If you will die, then please lower the wings of death. If it will become someone else, then please take this filthy soul away in time. Even if you know astronomy and geography, you can't change the filth and distortion of your soul.

Those empty talks, the head is the truth, and with the statistics of graphs, it seems that the data can be used to prove everything.

My filthy soul, when is the way out?

When did the bird call become noise, and what was supposed to be a noise became a big hit in my head?

A touch of sunshine, a pinch of dirt, a rusty iron trail, these things that should be full of calm and poetry, but I ignored them. Even, seen, only seen.

The filthy soul obscured my vision, and the twists in my mind were cast into high walls that could easily hold me in. It's not that I'm not allowed to go out, it's that outside things aren't allowed to come in.

No one is holding me in, it's me who has a twist in my mind that I hold onto, it's me who adds to the thick walls. It's also me who has made my soul dirty.

If God really expelled humanity from the Garden of Eden, then this is the best punishment. Wandering in the mind of his own creation, trembling in fear, but unwilling to discard the distortion in his mind.

Emotional monsters are so powerful, those unpredictable light and shadow, those loving words, so sacrosanct family, are all just small means of monsters.

What can I do?

Killing? Obedience?

Neither, because I'm a monster myself.

The body is burning, the soul is crying, all this grief is asking for trouble. The high wall of thought, although false, is very beautiful and moving. As long as you don't think about it, you won't think there's anything wrong with that wall of thinking.

Because I can't see the walls at all, they show a colorful and beautiful world. I don't think of other people as just a product of my consciousness, I don't think that all perceptions are just "I think".

The sun is shining so brightly, but I am slowly rotting here.

How should such a heavy soul get on the road? The so-called ship of life crashed into the dock before it set sail.

One of the souls and bodies is on the way? Who is preaching this nonsense, and who is believing it? The soul that learns more is on the way? Those travels with a twist in the mind, which is also on the way?

If this is the way, then it is not the road to the Garden of Eden, but an effort to make a distance from it. Make the walls of thinking more beautiful, and make the attributes of the characters fuller. Whether it is elegant or intellectual, whether it is intelligent or shrewd, no matter how many people admire it, it is just a trick of the character.

The distortion in the mind, the one-sided determination, and the baseless affirmation are cross-dressing in fear. It makes me forget that I am afraid, makes me deny that it is all based on fear, makes me forget that I am really just a lamb driven away by fear.

Unhurried, relaxed, and fearless, these things are difficult to refute. But can this be done through hard work? Just as if you work hard to learn how to build a house, you can finally build a house, and strive to achieve "calm, relaxed, and fearless"?

There is no way to live "without fear", only to live with "no fear".

The distortion in my mind polluted my soul. The filthy soul is constantly strengthening the distortion in the brain. I always think that I can not be afraid of something, I always think that all this is because I lack something, but I never think about my own idea itself.

The gentle breeze caresses all things, but it can't take away the filth of the soul. Not even a trace of dust was blown away.

Only a fire can burn it all clean. Nothing is worth keeping, nothing will be kept, and all falsehood will disappear in the burning of the flame.

Including myself.

Is it a good deal? Does it make sense?

What is the character of Yuan Changwen?

Let the flames go a little crazier, burn my sanity, burn the so-called calm, and make me crazy. Every step is destruction, and the strong bonds of those loved ones will be reduced to powder with me, a madman.

Filthy souls don't need to be cleansed, just as distortions in the brain don't need to be sorted out, just burn them out. There's nothing worth keeping, a clean soul? maybe you can rebuild one after burning it.

Come on, let it all happen. The fears, the things that shouldn't have happened, all came into my soul. There will be no resistance, no rejection, let me jump into fear and see who dies first?

I discarded thinking, I couldn't analyze, I became stupid. Without a reminder of the downstream, I was at a loss at all. How can a stupid person live with a wise person? How can I talk to people about the so-called pros and cons that I can't even see?

The twist in my head was resisting, or rather, not resisting, just trying to hold me back. What's the point of waking up in a dream? No, it's all destroying meaning. A person who is full of expectations for even death will teach bad children?

When parents pin their hopes on their children, I can only behave like a rat crossing the street. It's better not to believe it, the distortion in the brain has a long history, and it is rich in the essence of traditional culture, so why destroy it?

Only people like me, the first person in the empire, inexplicably started the killing. Before that, I didn't even know what a slash was. I have always thought that I need to work hard to become a better version of myself.

Maybe it's knowledge, maybe it's mind, maybe it's insight, maybe it's body, maybe it's mentality.

Why should you consider yourself an enemy?

Unfortunately, I can't seem to tolerate the twist in my head, and my filthy soul makes me want to vomit. Whenever the twist in my mind is about to express something, there is always fear mixed in.

I'm rotting, I'm sinking, it's not something to be admired. However, I rejoiced at this, and greeted the arrival of rot with tears. I am ready to die, and the preciousness of life is not worth mentioning in my eyes.

Maybe, I'll still hold on to the character, maybe I'll not let myself die. After all, it's just a half-dream bubble, and if you grab it in vain, you will always want to let go. What's more, I'm already willing to let go. Even if the inertia of grasping allows the character to continue to live, it is only a delay.

Yuan Changwen fell in the depths of the lake, but his heart had already fallen to a deeper position. If people rely on their hearts to drive their bodies, then Yuan Changwen's heart has long been waiting in hell, pulling and resisting the body that resists entering hell and keeps falling.

Someday, it will end all this. Because that awareness is real, and even if a false thing is overbearing, it is just a false existence.

Or rather, it's just that I think the distortion in my head is real. ()

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