The green tendons on the back of the hand holding the mouse burst out, and the bone joints were faintly white.

The left button rattled at the man's exertion, then disappeared.

Xu Fang stared at the string of dates fixedly, and he didn't know how long it was, and he took a deep breath.

Fingers are released, the buffer bar loads the page at a very fast speed, and Xu Fang looks over, and the body of the email is a picture.

The paper on which the photograph was taken has yellowed.

It reads.

'God x desktop, after the end of this trip, go back to Shanghai to buy, to Xiaofang. ’

'There are 25 days left until Xiaofang's birthday. ’

The words are written with a fountain pen, the last stroke of the first line of the word has a very thick black ink dot, and the oblique top is the sand mark drawn by the hand after rubbing the ink dots, Xu Fang can even imagine that when the person who wrote the second line of words, the fingertips of the little thumb rubbed the black ink dots, and the ink dots were attached to the small fingerprint road.

Signature at bottom right, June 22, 2002.

He habitually touched his trouser pocket, which was empty, and slowly got up, and hit the chair with a bang.

With a dense sense of anxiety in his heart, he grabbed his hair violently, found a box of cigarettes in a drawer, opened the package, took out a lighter, lit the flame with a clatter, and lit the cigarette.

He propped up the stool and sat on it, leaning back with a sturdy body, his eyes fixed on the photograph.

If someone were to be by his side and pay attention to his hands, they would see that the hands that were pinching their eyes were trembling slightly, and the roots of their eyelashes were wet from staring at something too intently.

After a long time, he exhaled the last puff of smoke and finally stopped looking at the picture, but looked up at the ceiling.

Sorting out his emotions, he jerked up, turned off his computer, and left the room.

The paper was torn from a page of the diary and was written by his father.

On June 22, 2002, my father prepared to perform in Jiaxing with the Guohai Yue Opera Troupe.

His father was a well-known male dan, who was extremely popular and respected at the time.

At that time, he was only 13 years old, and he happily followed his father out of the province, and the eyes and brains of the children who went away for the first time were full of novelty.

But on June 23, the day when my father was supposed to perform on stage, my father's body was indeed cold on the stage.

The old stage, the long white silk, Xu Chengbin hanged himself on the white silk.

The newspaper reported that Xu Chengbin chose to end his life on the stage because he could not bear the verbal insults.

Xu Fang will never forget that day, he stood under the stage, his eyes widened in disbelief because of horror, and the mother behind him, her hand trembling covered his eyes, her voice choked, intermittent, "Xiaofang, don't look, don't look." ”

Recalling this, the breath that he couldn't hold seemed to have solidified into an entity, and he was held in the palm of his hand, and he took a deep breath and suppressed all his emotions.

He remembered that his father had always had the habit of keeping a diary, and he was very sure that the handwriting on the paper was indeed his father's, and that when he was a child, his father often asked him to copy the lyrics, and the version he copied was not a book or a script, but a copy of the drama by his father.

My father's handwriting has long been engraved into his blood, and he will never forget it.

This email made Xu Fang suddenly have questions about his father's death.

He remembered a popular game called StarCraft in 02, and he liked it very much, but he didn't have a computer at home, so he could only go to the same school every time to have a good time, so he asked his father to buy it for him.

Xu Fang closed his eyes, how could a father who decided to buy a computer for his children after returning to Shanghai that day, commit suicide that night?

In the blink of an eye, Xu Fang had already come to the back room, and the carved wooden door in front of him was closed, and the candlelight inside was dark, and there were more shadows.

Raised his hand and knocked on the door three times, and after a while, there was a noise inside.

It was the sound of a woman walking, very light and broken, and then the door creaked open, Zhang Liping stood in front of the door and saw Xu Fang.

"Small. Overjoyed, Zhang Liping was very happy in her heart, Xu Fang always didn't come to her, and it was more difficult to see him once than to ascend to the sky.

"Come in, come in. Zhang Liping hurriedly opened the door to welcome Xu Fang in, and as Xu Fang stepped into the house, the wooden door was also closed by Zhang Liping's hand.

"Do you want something to drink? tea or juice?" she was busy, "Someone came to see your master a while ago and brought two cartons of milk, do you want to ......?"

"Mom. Xu let out a sound, Zhang Liping was stunned for a moment, her whole person turned her back to Xu Fang, and when she heard the words, her eyes turned red at a speed visible to the naked eye, and her nose was very sore.

How long has it been since she heard this mother? Since she married Li Yiyi? Or before that? Zhang Liping can't remember.

She turned around, and the woman she had seen in the wind and waves on weekdays looked even a little cramped at the moment.

"You don't have to be busy, I'll leave later. Then he said, "I went over the other day on my father's death day. ”

The room was quiet, except for the sound of the wicks of the candles.

"It looks pretty empty, I always feel bad in my heart, I seem to remember that he has a lot of manuscripts, do you remember where they are?"

After Xu Fang finished speaking, the dim candlelight flickered on his handsome face, leaving a brief shadow.

Zhang Liping took a deep breath, and her heart seemed to be very uncalm when she heard the voice.

"Burned, burned. ”

She slowly pressed the armrest of the chair and sat down, her eyes trembled terribly, she covered her eyes with her hands for a while, and gasped, "Xiaofang, tell me, are you still complaining about me?"

If it weren't for complaining, how could Xu Chengbin be mentioned at this time.

The 22nd of last month was Xu Chengbin's death day, and Xu Fang went every year, but she never went once.

She finally couldn't help it, tears overflowed from the corners of her eyes, and she wiped her bare hands twice and still didn't stop the tears from sliding down, dripping down the side of her face to the front placket.

"Your father is ruthless, his wife and father don't want to think about it, so he just let go. Zhang Liping sniffed, her voice choked, "I hate him, I can't untie this knot in my heart." ”

"I hate him, knowing that my child will come to see the show, and he is still on the stage......" Zhang Liping seemed to be poked by the scene in the past, she hugged her arms with both hands, and her face lost its blood.

For the first time in so many years, Xu Fang heard complaints about his father from his mother.

In the eyes of his mother, no matter why his father committed suicide, it was irresponsible to his wife and children and father, when he was still young, his mother was still young, and the head of the family fell, and the damage caused to the hearts of the two was indelible.

After his father's death, he complained, he was annoyed, he hated those executioners who pointed fingers at others in the shadows, and hated those poisonous people who knew that others had not done anything to you, but they were so poisonous that they wished that others would die before they stopped.

Because of their words and deeds, they took his father's life.