I don't have time to care about others, and I don't want to know what other people are going to do, or how the characters are composed. It seems that if I grasp the principles of character composition, I can understand others more clearly, and then have a greater advantage in the game.

Why do you always want to win?

Because it feels great to win, because the winner can be arrogant, because others will envy the winner and not care about the loser...... The reasons are always varied, but it's still just a personal preference, and it's still just a stage performance for the characters.

There is always an explanation lingering in my ears, whether it is true or not, I always have to survive in this society, so in order to survive better, there is no need to think about what is true or false.

Yes, even if the killing is completed, the role of Yuan Changwen still exists. Maybe something will change in the heart, but there can only be limitations in the limitations, and the role of Yuan Changwen must be used.

Think about it this way, killing is simply a money-losing deal, and whoever goes is stupid. So, while you're sober, while all this hasn't begun, don't kill at all. Or rather, slash as your own way of fleshing out your character.

Do I regret it?

Yuan Changwen thought about it carefully, and he didn't have that kind of emotion. Just like mountaineering, it will always be said that it is very tired, and it is always better to rest and play mahjong at the foot of the mountain or on the mountainside. But do you really regret the climb?

I don't regret the killing, and I don't regret anything. My life is perfect, everything is just right, nothing needs to change. However, it is better not to kill the officials.

Yuan Changwen wanted to tear himself apart and end this indescribable feeling of devouring. However, the thought of killing is spinning in my mind, why can't I kill it? If it is false, since it is not true, since it does not exist at all, then how can all this hinder the truth?

If there is nothing that hinders the real, then why doesn't the real appear? The infinite cannot appear within the limitations, so how can I step into the infinite? Or, how can the infinite wake up? How can I be in that position of awareness?

Is it to jump into a black hole that is engulfing?

The family is still there, and it is a sin not to be in touch, and it is not good to have less contact. You have to go home to see, you have to buy gifts, you have to chat with you, don't let your parents worry, think about your parents and your own family......

What the hell are these? What qualifications are there to be arrogant in my head, what reason is there to control me?

I kept shifting my attention and distracting myself to the point that I didn't kill at all. Whether it's fear or coolness, there is only one purpose, which is to keep me from killing.

Is it so difficult to destroy all this? Is it so powerful to protect strong emotions? Is it so reluctant to give up thinking and throw away the distortions in your mind?

When did I not have the final say in my life at all, but the distortion in my mind? I never found this kind of absurdity, as if all my life I thought that I was in control of my life, but in fact it was the distortion in my head that was in control.

One of the simplest tests, I want to turn off my brain, where is that button? Why can't I turn off my brain? Why can't I get rid of the distortion in my head? Because I'm not in control at all, it's none of my business.

Family is a hindrance, not in real life, but in my head. Ideas about family keep popping up, ideas about family keep popping up, and those "musts" are constantly pulling at me. Even if it's not a "must", it's just a distorted policy of softness in the mind.

I mistakenly thought that I was choosing, but I was being pulled at all. There's nothing to hold me back, there's nothing to pull me in, and discarding these things will speed up the slash. The more I resisted, the more I delayed the whole process of killing.

The whole slash was a victory for me, because it was me, those character attributes, and those characters' self-definitions. It was I who caught the shit, and when I let go, I lost but the whole slash was a victory.

I have to let go of my family, I have to abandon my family, and I can't let my family be arrogant in my head. If I want to end this quickly, then I can't resist slashing. As uncomfortable as it can be, it's the best thing to do.

Because I will be killed, and I will not allow my family to be arrogant in my head, whether I resist or not. Strong emotions protect all this, only I can let go, and only I can make the slash go more smoothly.

Nothing can hinder me, my family, my wife and children, my career, my life, and my worries...... I was like a mentally ill person, staggering down a deserted street, accompanied only by dim street lamps. He talks about slashing, listens to no persuasion, and ignores all morals.

Whoever stands in my way will be killed. If you can stop me, then you can be killed by me.

Explosion, what is blocking my explosion, is it my proud sanity? Obviously about to explode, obviously I feel an unbearable tearing feeling, why am I still so sane here?

I'm ready to accept it all, and whatever is coming, I'm ready for it. None of this is real, even if something happens?

The idea that something can't happen, the panic that makes my whole body tense when it happens, is just a means to pull me in a false way. It's all just happening in the heart, there's no way to prove it, it's all just "I think", it's just a possibility.

In order to be "possible", I just put my head down and work hard, and I just try my best to follow the distortion in my head?

I know that fear will keep coming, I know that worry will keep coming, I know that cool points will tempt from time to time, I know the truth of the black, I know what it means to kill myself.

You have to abandon your family, you have to kill your mother. Unreal is unreal, and there's no reason to pull on me there. Everything that tries to protect itself emotionally will be subject to the onslaught of my anger.

Without protection, giving up resistance will make the killing smooth and harmonious.

Yuan Changwen felt that this seemed to be the first time that he took the initiative to kill his family, and took the initiative not to continue to keep his family. There will always be such and such hesitation before, and there will always be various reasons to procrastinate yourself.

Although he kills those reasons, this kind of entanglement in various truths is a kind of procrastination in itself. A kind of procrastination caused by oneself will allow oneself to be killed on the same level of truth.

Directly discard the family, directly discard the distortion in the mind. My family is not qualified to be arrogant in my head and must be killed. Whether it is a hard-working mother, a kind grandmother, or a wife and children, they are not qualified to exist in the slightest.

Yes, without the slightest qualification.