It was so uncomfortable, and a feeling of suffocation came to my face. But it's not particularly intense, but this faint sadness seems to be able to overpower other emotions.

At this time, even fear does not dare to appear.

Hate is fear!

No one cares who I am, in their eyes, the so-called Yuan Changwen is a spiritual master, and then the first person in the empire, who has experienced a lot of things and has a lot of insights.

Is this me? or is it my name and story?!

And in my eyes, the so-called others are also just these things.

Shit!

For so many years, what I care about evaluating is these character attributes. Talking to others and enjoying the superficial worship of everyone. Is this what you want? Or are these what you want by definition?

Unfortunately, self-definition is not satisfied, more and more. As he walked, he discovered the falsity of his self-definition, and then turned around and began a difficult suicide mission.

The so-called life is to get married, have children, support the elderly, and raise children. Who is qualified to say that? Who is qualified to force everybody to do this?

I clung to certain self-definitions and struggled with them, never thinking that it was all just a drive for fear.

So, what about now?

How do I know I'm making great strides towards authenticity?

What if all this is not over at all, if the so-called killing is completely endless, what if you ruin your life like this?

Then die......

Anyway, it's all fake, what's the point of being alive?

If that thing needs me, needs a chess piece, I'm happy to help. Of course, this is all speculation, how can I possibly know if it has an effect?

Even those practices, how do I know that they work? Just because everyone says they work, so they work? Just because everyone worships them as scriptures, so there is no doubt that they are effective?

Then everyone still says that you should pursue money!

This feeling...... Yuan Changwen was a little weak, and his thoughts were discouraged, as if he couldn't lift his energy for anything. A mixture of absurdity and disgust that haunts me all the time.

There is nothing to do and nothing to pursue.

It's all roles, Lao Tzu quits and won't do anything for this role anymore. At this moment, I'm going to strip the role, take off the costume, and kill the self-definition.

It's all said, let this character die, why don't you die yet?

If you don't die, I want to die.

Why do you want to stop me from seeing the world?! Do you really think I'm an idiot? Don't I know what the world really is?

Well, I really don't know.

But I know that my vision of the world has been completely distorted by you. All kinds of self-definitions, all kinds of scientific theories, all kinds of labeled information, these are all things that prevent me from seeing the world.

In the past, I thought that by studying hard, I would be able to learn more and understand more about the world.

Shit!

If I were to go back to when I was a kid, the school teacher would definitely be beaten to death by me. Our empire, our schools, are teaching these things?

Why didn't anyone make me think about the question of "who am I?" so important?

It's as if there is nothing to think about in life, all the results have been set, and you just need to move forward according to the settings of the empire.

Bah!

Even the clone is better than me, at least his future is unknown, and my future is in sight.

I never thought that I was no different from others. What is the first person in the empire, the troubled things seem to rise to the family level, but is there any essential difference in this?

If you change your position and change your clothes, you can call them two people?

Yuan Changwen looked at the guests in the café, it seemed to be exactly the same, but the clothes were different and the hairstyles were different. But on the inside, it's all the same. There is not even an inner at all, everything is given by society, and the behavior is driven by fear.

Perhaps, even the difference between two snowflakes is greater than the difference between two people.

The role of Yuan Changwen is an obstacle, die! Why don't you die!

So much useless knowledge in my mind prevents me from seeing the world and from appearing in a flash of inspiration. It is as if the act of not thinking is mentally retarded and idiot. But what can you think about?

Self-righteous and humble pride.

It's pathetic, and disgusting.

Yuan Changwen looked at the reflective mirror image of the glass counter, and was a little confused about his appearance for a while. Is this such a person, who has lived for so many years? Is it that he traveled everywhere and then won the crown of the first person in the empire?

Is he me?

Why didn't I feel anything at all, but a strong sense of strangeness?

Who are the guests here? Are they real people? Or are they a bunch of puppets controlled by self-definition? who are clamoring to work hard every day, only to be played by fear.

Anytime and anywhere, he is showing the autonomy of life, showing that he makes choices and struggles, but he doesn't even know who he is.

What could be funnier than that?

This is how I used to be a waste of time, and it seemed that I was busy every day, but I was busy to avoid fear.

Self-deception, "Look, I'm busy, there will be good results, and God will not fail me." ”

Or, "Look, I'm busy, it means I'm working hard, and although the current situation is not good, I have a good character." ”

Or, "See, I'm super busy, what else do you have to accuse me?"

Die, I don't even want to use an exclamation point, the role of Yuan Changwen is like a piece of in my eyes. Please die, I don't even want to waste my feelings on you.

The existence of the character is false. And I don't want to continue to make useless efforts for this falsehood. Falsehood is falsehood, and no amount of whitewashing can change this fact.

And, I've been whitewashing it for so many years, it's time to stop and see what the hell is going on.

If the character doesn't die, the whole life is a mass of fear. False characters are not qualified to control their lives, let alone occupy this position. Family, responsibility, money, as if it had to revolve around this center.

I'm just that aware, what's the use of talking so much?!

Self-definition is constantly shouting, getting my attention, wanting me to identify with it. Unable to agree, they forced me to admit its existence through confrontation or fear.

Self-esteem is such a thing, but it is indispensable for all hot-blooded teenagers.

But what exactly is self-esteem? What is this "self", and what kind of respect is this "respect"?

Giving up self-esteem for money seems like a sad thing. Tell me, where is the sorrow, and why is self-esteem more important than money?

Sacrificing self-esteem for money is like sacrificing B for A, what is there to promote and widely discuss? Isn't this a normal trade-off?

Explain that more value money than self-esteem. Others value self-esteem more than money. Excuse me, who is in a position to despise whom?

Self-esteem, passionate struggle, breaking injustice and challenging fate, it seems that this word can be involved. At the end of the day, it's just a strong self-definition.

If you don't have self-esteem, are you still human? Do you let others bully you and not fight back?

There are tens of thousands of answers to this question, why should I answer them? Why should I know what to do after that? Why should I care if I lose my self-esteem and will be killed?

All I know is that if my self-esteem gets in my way, then I have to kill it.

It's as simple as that, and nothing else is considered. Thinking about the rest, the so-called thinking before acting is nothing more than a distraction, nothing more than self-definition in survival.

Forward, further!