Sometimes, if you look at it quietly, you will feel that many people are not happy. Pen ~ fun ~ pavilion www.biquge.info

There is unhappiness with a smile, there is unhappiness with a sad face, and there is unhappiness with a numb face......

When unhappiness strikes, some people will optimistically think about it, and some people will pessimistically take their unhappiness for granted.

I, on the other hand, am both optimistic and pessimistic.

A person's self-amusement is optimistic, a person's self-pity is pessimistic, and the two mentalities will be reversed from time to time to be the protagonist.

When I first went abroad, I had the support of my family and my willingness to grow, so even if many challenges were trying to defeat me, I could face them with optimism.

But as time goes by, my mind becomes more familiar with the work, and the challenges escalate, but I don't feel my own growth, I start to hesitate. At the same time, at this critical point, the negative energy of some people around me invaded my heart at an inopportune time. It's easy to think about holding back. That's not the point, the most important thing is that my family wants me to return to China, so much so that when I express my discomfort to them on the phone, the most obvious thing they mean to me is: Come back......

As a result, when I encounter some relatively big setbacks, it will be easy for me to run away from them. Because my family gave me too much of a way back, I couldn't break the boat at all.

It's like a story I read in the circle of friends, which probably means this: a child falls while walking, and then he cries, and when he cries, he finds that there is no one around, so he gets up and pats his ass and continues walking. Later, the child fell again while walking, and when he saw his family nearby, he cried and wanted his family to pick him up......

Sometimes, love can make people weak.

However, I was still holding on......

At work, it's not that there is no progress, but I don't feel that there is much progress. At the same time, I saw many people around me who wanted to quit their jobs or had already quit their jobs, which made my heart restless. And my family always asks me when I will return to China, and the expectation that I will return to China soon makes my heart even more uncertain......

If I had only come to Cambodia to save money, I might not have been able to make it up. Because, according to my ability to work at that time, the salary level was only half of the salary of my last job. In other words, the salary I received for two months of work in that country was only worth one month's salary for my last job. Moreover, the pressure far exceeded the pressure of my last job. Therefore, many colleagues who choose to resign in order to save money for a living have chosen to resign when their wages are not at the level they are satisfied with and they are under great pressure. But I'm still holding on......

What keeps me going is not whether the job prospects are good or not, because even if the job prospects are good, I will return to China after a year, and I may not still do this after returning to China. My concern has always been about the two words that I love and hate: growth.

Growth, two words that I can't measure by myself.

It's like a seed, you don't know when it's going to sprout......

Time goes on.

What kind of mood should we take to pick up the bits and pieces of life? happy, sad, relaxed, tired, lucky, helpless......

What color is the drip, is the mood the color? Or is it for example, the drips are black and the mood is colored? But this is not the right match. It's a bit like just buying a new phone that you've always dreamed of, but accidentally broke it before you even started playing, but the mood is dancing. Come to think of it, this picture is really a bit abnormal......

But I'm just abnormal, so why should I care about the normal angle?

Since entering 2016, I have felt tired. It's tiring. In the first month of the new year, I didn't feel much relaxed, and even the holidays were faintly stressed.

Healthily, eczema can recur from time to time. I went to the old urchin doctor to prescribe a few pills before, and I thought I wouldn't need it, but ......

The old naughty doctor said that those pills should be taken when the eczema attacked, and should not be taken if it is not itchy. Just five capsules, and one when it's itchy. Whew, just those five pills cost 30 yuan. As you can imagine, the power should be not small.

Yes, on the night of a certain eczema attack, I took one. Whew, sure enough, the effect is amazing! That night I slept so soundly that I didn't wake up until the alarm clock rang many times the next day. Then, I was faced with the situation of being half an hour late......

Not only that, but the whole day after taking the medicine, the whole person was mentally exhausted, so sleepy and sleepy. In addition, there was a lot of physical work at work that month, so the body and mind were completely unmotivated......

The first thing I felt when I returned to the dormitory after working overtime at night was that I wanted to sleep on the bed. However, the spiritual world has not yet been exported, and I feel so unfulfilled, so I force myself to draw or write. But, I began to understand. When a person is physically and mentally exhausted, it is difficult to do what he wants to do, because he cannot meet the requirements he wants, and his energy cannot be satisfied......

This tiredness is twice as tiring as my last job, even though I had a night shift in my last job.

A lot of times, it's okay to be tired, but you have to see the rewards to be motivated. My last job was tiring, but the rewards were worth it. And there, I can't face it with a rewarding heart, because then it's hard to retain the learning mentality. And once the learning mentality is broken, then I won't be there for long. Because from a reward point of view, it's not as rewarding as I was in my last job......

Of course, there are many angles, and you shouldn't just focus on returns. What makes it more meaningful is the impact it has had on my spiritual world.

To my relief, although I was very tired that month, I copied all the more than 200 poems I had written in the button space into a book, which I wanted to do a few years ago. Why did I have to copy them into a notebook? Because it gave me a sense of security, and a year and a half ago I accidentally locked another of my buttons, and the poems in them were no longer under my control. I think all the spiritual food in the buckle space is very illusory, and if you are not careful, it may be gone. Therefore, I transferred all that spiritual food to reality, and I can see wherever I want, and naturally, how good!

Now it's time to start sorting out what I've written, and again, that was what I did a few years ago.

I have read such a sentence on the buckle space: If you feel tired, it is because God is giving you a long vacation, and you should enjoy it.

Perhaps, this is similar to being tired and loving......

I picked up this drop, but I don't know what color it is. Is it gray, or is it black? or something else?

Whew, maybe it's not very important, what matters is my mood to pick up this little bit.

I feel that there will be a faint enjoyment of picking up the bits and pieces of life with a sunny white paper-like mood.

So, isn't it my optimism?

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