I am a malnourished person. Pen, fun, pavilion www. biquge。 info both in reality and on a spiritual level......

The diet is uneven, either lacking this or that, those who should be fat are not fat, and those who want to be thin are not thin.

I was even more mentally malnourished, and if I didn't eat any spiritual food, my whole body would be listless......

Eat, in fact, I eat a lot, but it's a little picky. There's nothing to change about this, it's always been like this.

Spiritual food is a bit of an addiction to me. But it's also different, if you eat too much spiritual food, you will get tired.

When I was not abroad, I had to eat some spiritual food every day, read at least a few pages of books, or write things, or paint, or dance, or play the piano...... But after I went to Cambodia, I didn't have to read books, I couldn't draw and write, I didn't have a mood when I danced, and I didn't have a piano to play the piano...... So, I'm in a depressed mood.

Although the Dead Man's Day holiday has allowed me to go to many places to play, my happiness is not very much, and it is only instantaneous.

In fact, if you travel too much, you will get tired easily. There are many similarities between landscapes, but the difference is only some regional differences and humanistic characteristics.

If you watch too much, it will soon fade away......

Some people may think that it is very cool for me to go abroad, no, I personally think that falling in love is much happier than going abroad, and that feeling is incomparable. Of course, the best feeling is to travel abroad with the people you love. Whew, keep a fantasy for now, and see if there is a chance in the future.

At that time, I was tired of listening to songs, but even then, when I went to the toilet and bathed, or walked, I had to listen to songs. Because, my spiritual world was very lacking at that time......

In the days when the spiritual world lacked vitality, my heart was so tired.

I am tired, not because of the pressure of work, not because of poor interpersonal relationships, and not because of unsatisfactory living habits, but because I can't feel the pace of my growth.

I was so scared that I wouldn't see myself improving, and that would make me feel lonely. I was already very lonely, and I had to rely on my own growth to find a little happiness in it. If even growth betrays me, then I will easily fall into the abyss of depravity. Just like me in those depraved episodes before, I didn't feel the light of happiness, only the confusion and pain of darkness......

Fortunately, sometimes I ride the "big black" out for a ride and relieve myself, and my mood will be slightly better. Therefore, I can continue to write about it.

Happiness, maybe it's only temporary, I don't know how long I can last, but I'm trying to live.

Maybe one day I will fall into the abyss of depravity without realizing it, but I remember my motto was "Nothing is in vain"!

It's normal to be high or low, it's all evidence of being alive. The saddest thing is that I don't believe I'm alive.

Whether I'm happy or unhappy, as long as I'm alive, I'm responsible for my life.

You know, the right to write stories at every stage of life is in your own hands. If you want to write what it is, how to write it. Don't care too much about what others think, it has nothing to do with others, it's your own life.

I think my life is my own legend, so even if I'm in a bad mood, I have to write about my past, present and future.

I saw in a special notebook that if you don't know where you're going, the road will take you there.

I love that quote.

Actually, I didn't know where I was going at the time, I just followed the road and walked and walked there.

Why did you have to go a certain path in the first place, I really don't have much why, it just feels right......

Speaking of which, it seems that the topic of life direction is still inseparable. Confused, who's not confused in life?

I especially admire those who can be at ease with what they encounter, and they can live their own feelings no matter how they go in life. I wish I was that kind of person.

At the beginning, I didn't have much desire to go abroad, I still liked my little world, but because of a variety of unexpected factors and the unanimous support of my family, I went abroad.

After I got acquainted with it after I went abroad, I began to be glad that I had gone abroad, and I had seen a lot more people and people, which made me feel that I could survive in a foreign country and find some "hearts" that I wanted to find.

It was a path I had never planned, and I just walked it like that. I don't know if it's good or bad......

Later, one day, my second sister may find someone to count my eight characters, saying that I don't have peach blossoms abroad. If I go back to China, I will have a girlfriend in 2016. In addition, my uncle and aunt miss me, so she wants me to return to China, and that time is considered to be tourism.

Actually, I was very angry when I first saw that message from her. However, she also cared about me and took into account the feelings of my uncle and aunt, but I couldn't accept it......

There is a feeling of giving up halfway, and I hate giving up halfway when I go on a small trip, usually "I don't give up until I reach the Yellow River".

When I don't really want to go abroad, I always say go out, don't be afraid! Okay, when I really go abroad and get used to it, there will be no big problem. Then he suddenly said to me, I was wrong before, you better come back......

It's like slashing me and telling me to have fun. In the process of playing, the blood on the wound coagulated, and slowly there was no pain. Okay, and then he told me to come over and cut another cut on my wound, and said it would be fine soon. That's what it feels like......

Don't ask me if I'm happy, it has nothing to do with whether I'm in the country or not. This is my own problem, my heart is not well adjusted, it is the same everywhere.

After that, I talked to my aunt on the phone, and she actually asked me if I was happy at work, and if I was not happy, I would go back to China. Obviously, the second sister is very likely to tell the aunt the result of the fortune telling. This, what a painful stress......

Grandma wanted me to have a girlfriend and wanted me to get married early, so my aunt often asked me to see if there were any girls chasing me. But if the second sister really tells the fortune-telling results to my aunt, I think she will really indirectly make it difficult for me to sleep. Knowing that I don't want to return to China yet, and my aunt is a big believer in fortune telling, in this case, I still have to say meaningless things, isn't that to deliberately annoy everyone? Auntie is afraid that I will be unhappy if I don't have a girlfriend, and I miss me again, and I don't want to return to China, but I don't want to feel that my aunt is so worried about me......

I hate this tangled sense of contradiction very much! Unfortunately, this feeling comes from the love of my relatives......

So, I could have had a happier holiday, but because of this, my daily confusion at that time was aggravated, and I really wanted to scold. But, that's all love! It's not me who should be scolded......

It seems that no matter how I say it, it's all my fault. Why is it immature? Why is it not getting ahead? Why is it so weak? Why is it too much......

Love, sometimes really heavy, but who hasn't tried to fall with love on their backs?

So, I can't see my way clearly......

I don't know when I suddenly have to go back to China to develop. How stable can I be when I change jobs like this? It's been a year or two since I came out, but I haven't done a job for a full year......

My future, I can't see.

Can the road really take me to the future I want?

Be at peace with what you encounter, and wherever you go, you will exist.

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