My name is Tan Qing, I am second in the family, I have an older brother above, a younger brother below, plus I am a girl, my parents have paid very little attention to me since I was a child, my mother will feel sorry for my younger brother, will praise my brother, only me, like a dog's tail grass, no one cares and no one asks, it seems that I can grow freely.

I have been studying very hard since I was a child, I hope to get the attention of my parents, whenever I get back the double hundred report card, my mother and father will smile at me, my mother will give me a share of the delicious food left for my younger brother, my brother also loves me very much, but I have always had troubles in my heart.

It's my clothes, there are three children in the family, only my father goes out to make money alone, and my mother does some odd jobs at home to make money.

My brother's clothes are small and I wear them, my brother's shoes are small, my mother washes them clean, and keeps them for me to wear, but I'm a girl, I don't want to wear them like boys every day, my brother's clothes are either blue or black, and when I wear them, they have been washed and white, they are all fat and big sportswear, plus my brother's broken sneakers.

I have been dressed like this since I was a child, my mother cut my boy's head, I am like a boy, I am especially envious of the girls in the class wearing beautiful clothes, all kinds of bright and beautiful colors, especially their flying skirts in summer, I always fantasize that one day I will wear these skirts, they must not be bad.

I told my mother several times that I didn't want to wear old clothes, but my mother was never willing to buy me a skirt and a red coat, even if it was the Chinese New Year, when it was my turn to make new clothes for me, my mother also chose gray and coffee These ugly colors, she has her own plans, and when I wear them younger, the clothes can be given to my younger brother.

I was sad, I was the only girl in the family, my mother thought of my brother and my brother, why never thought of me, in the class I was jealous of the girls in floral dresses, jealous of the shiny hairpins and red headbands on their heads, I was jealous of all their beautiful things.

Other girls' lives are colorful and colorful, only I am black, gray and blue, in addition to this, I had nothing in my life more than ten years ago, and the only thing I can get is my grades.

When I was in junior high school, my mother threw me a small vest made of white cotton, and when I had my first period, my mother just threw me a stack of toilet paper, as if the family was full of men, and my mother had long forgotten that I was a girl.

On the first day of school in the fall, my mother bought me a red coat, the first colorful dress in my life, but the girl behind me got a large piece of ink.

I was so heartbroken that I couldn't wear a beautiful dress, and finally I secretly took scissors and cut all her beautiful clothes into strips, and I was very happy to see her crying sadly, but she would never have guessed that I did it.

Because I have a good relationship with all my classmates, including this girl, I use my smile, my own caution and slight flattery, so that most of the classmates like me, and my grades are good, and the teacher also likes me. In the three years of high school, except for the fact that I didn't have particularly nice clothes, I actually lived a very comfortable life.

I was admitted to the best university, my parents praised me, my relatives and neighbors took me as an example to educate my children, and my mother finally gave me a lot of money, saying that I was poor and rich, and when I had a career in the future, don't forget my brother and brother.

But when I came to university, I realized that the world was so big, and I saw all kinds of beautiful clothes, shoes, bags, necklaces and earrings, and my heart suddenly burned up, and I wanted to have these things.

The consumption in Nanshi is very high, the money given by my mother can only allow me to live a simple life, I don't want to buy a pair of good-looking leather shoes, there is a girl in the class who is poorer than me named Mo Ruo, I feel a little better with her at the bottom, but there is a girl in the class who is particularly beautiful and dresses very beautifully, and there is a girl who is very rich in the family.

Seeing that they never worry about money and wearing fancy clothes, I went crazy with jealousy, I assassinated them several times without success, especially Tian Xiaonuan, she seemed to be able to see through my heart and see what kind of person I am.

I was introduced to a club job by my fellow countrymen, I was not used to being touched at first, but when I saw the money, I didn't think about anything, I could wear beautiful clothes after I had money, I worked in the clubhouse, I worked hard to make money, I used all the money to buy clothes, I wanted to make up for the gloomy life I had lived in the past ten years.

One day Boss Xiao came to me and offered a price of 10,000 to find a virgin, I couldn't help but be tempted by so much money, and I was deeply jealous of Fu Shanshan, so I thought of her, it was this incident that changed my life, and I was completely expelled from school.

My family didn't let me go back, and there was no place for me in the huge Nanshi, so I went to find a job, working eleven or twelve hours a day, tired and sore back every day, with a monthly salary of 800 yuan, if I was in the clubhouse, I could earn it in two or three days, and it was easy, and I didn't have to suffer.

I didn't want to endure hardship, I found a fellow countryman, went to another club, and started my old business, but within a few days, I was fired by the boss, I don't know why, the boss only let me go quickly.

I continued to look for a job, but I couldn't do the work too tiring, I couldn't work in all the high-end clubs for a few days, I would be fired by the boss for any reason, I don't know why, finally a boss was willing to tell me, he only said that I offended people, let me go quickly, no one dared to accept me.

I don't know until now, who did I offend? Who wants to fix me, I also suspected Tian Xiaonuan and Fu Shanshan, but they are long since they are not in my life, and they have never appeared, I think it is very likely that it was Brother Sheng at that time.

In desperation, I still chose to work, I became a clothing girl, the salary is not high, I am not so tired, and I can see beautiful clothes every day.

But I didn't even have to do this job for long, Boss Xiao found me, he looked at the vicissitudes of life, and his clothes were not as good as before, and he seemed to be very depressed.

When he found me, his eyes shot a hateful gaze, he led people to beat me hard, I don't know why, I only heard him screaming, you killed Lao Tzu, it is because of you, Lao Tzu can no longer mix.

My job was smashed again, I didn't dare to stay in Nanshi, I finally figured out that the person I offended was Tian Xiaonuan, or Fu Shanshan.

I was so remorseful that I left Nanshi.