattered on the ground. Lesendage immediately noticed the movement, and quickly stood up and walked there, shouting as he went: "Why are you so careless?! Do you drop your rice bowl on the ground when you eat?"
Zero sat silently, he raised his hand and took a puff of the cigarette, exhaled a long puff of green smoke, and then frowned and coughed lightly. He looked at the busy crowd in front of him and fell into deep thought.