Yuan Changwen didn't get up to call his wife back, if he was in the past, even if he felt uncomfortable, even if he was unwilling, he would get his wife home first.

You can make any noise at home, but if you go outside, it will be even more embarrassing.

"The point is, how did this idea get into my head?"

Am I not ashamed?

"But how can I control other people's thoughts?"

Yuan Changwen sat on the sofa and unconsciously became reclining, as if this posture was very suitable for thinking.

For so many years, everything you have done has been for the eyes of others?

I want others to praise me, I want others to envy me, I want others to praise me, "Wow, look, it's Yuan Changwen! How is he...... It's amazing......"

Is that so?

I define in my mind, "If I do this, then others should have some kind of reaction", and if I don't, I will feel uncomfortable, angry, angry and complain.

Who put this definition in my head?

Is it a social convention? The so-called adult world, the so-called behavior and behavior? Everyone is like this, so I must do the same?

Yuan Changwen muttered, "Is this a human being? What exactly is a human being?"

Pick up your mobile phone and go online to find out what a person is.

The resulting search results, millions of them, are explained from the biological aspect, from the social aspect, and from the philosophical aspect.

But none of them are what Yuan Changwen wants, those results are very reasonable, but they are nothing more than describing people, and they do not explain what people are.

Just like the "apple", this fruit can be described as a fruit, edible, origin, growth cycle, shape and taste.

But none of this explains what an apple is.

Ding dong!

A message push: "Reborn in the world of Xianxia, if you go by, you will become an adult, and if you go against the odds, you will become an immortal, see how the waste wood changes its life against the sky......"

Yuan Changwen ignored the push, his favorite Xianxia in the past, but now he can't arouse any interest at all.

The question is, what is real?

In other words, what is the truth that you can confirm?

For so many years, studying, living, and working, I have never thought about whether it is true or not.

When I was a student, I did homework and thought about mathematics, physics, biochemistry.

When I was in college, I began to think about the future and employment after graduation.

When it comes to work, think about how to get work done, how to be lazy, and how to rest after work.

It seems that everything is pulling one's own mind, and they are struggling to direct the attention of their minds.

Just don't let yourself think about what these are doing!

Yuan Changwen suddenly found that he really never considered the authenticity of all this, maybe he thought about it when he was a child, maybe he asked his parents when he was a child. But when I became an adult, I didn't think about it, and even if I did, it didn't take more than a minute.

Right!

There's a demon that's how it manipulates my mind, and it wants to keep me from seeing through the truth.

It's cunning, and it wants me to follow the crowd, because everybody is like that, so should I.

Not only that, but even if I don't follow the crowd, even if I'm a maverick, it's under the minions of the devil.

Because, I didn't think about the reality of all this!

Others work, I travel around the world, and I use the most beautiful youth to travel to the most beautiful places.

Is this an escape from the demons?

No. It's just saying, "Come and see, see how good I am, I don't have to work." Look at you, you're so bad, come and envy me!"

Self!

These are the "self", which is the definition that oneself weaves for oneself, like countless other definitions.

It is even possible that it is a definition woven by others, and I don't know when I put it in my own head.

That is, the "ego" is false?

Yuan Changwen shuddered suddenly, if the "self" is false, then for so many years, he has been weaving himself constantly, all of which are false?

However, going to work, working, earning money, eating, buying a house, getting married, etc., these are all so real, why are they false?

I go to work, and I don't go to work. This "me" has not changed, and going to work is nothing more than an addition.

If I don't go to work, I, Yuan Changwen, am still Yuan Changwen, and there is no change. But why, once I don't have a job, I don't work for a long time, everyone looks down on me?

Do they identify with my job, or am I who I am? Or is it the premise that these people have friendships that have some additional definition?

For example, a person with a high-income job, a person with a good character, and a person with good family conditions.

But these are all external conditions, and they are all attached, why do we pay more attention to this?

"That's what society is. ”

In Yuan Changwen's mind, this sentence suddenly popped up. This is a few buddies drinking at night and spitting out the depressed words in their hearts.

So, is all this still a social convention? Everyone is like this, so I have to do it, otherwise I will be abandoned by everyone.

"Why don't you fit in at all!"

Yuan Changwen suddenly remembered the teachings his mother gave him when he was a child, teaching him how to play with children, instead of watching ants alone.

It seems that it is a great sadness not to blend in with the crowd.

Really?

Why should I be gregarious? Why should I make friends?

Who is telling that a person must have friends? Who is saying that life without friends is miserable?

Even if someone really pokes me in the back, even if someone really scolds me. I can't hear because I don't have friends, so how can I know if people are saying bad things about me?

In this case, what is the difference between the so-called bad words and the black hole in the distant starry sky?

Obviously, the black hole is a devastating existence, but because it is too far away, everyone doesn't care at all.

Yuan Changwen thought of other life events, work is the same, then everything else is the same, all are self-definition.

I am a man with a job, a married man, a dashing man with a mistress, and a new father with a baby......

But all of this is additional, and it has been woven by myself for so many years. In other words, these things are not real, I can add these, and I can add those.

If it's not real, why should I hold them to death?

It's as if I left them behind and I'd be dead!

Yuan Changwen thought carefully about the results of putting aside these definitions, and found that it was indeed like death. In this society, there will no longer be a place for oneself, and oneself will be dispensable.

Since you don't have a job, you may pick up garbage, you don't have a marriage, you don't have a house to live in, and everything that can be found in society has nothing to do with you.

Yuan Changwen found that life events such as work and marriage are not only valued by others, but also valued by himself.

Because when I imagine that I put aside those definitions, I am so full of fear that just thinking about it makes people tremble.

"You have to think about the future. ”

In Yuan Changwen's mind, he once again thought of his mother's previous teachings, and kept telling himself to work hard now and plan for the future.

Only, when is the future?

Ten years, twenty years, or retirement?

Or, I have to work hard all my life until ...... Die?!

What have you been doing for decades of your life?

What is the meaning of life?

Yuan Changwen suddenly felt that his head hurt, and like a drowning person, he desperately wanted to grab something.

There is no sense of belonging.

After understanding that these pursuits were attached, Yuan Changwen lost his sense of belonging, and the whole society seemed to have no place.

Everyone is pursuing these, if you don't pursue them, how can you fit in?

Even if Yuan Changwen wants to pursue it now, it will be too late.

Because we already know the essence of these pursuits, where can we still raise the energy to pursue them well?

Work is added, marriage is added, everything is added.

Well, there's always something that can be added.

You need a background to add it!

In this way, "my" work, "my" marriage, this "me" is the background.

Yuan Changwen was confused again, who am I?